By Nite Writer P. Funk
The reality show vixen has taken reality to a whole new level in tonight's episode, with what seems like the worst acting ever. Does acting in a reality show sound like an oxymoron? How about this then- Miss New York and Tango, two of the trashiest characters on television, re-enact the classiest love scene from the greatest greek tragedy in history. Sounds ironic, huh? Well add a little hilarity to that irony and you got yourself "I Love New York."
When tonight's episode of "I Love New York" began, I went to change the channel because I thought I was actually watching Rocky. Between the theme song remix and the training montage, I was in disbelief that I was seeing the nerdy Boston go from average joe into a pro. With the help of 12 Pack (because 12 Pack is always around for ambiguously gay action), Mr. Boston reveals his inner hulk beneath the "Big Papi's My Daddy" t-shirt. He is in the game and is serious about getting more smooches. It seems weird that 12 Pack is helping out someone he is competing against, but then again, it's the same guy who bench presses and smokes cigarettes at the same time. A class act, if you will.
It was a good thing, and quite an ironic thing, that 12 Pack began training Boston on this very morning. It just so happens to fall out on the same day as the Hoops Challenge. And I don't mean Hoopz, the original winner of Flavor of Love, whom I heard was doing porn (but don't quote me on that). This challenge is rather a competition in which all seven guys will play ball for a chance to win a date with New York. I can't wait to see Mr. Boston on the court. Chance, on the other hand, prefers to not be on a team with Boston. The beef between these two cats is all talk. With only two episodes left, they better throw down.
As always, there is a bit of twist to the challenge. In this case, the boys will play one on one against WNBA's Tamara Moore and try to show off their skills (emphasis on try). Chance is the first one out, as he tries to call a travel on her. Yeah, I'm sure this WNBA all star is travelling while playing Chance. 12 Pack is the second out. Real plays hard defense, but also goes down. Whiteboy is the next to go up against Tamara. Ladies and gentlemen, Whiteboy proves that white boys can jump. Move over Woody Harrelson. Tango injures himself...again. Tamara belittles him by saying, "You got a cramp"? He proves his manliness by continuing to play, but all of that is quickly removed when he loses. It looks as though white men really can jump when Rico is the second guy to score. Boston had the best looking game, even though he lost. I guess his training session with 12 Pack payed off. How ironic? The final game between Rico and Whiteboy is a shut out, crowing Whiteboy the winner 3-0.
Jealousy rears its ugly head back at the house when 12 Pack and Real make some sort of gay sounding plan for later. I'm telling you, it's always ambiguously gay when 12 Pack is involved. At first it sounded like the two of them were going to go on a date together. I'm not so sure, but I do know that Tango is annoying as he is playing the sick card. He tells New York that he is in so much pain that he has to go to the hospital. New York doesn't really care so much, but makes it a point to tell the viewers how Tango cried.
Date Night at Empress. The night proves to be as romantic as "The Notebook" when New York says, "You give me butterflies like the first day of school and shit like that." If that's not love, then I don't know what is. She gives him a watch and, of course, I'm sure she really bought it. Don't you love product placement! Whiteboy is extremely grateful for the watch. So grateful, in fact, that he gives her some sloppy kisses in return. New York is not down with his forte in bottom lip sucking. Uh-oh. A kiss can tell a girl a lot, so what is it that Whiteboy is saying? The funniest part was when he continued to suck face, even after New York had pulled away. And then to make matters worse for him, she wiped her face.
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Comments (12)
Tango is SO LAME. When he kept cracking his shoulder to make weird noises for sympathy during the eliminaton I just muttered "I hope you give yourself arthritis doing that." he is THE WORST. Whenever he comes on the screen I cringe. He's the second coming of pootie.
1 of 12 | Posted by Leah3t![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 15, 2007 3:23 PM
this show is crazy sometimes not in a good way lol
Can someone PLEASE tell me why every episode has to feature a three minute long shot of mr. boston digging in his nose? seriously... with that being said i think mr. boston is gonna win the whole thing.
