We open up with Poprah/Kim, fresh off her narrow escape from elimination, asking Boris to celebrate her victory with her. Boris says that while he Can Do that, Poprah shouldn't get too cocky for it's only a matter of time before she actually is eliminated. Not if the producers having anything to say about that. Meanwhile, Tranny (la)Verne is busy demonstrating the lack of bulge in her tight pants as she does spread-eagle stretches on the living room floor. She tells us she's worried about her position in the game, as she isn't connecting with the other contestants. The men in the room snicker at her while desperately trying to convince themselves they wouldn't hit that.

Cue Verne's public service announcement on transgendered people, which I basically space out on but do notice that Verne has purchased herself a nice set of titties. Not as nice as Boobette's, but still quite impressive. As she explains various terminology to Poprah, Red, and Suzanne (a Harvard alum never stops learning... or being a pretentious prick) in one bedroom, in another bedroom sit Kendra, Boris and Mike. Kendra mentions that she can hear Verne talking about "the transgender issue again" in a tone that suggests Verne talks about nothing else. Boris stops picking at his toe jam long enough to ask what transgender issue. Kendra and Mike are like duh, Verne's a tranny, and Boris is like NUH-UH, now that's something I Can't Do -- and then reveals what he Can Do is be a close-minded dickwad by stating Verne must not respect her body or "humanity." I don't usually sink to this level, but this gap-toothed fatty has gots to go. As a sidenote, Verne's a pretty kickass dancer. Twirl, tranny, twirl!

Just when you think tranny time is over, we continue along with Kendra, Brianne, Red and Rob asking Verne about her dating life. She reveals that she usually dates white men, and doesn't think she's "stepmom material." Actually, I think she'd do all right. I can think of a lot more "normal" women who'd do worse. Rob, who's been keeping his mouth shut, squirms when the ladies turn on him and demand to know if he's single. At first I think he's worried about Verne getting ideas, but then he grins and admits he's gay. As Kendra and Brianne shriek unintelligibly, Verne brings up the elephant in the room -- that is other than whether she tucks or chopped off the ol' frank & beans -- and asks if Rob knew he was gay when he joined the military. Rob says he did, and launches into an explanation of the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy. As Rob's explaining this and talking about his homosexuality, crazy Deon walks by several times, glaring openly. Guess gay men aren't part of that "energy of the universe" he ranted about in his interview.

"OMG!!! First dibs on being his fag hag!!!"

Okay enough of this Real World crap and onto selecting Diddy's newest slave. As we see the contestants sleeping peacefully in their beds at 5 a.m., Diddy explains his no-sleep policy to us. See, he can't sleep because he's in love and it occupies his thoughts too much. He must mean his baby mama or his kids, right? Or maybe even Aubrey O'Day. But no, he means his work. And himself. That goes without saying.

So if you want to work for Diddy, you better love his work as much as he does -- meaning your ass ain't sleeping. Diddy has "security" storm the contestants' apartment, directing them to change within 5 minutes with no talking. Everyone scurries around frantically as if these "security" members are something other than actors from the local community theater. Channelling the SS, "security" evacuates the contestants and herds them into cars to be driven to a heli-pad, where each team (still Downtown and Uptown) is given its own ride to an undisclosed location. You gotta love stealing reality TV show challenges from the Nazis.

Now this is what I call disrespecting humanity. Namely, the viewers.

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Posted in I Want to Work for Diddy by LoLo at 2:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Last Comment: chickadee2586 on Aug 16, 2008 12:20 PM.