Punk gets ready and meets New York in a cabana of sorts. They have a nice time, and New York tells us that Punk has no problems, but there isn't any passion or lust. No passion, eh? Well just watch what punk can do with whipped cream! When the waiter brings dessert Punk asks if he can keep the bottle and proceeds to lay a cherry on his shoulder and cover it with whipped cream, telling New York she has to find it. I can't imagine it will be hard for her. I mean, after observing her use of English diction, its obvious the girls got a big mouth. She goes to town on one of the less erogenous zones of the body (seriously, why not the stomach? Or smack on a man-boob?) and they both giggle like school girls. When they're done, Punk heads home, sure that they made a real connection and that she's unaware of his true sexual orientation.
Tailor Made gets all done up for his dinner with New York and even brings her a gift. New York is flattered because she can be bought and tells us that there's something special about Tailor Made. He tells her he's been thinking about their life together and they start making out because he really doesn't have anything to follow up with and doesn't want New York to notice that he's sweating profusely.
I told you guys it was humid down there!
The make-out party looks awfully forced and results in him picking New York up and bringing her inside before throwing her on the bed. There is something really unnatural about these two getting it on and LUCKILY they are interrupted by a hostess who tells New York her mother is downstairs waiting for her. New York tells us she's really disappointed because Sister Patterson ruined her sex. Tailor Made was really disappointed, too. So disappointed, in fact, that he went and vomited a few times before burning his clothes and crying in fetal position under a scalding hot shower. Oh well, 'til next time Tailor Made.
New York and Tailor Made get downstairs to find Sister Patterson sitting with Punk and Buddha. The boys are fighting over who has a worse career or something equally lame and Sister Patterson is suprised to hear that Buddha is an actor. New York recalls Buddha telling her he was a life-coach in the beginning. Ladies, acting is synonymous with lying, didn't you know? Kind of like you and your "mother".
Sister Patterson announces her departure and tells New York she knows who has to leave. Then she tells us, "Buddha, believe this, you will never be my son-in-law. Because New York is not really my daughter. In fact, I don't even have a daughter, because I'm actually a drag-queen..." or something to that effect.
When New York is left alone with the guys she links arms with Punk and Tailor and thanks them for being honest with her and showing her how much they care. She talks to them about Buddha, with him sitting right there, and it is hilarious. Buddha is pissed because if he gets kicked off he won't have an angle to pitch his new sitcom "Buddha Beats Bitches". He tells us if she's made her choice, fine, he doesn't need this, and walks out. Dun dun DUNNNNNN!
She starts whining about how no one disrespects her like that and Punk and Tailor Made tell her to relax and stay where she is because Buddha wants her to follow him, he's doing it on purpose. That may be the only truthful thing you've said this episode, boys, congrats!
Back at the house, New York and Sister Patterson are sitting on a couch gazing at two chains. Its coming down to the line, and this is going to be a really tough decision. Even tougher than getting into some of those shirts, I'm sure.
Time to find out who goes home! The boys are standing in a line, anxiously awaiting New York's decision. She comes strutting out in one of her typically fantastic outfits and WOAH, can we talk about what's happening under Punk's shirt?
Give that boy some Benadryl or something because that can NOT be right.
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Comments (22)
I will really miss Bailey Quarters. Sorry Pachita, I don't mean to compare, because you do a pretty good job. But I think BQ is more experienced with the show, and can possibly make fun of it better. But you're new & there were funny moments in this one, like the screencap of your dog. I wish you would have had a screencap or something about "Sister" Patterson saying "You're dead meat girl". That was the funniest line of the episode.
Anyway, I think NY will end up with Buddha. If she hasn't seen through him by now, it's possible that she never will.
1 of 22 | Posted by hollabackboy | Posted on December 13, 2007 10:34 AM
I thought your recap was great and really funny! NY is so the psycho men think of when they think of pyscho women. When she was with buddha and told him to leave and then was crying on the steps for him not to leave...he just wants to win so he can say he won and then dump her on the reunion show. I think she is looking more and more like Sister P every episode.
