The challenge this week was for two teams of two to compete against each other in creating a NY hotspot on a Monday night. They'd use different spaces within the same giant NYC club - Quo - but they'd have to solicit a variety of PR people, party planners, and party promoters. Whichever team got more people through their door would be declared the winners and the losing team would result in one person being sent home. I didn't know it at the time, but this challenge set up each Hilton-tice for some serious ridicule and embarrassment. The teams were Jaret/Vanessa (anagram: Vaj 'n ass eater) and Jackaay/JW (anagram: Ya Jackjaw) and with the challenge laid out, it was time get crackin'.

The four made there way over to Quo to meet the club's promoter, John Mosely. The show's editors must be really quite old and stuck in the 1970's, as the music accompanying their arrival to the club was straight up Meco Monardo's "Star Wars and Other Galactic Funk" disco. In the face of such dated music, Mosely pumped up the troops with, "I want this place pumpin' and vibin'." Jackaay's take on this was to make their club "Modelicious." But with all these slang phrases being bandied about, JW was still stumped on the club's name: "I don't know what 'Quo' means." Dude, it's a NYC club... Does it have to "mean" anything? I guess when you're used to "Jimbo's BBQ and Blues Shack," such interpretive names are truly vexing. Jackaay, however, was at least familiar with the phrase "status quo," so she named their party "Status at Quo." I've heard worse... Like Team Vaj 'n Ass Eater's "Lunes at Quo." Oh that Vanessa, she's so classy with her fancy Spanish learnin'.

Kathy armed each team with names and numbers of several socialites, party planners, and NY glitterati. I'm guessing that Kathy simply went online and printed off Paris' famous hacked blackberry contact list. This worked both ways - these whoring spoiled brats would get to appear on TV (albeit to a barely measurable audience) and look cool to, oh, I don't know...12 year olds in Wichita? In return, they had to sign a written promise (or, perhaps, "swear on a bible") to never divulge their personal stories of the coke-fueled sex orgies they've all had with Paris and Nicky Hilton. I think that's called "Something for something," i.e., "Quid Pro Quo." Hence, my title is like, doubly clever... Or something... Somehow. Jaret's first stop was to appear on air with early 90's MTV staple Ed Lova on his Power 105 radio show. (On the way there, it must be noted, the camera car drove right through a rather obvious red light in Manhattan. Hey, when you wanna be a Hilton, traffic laws mean nothing!) The strangest thing about the station visit was the narrator who droned, "For the few Manhattanites the Hiltons don't know, Kathy arranges a way to meet them as well." In other words, "Since the Hiltons don't associate with Manhattanites who are BLACK, Kathy arranged a paid-for advertisement with NICE BLACK GUY, Ed Lova." Am I wrong for interpreting the narrator that way?

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Posted in I Want to Be a Hilton by sg-dub at 10:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: dead sea salt on Aug 20, 2005 05:18 PM.