Sister Patterson drags her off, and New York says she just had a little moment, that's all. She hasn't been flirting with Chance all night, nope! Sister Patterson says her third eye tells her Chance had his hands all over New York during dinner. Apparently her third eye needs some glasses since it doesn't notice that New York often does the wrong thing. New York is many things, but perfect is not one of them.
Sister Patterson tells New York she doesn't need Chance hanging all over her like that, and that prompts Buddha to come over and ask if Chance was touching her. New York is visibly mortified. It's bad enough she's got all these man woes, but now her mom is berating her on TV and one of her many boyfriends is watching. Mr. Wise comes over and asks New York if she's upset. She says no but Pretty's about to walk over, so methinks she's going to get upset pretty fast.
Buddha says it's disrespectful for Chance to be groping New York while the other guys are trying to pursue her. Sister Patterson establishes that Chance is a guest, and he should be respectful in New York's house. None of these people have ever watched the show before, apparently, even though some have lived it. They don't know this is just the way shit goes. Buddha decides to confront Chance about all this, and awesomely enough, he's doing it because he thinks Sister Patterson could be lying. I love Buddha pretty intensely just for saying something like that.
Buddha, Punk, and a random brood of exes approach Chance to holla at him right quick. Buddha says he heard Chance was all over New York, and Chance is all like, "So what? You got a problem with that?" Um, yes. That's why they're here talking to you, hi. New York pushes her way into the conversation and tells Chance nothing's wrong, all while stroking his face. How awful is she? Chance starts screaming at Buddha anyway, saying they don't even know each other, and Real has to get in between them to break it up. A tearful New York ends up dragging Buddha away, and then Chance fucking snaps for no real reason. His glass of sangria explodes in his hand like he's the black Hulk or something. Of course Tailor Made quickly jigs out of sight. I'm truly quite surprised that Tailor Made would puss out of an argument.
Punk tells the camera he wouldn't be surprised if Chance comes back to the house for good since New York is such a hot mess. Luckily he seems set on leaving, stalking off through the mansion after throwing a screaming fit in the yard. New York is verklempt but Buddha makes it clear it's pretty much all her fault. "You had a first season full of fake-ass people, now you got a second season full of real people and you bring a dick in a crowd full of real people. What you expect?" postulates Buddha. In confessional, New York says she realized she couldn't be with Chance when she saw him start freaking out. He's way too out of control, so I guess it's a good thing his limo pulls away quickly. Bye Chance! Please don't come back!
Next, New York is upset because the mixer isn't going the way she wants it to. She wants to talk to the ladies, so Tailor Made calls them to come over. This is particularly exciting for Nancy since she's dressed as Belle from Beauty and the Beast.
Be our guest, be our guest!
Once the ladies join New York, she announces she has great news for Tailor Made. She chatted with Real and Chance, and all their research matched perfectly with her conversation with Nancy. The couple told the truth, hooray! As for Mr. Wise, he told Real and Chance his relationship ended three years ago, but apparently Kia said it ended one year ago. That contradicts everything they showed us before, but okay! New York is pissed he didn't tell her he saw Kia two weeks before arriving, so Mr. Wise says, "You know why?" New York doesn't want to know why! She says she's just one of those bitches that don't take reason, and yes, I'd say that's pretty much true. She certainly is an irrational bitch! Mr. Wise worries her, but he's not the only one who makes her concerned. Cue furious glance at Pretty.
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Comments (13)
First off, if I haven't said it before, I love your WKRP reference, BQ! It proves to me that you were probably born around the same time as me (sidebar: my Dad used to have a fu-manchu mustache, navy pea coat and knit cap that made him look exactly like Johnny Fever).
Holy Cow Andy (Travis- hah!)! What a crazy episode. To se NY mildly humbled and embarassed by her own slaggy behavior proves there's hope for makind in general. And she's 25? Yeah, right. If she really is, she should be ashamed that she looks at least 35. I've noticed, too, that she has to keep putting herself in corset-like outifts, since her quack surgeon inserted those towers of teflon waaaay too low. Just get them redone,babe...about 2 cups sizes smaller, please.
Isn't it funny how on every show she's been on, NY keeps talking about how much class she has? This coming from a woman who claims her favorite food is "ranch dressing". I won't even get into the topic of food verses condiments, here, but my oh my! I guess that's the stuff of beautiful recaps, BQ, so I won't complain. I love how your recaps are at leasst 7-8 pages long, so we know we're not missing anything. Keep it up!
1 of 13 | Posted by TheGreatAndPowerfulShz | Posted on November 26, 2007 6:51 AM
Great recap! Been waiting for it since last monday. It was weird seeing new york being humble, not sure if i like it much LOL. Im really surprised that she didnt bring chance back though cuz they had more chemistry than anybody.
I miss Chamo by the way.
Oh, and did anyone else see the other clips from vh1 where they showed pretty and new york and pretty's sister going at it? It was hilarious, but the way Pretty was fighting and yelling pretty much cements his gayness.