2 of 12 | Posted by luvly_grrl![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 15, 2007 3:40 PM
Tango is a big psychotic baby.
I'm thinking Mr. Boston may be low functioning.
Sister Paterson deserves her own show, or at least on the next surreal life.
Sometimes Miss New York looks awesomely hot, other times, she's positively beastly.
I think 'real' may win this one...
KH
3 of 12 | Posted by KatiesHole![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 15, 2007 4:04 PM
Luvly_grrl, you are right on about stupid Boston digging in his damn nose. He's a weirdo dweeby nerd, WE GET IT.
My money is on either WhiteBoy or Real to win...that is, if you consider being with New York "winning".
4 of 12 | Posted by MissKatrina![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 15, 2007 4:10 PM
I think CHANCE will win the whole thing. I think she would have picked him day ONE but is just going thru the motions until the last episode. Girls love a bad boy!
Does she have an eating disorder? She is in love w/ food. We never see her working out.... I hope she is not on Anna Nicole's diet pills!
Also, Pootie was a DRUG ADDICT who was going thru DT and paranoid drug withdrawl at the Cafe w/ Sista Patterson. When the ambulance came, I think they gave him something to tide him over and that is why he popped back in all chipper!
5 of 12 | Posted by FLAPELE![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 15, 2007 6:27 PM
Ok I really like Whiteboy, but when he was kissing her I thought I was going to puke. It looked so disgusting. Also I really really like Boston and I don't know why. I guess it's just his nerdiness, but the nose picking has to go. My boyfriend really likes Tango and I don't understand why because it's obvious he is a huge pu**y. He gets injured on every challenge!
6 of 12 | Posted by dmbislove![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 16, 2007 7:20 AM
I don't mean to get all "Mr. Boston" on you (meaning weirdo dweeby nerd), Nite Writer P. Funk, because I enjoy your recaps.
That said, Romeo and Juliet was not a Greek tragedy. Shakespeare was English and the play was set in Italy. Perhaps call it "the greatest Elizabethan tragedy in history"?
I'm sorry, the Mr. Boston in me couldn't let that one go.
7 of 12 | Posted by gopluto![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 16, 2007 11:43 AM
The double teaming massage session was a nice video reel for 12 pack when he auditions for bi-sex porno. 12 pack is THAT giving of a stud to share new York with Real..or share Real with New York. Can't see this guy winning this thing.
as for Chance..Not sure what came first, Dave Chapelle's stand up comedian character from Nutty Professor, or Chance.
8 of 12 | Posted by dredge![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 16, 2007 1:51 PM
I watched the Tyra Banks show the other night and New York was on, with her mother and a few of the guys - and she (New York)looked like she had gained at least 20 or 30 pounds. She looked like an entirely different person. I guess all those late night snacks from Mr. Boston added up...
9 of 12 | Posted by jaliyah![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 17, 2007 1:09 AM
Oh god, this show is so bad, I love it. I don't think New York's gained THAT much weight, unless we're talking about her new implants. They look damn awful on her. Just too big. NOW she looks like a tranny. She was fine before, don't see why she had to inflate her chest up to watermelon size.
I'm on the Chance wins it all team, not because I particurly like him, but because when NY was on Kimmel like a month ago, Kimmel was holding up pictures of the dudes one by one and talking about them. When he got to Chance, he said, "this is the guy you pick, right?" and of course, NY couldn't say, she just got kind of sheepish and said she wasn't allowed to say. Ah well.
Chamo for life!
10 of 12 | Posted by brendahamLincoln![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 17, 2007 1:07 PM
new york looked more like a drag queen on flavor of love all skinny and bobble-headed and shit. She's lookin more like a woman with curves now. I think Chance might be the one aswell...she'll have the power over a manchild, which is a family trait handed down from Sistuh Patterson.
11 of 12 | Posted by dredge![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 20, 2007 1:03 PM
Aww what happened to the rest of the episodes? :(
12 of 12 | Posted by MichyPR![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 26, 2007 5:47 AM