Last week saw the brutal demise of our beloved, closeted Corey and cat-eyed temptress Patricia, after the two were paired up as scene partners to play siblings who pretend to be Russian spies. Patricia faltered with the accent and Corey couldn't pull off straight. Also Corey's choice in wardrobe distracted and confused the judges.

"Justin Timberlake eat my hard on. I mean I heart getting eaten out. I mean....DAMNIT! What's wrong with me?!"

If it were possible, at this point I would play a montage showing highlights of Corey and Patricia's run on the show while I play "Time of Your Life," but since that's not possible, let's just accept that they're dead and move on. The total number of remaining contestants is now down to 8 and this week everyone is sent to Hollywood Tan to get their tan on, with a spray gun. That evening Bo makes the mistake of going to bed without his shirt on and wakes up with his sheets stained brown and streaked with body makeup. Jimena tells him that he'll get used to it since her sheets look that way every morning.

As usual, the intern comes in to wake up all of the potentials at the crack of 6 AM informing them they are due on set in 90 minutes. It amazes me when I see actors having to really wake up and work since I always picture actors being pampered and only doing things on their time. Every time I see that Crest commercial where Brooke Shields says her day begins at the crack of dawn and ends at the crack of dawn the next day, I think to myself, "What can she possibly be doing? Yea, it must be really hard recording Suddenly Susan nine years ago." Regardless, the cast quickly gets ready and lines up on set to receive their instruction. Host Cameron Matheson gives them the details on their latest script, wherein two friends vie for the affection of the same lifeguard at the beach and ultimately come to blows, while wearing revealing swimwear. Oo la la.

Before rehearsals season two winner Alec Musser comes on to give the actors advice and words of wisdom. This brilliance comes down to Musser informing everyone that winning feels good, so do that. Genius, Alec! I see you won on not only your good looks, but your wit as well. Rehearsals begin and everyone is visibly shaken by the idea of performing in a bathing suit, except Yves who could wear Swiss cheese and cat littler and still look stunningly perfect. Jimena and Joyce are the most awkward, but Joyce brings her secret weapon: a long, flowing wig so that she can play the sexpot that's required. Jimena chooses to rely solely on her acting ability and one of her many faces.

Uh, yea. It's pretty. Gulp

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Posted in I Wanna Be A Soap Star by FozzieBare at 2:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: geewits on Sep 9, 2007 01:44 PM.

Comments (6)

eellsinoc :

You have a little name confusion going on...

"this week the bottom 4 are all called up. Justin, Joyce, Monica and Jimena all quake and ..."

It was Travis in the bottom four.

"Justin has been strong up to this point, but was really weak in his scene."

Again this is Travis they were talking about.

"Shef tells Corey that he needs to focus on his flurdy and not worry so much about the bork."

I know I am annoying...but TRAVIS!

1 of 6 | Posted by eellsinoc | Posted on September 8, 2007 8:53 AM

eellsinoc :

Oh - and forgot to say how hilarious your recap was!!!

I love this show - and I don't even watch any soap operas.

2 of 6 | Posted by eellsinoc | Posted on September 8, 2007 8:56 AM

fozziebare13 :

DOH! I guess I'm just so torn up about Corey's untimely demise that I can't stop thinking about him. Thanks for the clarification.

3 of 6 | Posted by fozziebare13 | Posted on September 8, 2007 9:32 AM

angiemarie :

Another awesome recap, Fozz!

How about the fact that Jimena looks like Golem from Lord of the Rings? Yeah, can she really be on a soap with that look? I guess Passions would be up for a another strange creature.

4 of 6 | Posted by angiemarie | Posted on September 8, 2007 2:29 PM

bdos88 :

FozzieBare, thanks for the funny recap.

5 of 6 | Posted by bdos88 | Posted on September 8, 2007 8:25 PM

geewits:

I was surprised, too. I don't know a lot about acting, but I totally got what the Judges were saying about Monica. You left out the funny part about Monica saying she had to act with a weak actor, but she was great. Ha ha! Great recap, thanks!

6 of 6 | Posted by geewits | Posted on September 9, 2007 1:44 PM

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