This week on I Want to Work for Diddy, the teams hunt down international models too skinny to leave tracks and create an ad campaign for sunglasses no one who could actually afford them would buy.
"If I put my arm around a transexual, does that make me gay?"
Once again, we begin this episode back at the applicants' apartment, where Crazy Deon is napping on the couch, dreaming of inhaling the universe's light or energy or whatever it is the certifiable dream about. Mike beckons Boris away from his nightly ritual of trying to convince himself he's not secretly attracted to tranny (la)Verne, and together they sneak up on Deon and stick a pretzel rod in his open mouth. As Mike and Boris run away giggling hysterically, an irate Deon pulls the pretzel from his mouth and calls them "classy motherfuckers." You know what else is classy? Calling people motherfuckers. Deon swears a blue streak in the confessional, telling us they should "respect his professional space." So... his mouth is his professional space? Hey you gotta do what you gotta do to put food on the table. Deon then asks us if this is what Diddy would want. Oh please, if Diddy caught you napping on the job, you'd be lucky if all he sticks in there is a pretzel rod.
The next morning at breakfast, the group receives special text messages that instruct Downtown's Verne/Boris and Uptown's Poprah/Suzanne to gather their toiletries and head downstairs within 5 minutes. The pairs jump into two separate cars, where each finds an envelope containing tickets to Paris. That's pretty pimp, and for once living up to all the reverence this show's producers want us to give this personal assistant position. Also, nice pairings, producers. Way to set them up for failure in whatever they'll be doing. Boris hopes he can find a French girl to bring back (nope, you'd still be gap-toothed and fug in France), while Verne says she'd be into French dudes more if they were circumcised. Boris looks scandalized and starts praying for his foreskin to grow back.
Back at the apartment, Red's having a shit fit. Not because he's stuck in NYC while the others go to Paris -- but because Boris accidentally took his toothbrush. Hey Red, you're not in Algeria anymore. Pretty sure you can pop downstairs and get a replacement fairly easily. The bigger problem is that Boris also forgot his cell phone. Now that's a dumbass move in any situation. I feel vulnerable when I forget my phone -- like there's a flashing sign over my head reading "Please abduct me, I can't call for help." But I guess when the only calls you get are from your mommy telling you to stop playing video games and come upstairs for dinner, it's not as big of a deal and you can fall into the habit of leaving it lying around.
"Boris, honey? It's mother. I'm trying to use your computer and you left that Warcraft game on it again. Oh, and your father says you clogged the upstairs toilet again. There's a plunger under the sink for when you get back from the comic book store. Thank you, sweetums."
The pairs arrive in Paris, and Verne tells us she feels just like Carrie Bradshaw arriving in Paris for the first time and meeting up with Mikhail Baryshnikov. "Umm, except I'm black, and a transexual. And I'm with Boris." Whew, thanks for the clarification. I was starting to wonder what Sarah Jessica Parker was doing on this show. Meanwhile, Suzanne tells us she's worried about working with Poprah's loud, slow ass, although things seem to going well so far. Both pairs arrive at a hotel, where instructions are waiting.
Basically, each pair is handed a picture of a model, along with only a first name and a phone number, which I'm assuming are not the model's. Each duo has 4 hours to use this information to find its model and convince her to fly back to NYC. Once back there, each team has approximately 24 hours to create an original Sean John eyewear print ad using its model. Unlike last week, I'm really excited about this challenge. It's complicated, interesting, and seems closer some of the shit he'd really put his assistant through (sidenote: the idea of his assistants putting together his Sean John advertising campaigns really explains a lot).
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Comments (7)
LOL Lolo,
Girl, you nailed this to the wall... I don't have a chance to see this show at all, but I have no problem keeping up with it thanks to you, you're amazingly talented (I giggled like mad at "he'd be lucky if that was all that Diddy stuck in his mouth").
I agree that Deon was creepy and all, but I'm tired of dumbass straight boys like Boris who act like breathing the same air as a transexual will shrivel their dick into a clitoris, and I wish he'd gone home. Poprah, while annoying, makes great TV...
And as far as Louisa is concerned... meh, I get plenty of bitchassness from the girls over at ANTM.
love you, love your work... *huggles*
J-Mo :)
1 of 7 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 20, 2008 8:04 AM
Great recap, but I would'v e preferred to see Boris go than Deon. At least Deon looked and acted somewhat professional. Boris just looks like he's hanging out waiting for tits and ass as your recap pointed out.
