We begin right where we left off, with the losing Downtown team returning to the apartment following crazy Deon's elimination. Boris tells the group that instead of being pissed off they unanimously voted for him to go home, he's going to accept their criticism and learn from it. Then he turns around and tells us that he doesn't give a shit what his teammates think, but they won't know that. Very crafty, Boris. Once they see the show, perhaps the FBI will reconsider your application given your unparalleled talent for covert ops.

Almost instantly the remaining contestants get a text from Diddy, instructing them to go to diddy.com for a special message. The message is a video from Diddy himself, and they all wet themselves simultaneously. He says that he's determined to make diddy.com hugely successful, and for it be known as something other than the only place that'll play Danity Kane and Day 26 videos. As such, the challenge is for each team to make a 90-second viral video about Diddy for the website. If they're lucky, he may just make an appearance sometime soon so they can go from figuratively to literally stroking his cock.

The teams break off to begin planning. On the Uptown team, Poprah nearly turns the building into rubble when she jumps at the opportunity to be the on-camera talent. Red blinks at us in Morse code that he's not surprised. For the rest of the team, a nervous-looking Brianna accepts the producer role, Red is assigned camera operation, and Suzanne will put her Harvard degree to work as a boom mic holder. With that out of the way, they settle on the concept of what is the craziest thing someone would do to show her love for Diddy. I don't know, have his 1,242th child?

"Hell, I just agreed to do work. There's MY love for Diddy."

Meanwhile, the Downtown team immediately decides that (la)Verne should be the talent, and she should "use her trannyness" to make people laugh. Or in Boris' case, get uncomfortably aroused. Verne agrees to do it, but both she and I think it was really weird and slightly offensive the way her team handled that. They head off to interview several of Diddy's former assistants, which seems to go well at first until Mike interrupts interviewer Verne with instructions to "tranny it up" more. She's offended, the interviewees are confused and scared, and the whole thing is a fucking mess.

Not like the Uptown team is doing much better. First, camera-guy Red nearly forgets to bring the camera with him -- and then he can't figure out how to get it to work while en route to their first location. Poprah tries to restrain herself for about, oh, 5 seconds before lunging over the backseat and pointing out he doesn't have a tape in there. Whoopsie. For someone who secretly tapes girls as much as I bet Red does, I'm surprised by this oversight. The next challenge for Red is setting up the tripod, and Poprah again butts in, practically ripping it from his hands. His eyes furiously communicate a series of dashes and dots. I'm no Morse code expert, but I'm pretty sure that was just "Fuck you, Poprah."

Once the camera is finally on the tripod, presumably with a tape inside, the Uptown team begins interviewing another one of Diddy's former assistants. They ask him to do a Diddy impression, simply because he's the same race and gender as the real thing. If that's the only requirement for a good impression, it's time to take my Hilary Clinton on the road. Not only is the impression terrible, but Red's still a disaster, interrupting and having technical difficulties. Brianna, meanwhile, stays true to her no-work policy and stands around like a deer in headlights.

Is he doing Diddy or Carlton from "Fresh Prince"?

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Posted in I Want to Work for Diddy by LoLo at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: blahblah on Sep 15, 2008 03:13 PM.