2 of 22 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on December 13, 2007 10:48 AM
Great recap Pachita!
NY is the dumbest girl, like, ever! Seriously. I love her to death but she has shit for brains.
And ewwwww WHY KEEP BUDDHA!? He's me, and an and abusive, he'll probably end up deflating those fake boobies giving her a beating.
3 of 22 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on December 13, 2007 10:59 AM
WOW dunno whats with my spellig but I meant to say he's mean and abusive
4 of 22 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on December 13, 2007 11:01 AM
Good job Pachita - way to take one for the team! It was interesting to hear the viewpoint of someone not as well acquainted with this show. BQ, hope you are feeling better soon.
5 of 22 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on December 13, 2007 11:03 AM
I love BaileyQuarters, but luckily I also love Pachita too. So it's safe to say, no matter which one of the two does these recaps, I'll love it. This one was no exception.
So does anyone else think that Tailor Made's face masks are HYSTERICAL? I cracked up when I first saw him putting one on and they played the "Halloween" music in the background.
Punk was boring and his mom looked a little...off. So I'm glad he's gone. And I swear, Buddha argues just for argument's sake. It's annoying. She is definitely keeping him on for tv, because if anyone else dares to look at her cross-eyed, she kicks them out instantly.
6 of 22 | Posted by Joe Blow | Posted on December 13, 2007 11:23 AM
if you go to Budda's web site you can see other "films" he's been in....www.ezramasters.com
7 of 22 | Posted by sheya | Posted on December 13, 2007 11:47 AM
Great recap! :) (Get well soon, BQ!)
Did Vh1 play a commercial for the final DURING the middle of this episode? I saw it, as it showed Buddha & TM in elimination, & thought "well, there goes that drama!"
I want to see Punk's reaction to seeing NY mouth "I love you" to Buddha when he was being eliminated. Whether he "loves" her or not (ugh!), he still got played as a fool when that happened! ha ha
8 of 22 | Posted by chelle | Posted on December 13, 2007 12:41 PM
chelle - i saw that commercial too! i was trying to decide if it really happened and if it was buddha in that bright pink shirt (i think??) yeah, no suspense there! but i think everyone knew she was gonna keep buddha around anyway.
9 of 22 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on December 13, 2007 1:29 PM
Hey Guys,
Thanks for all the comments - I knew I had some big shoes to fill, so I'm glad to hear some of you enjoyed it!
Hollaback boy - I am definitely not as familiar with the show as BQ, but will try to catch up as much as I can before the finale...
JoeBlow - you just made my day! :)
10 of 22 | Posted by pachita | Posted on December 13, 2007 1:39 PM
I love BQ, so I was fully prepared to hate this recap. I didn't hate it, I actually really liked it...although I will really miss BQ :(
11 of 22 | Posted by yummy | Posted on December 13, 2007 3:48 PM
Why are they starting casting calls next summer for I love New York season 3????? What happened this time??? New York just can not find love it seems. Flavor Flav seems to be in the same thing since Flavor of Love 3 has already started their filming.
12 of 22 | Posted by warcraft123 | Posted on December 13, 2007 6:29 PM
I miss me some BQ, but I read Pachita's ANTM recaps, and they are always hilarious.
Pachita, you did an awesome job, especially since you had to jump right in. I can imagine that is difficult. Let me help you out by providing a little background info on the show: They're all f*cking morons.
Hope that helps.
I hope Bailey feels better soon!
dd
13 of 22 | Posted by dangerdarling | Posted on December 13, 2007 8:46 PM
Pachita, you are so great for taking over! You're great in general as well, and I do believe we should run away together.
Thanks for all the sweet comments about me and my recaps, too! I'll definitely be back to writing as soon as possible, particularly if everyone on reality TV continues to be an assclown. :)
14 of 22 | Posted by BaileyQuarters | Posted on December 13, 2007 10:38 PM
The running thing with all these VH1 "of Love" shows is that you inevitably end up with someone you're rooting for to win, because they're awesome human beings, but you don't want them to be with the "star" in the end. For example, Flav. v.1: Hoopz, Flav. V.2: somehow Deelishus. Rock of Love: Jes. New York v.1: Tango.