I am glad you brought up that twitching thing that Red does. I noticed that a couple of times thinking I'm the only one who sees it.
I would like to see more of Louisa but I really would like to see more of Kendra. Kendra seems like she's a crazy and funny person unlike Deon who was crazy and weird.
2 of 7 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on August 20, 2008 11:20 AM
Wussup everyone I am taking this moment to give a shout out to everyone whose taken time to write about me and everyone else on the show....the good and the bad. I am sure the good blogs and comments are appreciated by all the other contestants as well as my self. I cant say however that its been easy to read a lot of the things Ive seen, but, I realize that when I put myself out there to compete on this show, I set myself up for whatever comments come my way. Its all good though, because, no matter how hateful or hurtful or straight out messed up bloggers can be, I know that the opportunity I received on this show is worth much more than having to feel bad over the writings of people who dont know the real Can Do or that sit around the computer all day running their mouth. All I want to put out to you is the thought that the time spent writing nasty grams about me and others on the show could be better spent by using that time to reach out to kids and youth in trouble. Ive come a long way in my short life because of people who have reached out to me and taken the time to help me learn that I am capable of doing great things.....regardless of what someone writes about me eating a sandwich or the fact that I like to wear my shirts untucked or left my cell phone in New York. Remember, the greater purpose of this show is to provide opportunity...not to generate a platform to rip people apart. So to all you negative bloggers out there, use your energy to make things better for everyone.and remember, sleep is forbidden.
Can Do
3 of 7 | Posted by cando | Posted on August 20, 2008 2:11 PM
Oh, silly Boris. This is all in good fun. Besides, since when do you worry about what people think? I suggest instead of spending hours scouring the internet for mentions of your name, that time could be better spent by reaching out to transexual or homosexual youth in trouble.
Love, h4b
xoxo
P.S. No one likes a bigot. Those who judge others harshly can only expect the same in return. Team laVerne 08!!
4 of 7 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on August 20, 2008 4:59 PM
Nice to here from you CanDo, but I must agree with H4B..... googling your name is not very pro-active!
LoLo... as always, your recaps are the best. Lookforward to next week!
5 of 7 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on August 20, 2008 6:33 PM
Sorry, Boris, but feel I must disagree, the greater "purpose" of this show is NOT about providing opportunity (well, except for stroking Sean Combs' overwhelming ego)... what it IS about is creating wacky drama and conflict, which is EXACTLY why the show's producers cast a transexual and a schlub like yourself and forced you to spend time together, so we can all have a chance to laugh at how much of a tool you can make of yourself... and you fell for it!
However, I must applaud your being savvy enough to realize that reality TV makes you fair game for bloggers and anyone else with an opinion and a computer, so kudos for your self-awareness... now if you could just work on that homo/trannyphobia a little...
love, J-Mo :)
xoxox
P.S. Please don't take offense at my use of the word "schlub", I actually think schlubs are quite cute and sexy... it's the "tool" part I wish you'd kick to the curb... xo -J :)
6 of 7 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 21, 2008 9:03 AM
Hey guys!
Thanks for the great comments! I'm really enjoying this show so far, and I'm glad I've got all of you to enjoy/mock it with me!
Bigjr, I agree that we need more of Kendra. I also would like to see more of Stefanie, for besides her youth, she seems to have her shit together.
And CanDo/Boris, as the others already said, the whole purpose of this site is for bloggers to "sit around the computer all day running their mouth" as you put it. We realize that regardless whether we're watching reality or scripted TV, the people on our screens are characters. So therefore when we mock the characters, we're not attacking you as a real person, but instead the character version of you presented in the show. That being said, if you're going to be offended, you probably shouldn't be Googling yourself and searching out sites like this one. I know if I ever go on reality TV, TVgasm is the last place on earth I'd go once the show airs. :)
Finally I'd like to add that I hope your ignorant comments about LaVerne were a ploy for camera time and the reaction they would stir up on the Internet. If not, perhaps learning to be more tolerant would be a better use of your time than surfing the blogs.
LoLo
7 of 7 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on August 22, 2008 12:56 PM