They (finally) call it a night and Buddha heads back to the guys' room. He decides to torture the others a little bit by letting their imaginations run wild. He pulls off his shirt, strolls in topless, and tells Tailor Made and Punk that tonight, he and New York got physical. He doesn't ask aloud, but I'm pretty sure Punk was just itching to know what it was like to be with a girl. Tailor Made just puts his head into his pillow and screams anytime Buddha tells them anything. I know TM, its pretty icky, but that's what you have to look forward to if you win!
The next morning the boys get ready and head down to the lobby, where they meet with New York. Buddha goes right up to her and puts his hands around her neck (no, seriously, he does) and tells her he wants to get her scent back on his hands. How is this man still in the running?!
So, the trip the producers have set up for them is a day at Jungle Island. As soon as they get there New York is nervous because jungles have parrots in them, she knows because she saw Jungle Book, and she's scared of parrots. Why is she scared of parrots, you ask? Because they don't speak English diction, of course! I shared a good hearty laugh with my spiked coffee at this one. Even the dogs cocked their heads (oh, and just for the record, they don't speak English diction either, but we've manage to get by).
Don't look at me... bitch is crazy.
New York tells us that she decided today the boys would get some solo-time so she could get to know them better. Tailor Made is up first and they head over to a quiet spot to chat. They are getting nowhere fast when a Jungle Islander comes in and tells them they are bringing an animal in but they have to sit very still when they do. New York is all kinds of freaked out and it doesn't help that the employee tells her they are going to walk a 6'5" bird through the room that is a direct descendant of the velociraptor. OOH!
New York, in her second fantastic quote of the evening, tells us that she didn't know they made birds that size. Who's "they", sweetie? Who are the evil people churning out big, scary birds that don't speak English diction? I'm sure Buddha will take care of them for you.
So they bring this bird in, and New York starts cursing under her breath at the employee who is sitting with them. He tells her not to move and she says "I'm not moving you bastard." It's hilarious. This just in; I love New York.
Anyway, the walk the bird through, and just when you though Tailor Made's solo time wasn't going so well, it urinates on the floor in front of them. It's really, horribly, unsexifying. It isn't even a steady stream, it's a gushing.
After that lovely display, Punk is up for solo time with New York. They hit up another exhibit where the Jungle Islanders bring in another animal for New York to flip out over. This time, it's a Burmese Python. Those things are huge! We used to have a ball python named Butters, but she was a total C-U-Next-Tuesday. New York is scared and Punk tells us this is his time to show New York that he can protect her. Good thinking! New York doesn't like this at all and gives us a little anatomy lesson; "It had a head, a tail, and it was plus sized." Thanks, NY! That was more informative than my entire pre-med degree. Now, does that come with an accompanying diagram?
Okay, so I can see the head, now where is this 'tail' you speak of?
The one thing both men managed to accomplish while on their solo dates with New York was planting in her head the fact that Buddha is not good for her. So when they all get back together, Buddha is walking in front solo and New York is between Tailor Made and Punk, linking arms with both. "I'm glad I only have 2 arms," she says. This woman is CHOCK FULL of hilarious wisdom!
And that puts an end to Jungle Island. It's too bad, I was really looking forward to enhancing my knowledge of the animal kingdom through New York's eyes.
When the gang gets back to the hotel, New York asks Punk to join her for lunch and Tailor Made to join her for dinner. Buddha is assed out, not that he cares, he'll probably use the alone time to learn about Miss Vietnamese's culture.
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Comments (22)
I will really miss Bailey Quarters. Sorry Pachita, I don't mean to compare, because you do a pretty good job. But I think BQ is more experienced with the show, and can possibly make fun of it better. But you're new & there were funny moments in this one, like the screencap of your dog. I wish you would have had a screencap or something about "Sister" Patterson saying "You're dead meat girl". That was the funniest line of the episode.
Anyway, I think NY will end up with Buddha. If she hasn't seen through him by now, it's possible that she never will.
1 of 22 | Posted by hollabackboy | Posted on December 13, 2007 10:34 AM
I thought your recap was great and really funny! NY is so the psycho men think of when they think of pyscho women. When she was with buddha and told him to leave and then was crying on the steps for him not to leave...he just wants to win so he can say he won and then dump her on the reunion show. I think she is looking more and more like Sister P every episode.