But the weird thing is I can't advocate either of these guys winning. Tailor Made is whiny and weak, and I can't imagine him actually with New York. Meanwhile, Buddha is very forceful, knows how to push New York's buttons, but also doesn't seem that into her, actually.
At least it was hilarious when Buddha was providing all the "details" of their previous night. That was just funny.
15 of 22 | Posted by MidwestNomad | Posted on December 14, 2007 9:33 AM
I love New York 3??? What the hell, I think she should just quit already and so should Flava Flav. I seen previews for the Rock of Love 2 with Bret Michaels and I really think people should stop trying to fond love on TV shows. They make their self look desperate and most of the people that go on the show are only there to start something for theirselves.
New York is one dumb ass chic to keep Buddha! She deserves to get her heart broken AGAIN at the reunion show. Because we all know she will pick him in the finale. I will be so shocked if she picked Tailor Made! If she did, it's probably because he has money! Too bad he is too much of a genuine guy for her slutty self or else it would work. Maybe he should hit someone to get on her side. Who would have thought HE would have made it to the final two? $$$$$$$ that's why!
16 of 22 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on December 14, 2007 10:25 AM
Thought it was a fine recap, especially as a pinch hitter.
I think Budda was picked as the "winner" (least loser?) before the show ever started filming. Why else would they bring him back after he broke the rules and assaulted Tailor Maid?
By definition, anyone who goes on one of these shows is a "loser".
Looking forward to "ILNY4", etc.
17 of 22 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 14, 2007 2:16 PM
Don't worry about it Pachita. I think my inital reaction when seeing it was a new recapper was to compare the two. But that's unfair because every recapper has his/her own style. You did a good job and your recap was funny, especially since you just now started watching the show.
18 of 22 | Posted by hollabackboy | Posted on December 14, 2007 7:25 PM
Get well soon, Bailey. XOXO
Nice job for being a newbie to the show, Pachita. Although it really does suck that BQ wasn't able to recap the episode where one of NY's final contenders was axed. I can only imagine what she has to say about Punk's exit. I hope Bailey can do her version of a recap once she (he?) gets better.
The best part about I Love NY is watching Sister Patterson fight to keep the SP-approved "good guys" on the show when NY is obviously only attracted to bad boys.
19 of 22 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on December 14, 2007 7:34 PM
Buddha annoys the hell out of me. I really hate that guy. I think what annoys me the most is his arrogance. I almost hate him as much as I hate Chance. I still think both of them should be castrated, have their balls stuffed in their cheeks, and then douse them with gasoline. That being said, I hope Tailor Made wins this thing. Does it really matter, though? Whoever she picks, the "relationship" isn't going to work for some reason or another. That reason being, of course, I LOVE NEW YORK 3!
20 of 22 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on December 16, 2007 12:40 PM
warcraft, you really think NY is on here looking for love? And Flava Flav? He gets plenty of lovin', as evidenced by his 6,000 kids by 13 different mamas (ok, an exaggeration but who has time to count all those damn kids?).
NY will be on this show until her real age catches up with her face, because she makes decisions with her cooch. She's suffering from a condition called young-broad-thinking.
"I still think both of them should be castrated, have their balls stuffed in their cheeks, and then douse them with gasoline."
Wow. Reese, all that just because of some arrogance? I'd hate to see what you would do to an actual menace to society like a drug dealer or child molester.
21 of 22 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on December 17, 2007 4:29 AM
...?
Where the hell did you guys information that ILNY3 is casting? That's total bull. NY gave several recent interviews after the finale and she and Tailor Made have been living together for the last 6 months.
Also, if there was any truth to that certainly the obsessed people over at the flavor of love blogspot (just google it because I can't link) would definately have said something by now.
For the record, I think NY was in it for love. And this is coming from someone that called FOL 1 and 2 fake, as well as Rock of Love, Age of Love, Shot at Love.. and pretty much any other dating show out there.
22 of 22 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on December 18, 2007 7:40 PM