Quid Pro (Status) Quo - 
by sg-dub
My Tour of Hilton Recap Duty is nearly over as the socialite wannabes have been whittled down to the final four: Uber-wimp Jaret, PMS spokeswoman Vanessa, frumpy Jackaay, and the cryptically named JW. Actually, JW is from Mississippi, so perhaps that's the best his illiterate Mississippi parents could come up with. The four were enjoying their breakfast when Kathy Hilton appeared to discuss the day's challenge. Watching this show, I've learned that Kathy Hilton is so cool that her mere presence causes these kids to golf clap. They do it every week at the end of the show, but this week they greeted her with it at an impromptu breakfast appearance.
As commonplace as it's now become to dub in the reality host's yammering, Who Wants to be a Hilton seems to have taken it to new heights. Entire paragraphs are dubbed in - so much so that it sounds like a 15 year old's two-bit cable access show. In fact, as Kathy was explaining the challenge, I had to be do a double take to insure that she was actually present and not just appearing on a green screen or via a Princess Leia hologram projection thingamajig. It was that poorly produced.
Continue reading for more Star Wars references, after the jump...
The challenge this week was for two teams of two to compete against each other in creating a NY hotspot on a Monday night. They'd use different spaces within the same giant NYC club - Quo - but they'd have to solicit a variety of PR people, party planners, and party promoters. Whichever team got more people through their door would be declared the winners and the losing team would result in one person being sent home. I didn't know it at the time, but this challenge set up each Hilton-tice for some serious ridicule and embarrassment. The teams were Jaret/Vanessa (anagram: Vaj 'n ass eater) and Jackaay/JW (anagram: Ya Jackjaw) and with the challenge laid out, it was time get crackin'.
The four made there way over to Quo to meet the club's promoter, John Mosely. The show's editors must be really quite old and stuck in the 1970's, as the music accompanying their arrival to the club was straight up Meco Monardo's "Star Wars and Other Galactic Funk" disco. In the face of such dated music, Mosely pumped up the troops with, "I want this place pumpin' and vibin'." Jackaay's take on this was to make their club "Modelicious." But with all these slang phrases being bandied about, JW was still stumped on the club's name: "I don't know what 'Quo' means." Dude, it's a NYC club... Does it have to "mean" anything? I guess when you're used to "Jimbo's BBQ and Blues Shack," such interpretive names are truly vexing. Jackaay, however, was at least familiar with the phrase "status quo," so she named their party "Status at Quo." I've heard worse... Like Team Vaj 'n Ass Eater's "Lunes at Quo." Oh that Vanessa, she's so classy with her fancy Spanish learnin'.
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