2 of 22 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on December 13, 2007 10:48 AM
Great recap Pachita!
NY is the dumbest girl, like, ever! Seriously. I love her to death but she has shit for brains.
And ewwwww WHY KEEP BUDDHA!? He's me, and an and abusive, he'll probably end up deflating those fake boobies giving her a beating.
3 of 22 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on December 13, 2007 10:59 AM
WOW dunno whats with my spellig but I meant to say he's mean and abusive
4 of 22 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on December 13, 2007 11:01 AM
Good job Pachita - way to take one for the team! It was interesting to hear the viewpoint of someone not as well acquainted with this show. BQ, hope you are feeling better soon.
5 of 22 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on December 13, 2007 11:03 AM
I love BaileyQuarters, but luckily I also love Pachita too. So it's safe to say, no matter which one of the two does these recaps, I'll love it. This one was no exception.
So does anyone else think that Tailor Made's face masks are HYSTERICAL? I cracked up when I first saw him putting one on and they played the "Halloween" music in the background.
Punk was boring and his mom looked a little...off. So I'm glad he's gone. And I swear, Buddha argues just for argument's sake. It's annoying. She is definitely keeping him on for tv, because if anyone else dares to look at her cross-eyed, she kicks them out instantly.
6 of 22 | Posted by Joe Blow | Posted on December 13, 2007 11:23 AM
if you go to Budda's web site you can see other "films" he's been in....www.ezramasters.com
7 of 22 | Posted by sheya | Posted on December 13, 2007 11:47 AM
Great recap! :) (Get well soon, BQ!)
Did Vh1 play a commercial for the final DURING the middle of this episode? I saw it, as it showed Buddha & TM in elimination, & thought "well, there goes that drama!"
I want to see Punk's reaction to seeing NY mouth "I love you" to Buddha when he was being eliminated. Whether he "loves" her or not (ugh!), he still got played as a fool when that happened! ha ha
8 of 22 | Posted by chelle | Posted on December 13, 2007 12:41 PM
chelle - i saw that commercial too! i was trying to decide if it really happened and if it was buddha in that bright pink shirt (i think??) yeah, no suspense there! but i think everyone knew she was gonna keep buddha around anyway.
9 of 22 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on December 13, 2007 1:29 PM
Hey Guys,
Thanks for all the comments - I knew I had some big shoes to fill, so I'm glad to hear some of you enjoyed it!
Hollaback boy - I am definitely not as familiar with the show as BQ, but will try to catch up as much as I can before the finale...
JoeBlow - you just made my day! :)
10 of 22 | Posted by pachita | Posted on December 13, 2007 1:39 PM
I love BQ, so I was fully prepared to hate this recap. I didn't hate it, I actually really liked it...although I will really miss BQ :(
11 of 22 | Posted by yummy | Posted on December 13, 2007 3:48 PM
Why are they starting casting calls next summer for I love New York season 3????? What happened this time??? New York just can not find love it seems. Flavor Flav seems to be in the same thing since Flavor of Love 3 has already started their filming.
12 of 22 | Posted by warcraft123 | Posted on December 13, 2007 6:29 PM
I miss me some BQ, but I read Pachita's ANTM recaps, and they are always hilarious.
Pachita, you did an awesome job, especially since you had to jump right in. I can imagine that is difficult. Let me help you out by providing a little background info on the show: They're all f*cking morons.
Hope that helps.
I hope Bailey feels better soon!
dd
13 of 22 | Posted by dangerdarling | Posted on December 13, 2007 8:46 PM
Pachita, you are so great for taking over! You're great in general as well, and I do believe we should run away together.
Thanks for all the sweet comments about me and my recaps, too! I'll definitely be back to writing as soon as possible, particularly if everyone on reality TV continues to be an assclown. :)
14 of 22 | Posted by BaileyQuarters | Posted on December 13, 2007 10:38 PM
The running thing with all these VH1 "of Love" shows is that you inevitably end up with someone you're rooting for to win, because they're awesome human beings, but you don't want them to be with the "star" in the end. For example, Flav. v.1: Hoopz, Flav. V.2: somehow Deelishus. Rock of Love: Jes. New York v.1: Tango.