2 of 13 | Posted by amarie_luvsTV | Posted on November 26, 2007 7:46 AM
Heh Amarie,
The way Pretty was flailing his hands (limp wrists, limp wrists!) when he was complaining after the interrogation was VERY gay-like.
Anyways from previewing next episode (on Vh1.com) all I can say is Buddha is a bitch! He's a whiny, preachy, not to mention UGLY, bitch who resorts to junior high games to get New York. Basically, he is still sulking over the Chance thing in the next episode. I SO hope its his last!
3 of 13 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on November 26, 2007 8:04 AM
i dont care what the rest of you think, i love chance!!! i may be about as suburban-white-girl as they come, but he gets me going. he isnt even that attractive really, but his attitude and ridiculous comments just crack me up. i want him. so new york can dump him, ill happily pick him back up!!! hahahhahahaha
4 of 13 | Posted by aman | Posted on November 26, 2007 8:30 AM
Ugh, I am so over Buddha. You know what I hate the most about him? That RIDICULOUS sweater-tank thing he wears in his confessionals. He clearly purchased it from the big gal section at JC Penney.
I'm pretty sure he would crush NY's bones to make his bread, but she likes that kind of thing, so I'm envisioning a Buddha/Tailor Made finale with Buddha taking it on home. The thought of that grosses me out, but no more than the show does on a normal day, so evs.
5 of 13 | Posted by die_media_whores | Posted on November 26, 2007 9:37 AM
I picked Buddha as the person I wanted to win while watching the first few episodes but in my opinion he's turned out to be the worst of the bunch. He's faker than any of them. WTF was that bullshit about "keep my chain"..."a season full of real people"...okay.
I declared my hate for Tailor Made a while back and would like to retract that now. He has totally grown on me and he cracks me up. This has happened to me with other reality show people I hate in the beginning and wind up loving. It should be called the Santino Phenomenon or something. LOVE him now!
Finally, NY outdid herself with the "To Wong Foo" comment. I almost died. And as for you BQ, you outdid yourself with that Raven screencap. Hilarious
6 of 13 | Posted by msu11y28 | Posted on November 26, 2007 9:56 AM
Lots of interesting things happening in this one.
Great recap - and I agree that, in your case, never too long.
I am shocked - shocked I say - to find out that some of the people on this show may not have been completely honest.
The people on Jerry Springer have a lot more credibility (but usually less teeth).
7 of 13 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 26, 2007 12:29 PM
I love Chance too! I'm not attracted to him, but I think he's hilarious. He cracks me up.....and it's funny to see him and New York together...they're so funny and kinda cute too.
I'm pretty sure the producers were planning to bring Chance back, but after seeing how any one of those guys were about to pound him.....they pretty much thought it was safe to get him out of there. Too bad too......I would like to see more Chance around.
8 of 13 | Posted by jozeyg | Posted on November 26, 2007 12:55 PM
I completely agree with TheGreatAndPowerfulShz's comment regarding NY's declarations of being "classy" ... who invites guests (the ex's) to their "home" and then makes them feel so unwelcome? The ex's were giving NY helpful info, so why be so rude? Well, then again, I'd probably not have tuned in! So there you go :)
Great recap!
9 of 13 | Posted by chelle | Posted on November 26, 2007 3:24 PM
I have always said that about Buddha. He's such a bitch. When he throttled Tailor Made he was mad about something TM did to someone else. Buddha is annoying and I want to see his ass gone.
I hate Chance, too. Someone should douse him with gasoline, too. I hate that ignorant f*ck.
10 of 13 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on November 26, 2007 9:38 PM
New York's lisp and careful inunciation of every single word is grating. She really feels she's a classy cultured bitch. HA!
Buddha is also getting on my nerves.
Does anyone notice that when Punk wears turtlenecks it looks like someone cut the head off of a "normal" guy and pasted it on one of those bulked up action figures? It looks so funny cause it looks like a headless weight lifter was rushing out of the house and grabbed the wrong head.
Sister Patterson is such a damn enabler. NY was a complete slut and had absolutely no excuse. She deserved whatever was said to her, but Sister Patterson decided that her baby-skank's "sah-wee" words just cured the herpes right outta her mouth.
11 of 13 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on November 26, 2007 9:46 PM
"Does anyone notice that when Punk wears turtlenecks it looks like someone cut the head off of a "normal" guy and pasted it on one of those bulked up action figures? It looks so funny cause it looks like a headless weight lifter was rushing out of the house and grabbed the wrong head."
What the hell? Where in the hell did that idea come from? I like it and I am laughing my ass off, but it's very strange. Grabbed the wrong head??? Funny sh*t.
12 of 13 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on November 26, 2007 11:02 PM
As always, hilarious recap.
"Soon New York announces she'll be having dinner with Real and Chance to get all the dirt from the day. While there, she will also probably get herpes."
C'mon now, Bailey. You know New York already has the herpes.
"Catch up with" is slang for "give head to."
I see someone's been reading her Reality Show Dictionary. ;)
I can't tell whether Chance really likes New York or is a pawn in Real's marketing game. Also, Chance reminds me of a cartoon character, but I can't remember the name right now...
13 of 13 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on December 5, 2007 9:22 PM