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Hilton: "Um lampin, um lampin, um cole cole lampin" - TVgasm

by sg-dub

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It was with some trepidation that I fired up the TiVo for this week's "I Want to Be a Hilton" episode. As much as I couldn't stand the sniveling Yvette...as much as Ann hurt my head to watch...Now that they were gone, I wasn't sure the show would offer any more of the type of conflict we've come to expect from reality TV. Yes, that ol' reality TV conundrum: the people you hate are often the same people who make the show interesting. Once I settled in, though, I was soothed by the show's quaint use of sepia-toned Manhattan-scapes and Roaring 20's tweakly ragtimey piano. "Ahhhhh, Kathy Hilton," I muttered as a smile crept across my face, "You are...so damn...classy!" Sufficiently transported to the world of high society, I was ready to watch. Random TVgasm Trivia: Which reality veteran's song did this recap's title come from? Answer after the jump.

Why it's none other than Flava Flav, aka "Mr. Foofy Foo," from Public Enemy's album "It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back." Flav is a mad genius.

Checking in with the teams, it appears the Brenden/Vanessa conflict over at Park had not subsided, despite the fact their team is thus far undefeated. These two really dislike each other, blaming the other for--their uninterrupted winning streak? Of course, as bad as that situation was, the mood over at Team Madison was far worse. Down to three survivors and never having won a thing, Latricia, Jackaay, and Jabe were commiserating about their failures. Jabe did mention how they could take heart in the fact that they were the "most sane" people on Madison. While true, is that really any consolation when you're the "most sane" LOSERS? I think not.

The teams gathered with Kathy Hilton at Chanterelle for a luncheon. Apparently rich people don't eat "lunch," they have "luncheons." (Actually, I just looked up the definitions and there actually is a difference and Kathy is right. She was having a luncheon. Damn my public school education!) Kathy was joined by her friend Frederique Van Der Wal and two people from the fashion industry. Frederique, yet another reality veteran (Celebrity Mole) had absolutely nothing to say. It appeared she was just there for the free lunch. Poor, poor washed-up supermodel. Mrs. Hilton addressed the troops and explained this week's challenge. It was going to be fashion related, which drew groans from some of the remaining hickish guys as well as yelps of joy from some of the women. Such as Niki, the Paris Hilton wannabe, who loves fashion so much she claimed that she'd "rather buy shoes than eat." At that point, the illegal immigrant dishwasher spit in her Florida Frogs' Legs Sauté with Garlic Lasagna and Parsley Coulis appetizer. (Found here.) Mmmmmm, Florida frogs' legs - so much better than those from Louisiana.


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