But the weird thing is I can't advocate either of these guys winning. Tailor Made is whiny and weak, and I can't imagine him actually with New York. Meanwhile, Buddha is very forceful, knows how to push New York's buttons, but also doesn't seem that into her, actually.
At least it was hilarious when Buddha was providing all the "details" of their previous night. That was just funny.
15 of 22 | Posted by MidwestNomad | Posted on December 14, 2007 9:33 AM
I love New York 3??? What the hell, I think she should just quit already and so should Flava Flav. I seen previews for the Rock of Love 2 with Bret Michaels and I really think people should stop trying to fond love on TV shows. They make their self look desperate and most of the people that go on the show are only there to start something for theirselves.
New York is one dumb ass chic to keep Buddha! She deserves to get her heart broken AGAIN at the reunion show. Because we all know she will pick him in the finale. I will be so shocked if she picked Tailor Made! If she did, it's probably because he has money! Too bad he is too much of a genuine guy for her slutty self or else it would work. Maybe he should hit someone to get on her side. Who would have thought HE would have made it to the final two? $$$$$$$ that's why!
16 of 22 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on December 14, 2007 10:25 AM
Thought it was a fine recap, especially as a pinch hitter.
I think Budda was picked as the "winner" (least loser?) before the show ever started filming. Why else would they bring him back after he broke the rules and assaulted Tailor Maid?
By definition, anyone who goes on one of these shows is a "loser".
Looking forward to "ILNY4", etc.
17 of 22 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 14, 2007 2:16 PM
Don't worry about it Pachita. I think my inital reaction when seeing it was a new recapper was to compare the two. But that's unfair because every recapper has his/her own style. You did a good job and your recap was funny, especially since you just now started watching the show.
18 of 22 | Posted by hollabackboy | Posted on December 14, 2007 7:25 PM
Get well soon, Bailey. XOXO
Nice job for being a newbie to the show, Pachita. Although it really does suck that BQ wasn't able to recap the episode where one of NY's final contenders was axed. I can only imagine what she has to say about Punk's exit. I hope Bailey can do her version of a recap once she (he?) gets better.
The best part about I Love NY is watching Sister Patterson fight to keep the SP-approved "good guys" on the show when NY is obviously only attracted to bad boys.
19 of 22 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on December 14, 2007 7:34 PM
Buddha annoys the hell out of me. I really hate that guy. I think what annoys me the most is his arrogance. I almost hate him as much as I hate Chance. I still think both of them should be castrated, have their balls stuffed in their cheeks, and then douse them with gasoline. That being said, I hope Tailor Made wins this thing. Does it really matter, though? Whoever she picks, the "relationship" isn't going to work for some reason or another. That reason being, of course, I LOVE NEW YORK 3!
20 of 22 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on December 16, 2007 12:40 PM
warcraft, you really think NY is on here looking for love? And Flava Flav? He gets plenty of lovin', as evidenced by his 6,000 kids by 13 different mamas (ok, an exaggeration but who has time to count all those damn kids?).
NY will be on this show until her real age catches up with her face, because she makes decisions with her cooch. She's suffering from a condition called young-broad-thinking.
"I still think both of them should be castrated, have their balls stuffed in their cheeks, and then douse them with gasoline."
Wow. Reese, all that just because of some arrogance? I'd hate to see what you would do to an actual menace to society like a drug dealer or child molester.
21 of 22 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on December 17, 2007 4:29 AM
...?
Where the hell did you guys information that ILNY3 is casting? That's total bull. NY gave several recent interviews after the finale and she and Tailor Made have been living together for the last 6 months.
Also, if there was any truth to that certainly the obsessed people over at the flavor of love blogspot (just google it because I can't link) would definately have said something by now.
For the record, I think NY was in it for love. And this is coming from someone that called FOL 1 and 2 fake, as well as Rock of Love, Age of Love, Shot at Love.. and pretty much any other dating show out there.
22 of 22 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on December 18, 2007 7:40 PM