This week on I Want To Work for Diddy, the teams have to deal with Diddy's tyrant of a mother as well as his menagerie of children, before treating us to the most bizarre and hilarious elimination ceremony yet.
"Puff Daddy... P Diddy... Sean Combs.... can someone please tell me who this Walk of Fame star is actually freakin' for?!"
Having found out at last week's elimination ceremony that they get to steal away one of the other team's members, Uptown's Poprah, Red and Suzanne discuss which Downtown person they want. While Mike's loud shouting/lack of substance combo has convinced Red and Suzanne that he's the best candidate, Poprah pushes for (la)Verne, arguing that she'll be smart, creative, and an over-all great team member -- yet not a threat because there's no way in hell Diddy would hire a tranny. I'm looking forward to that logic coming around and biting her in the ass, because there's no way in hell Diddy's going to hire someone morbidly obese, either.
Back at the apartment, the teams receive texts from Diddy instructing them to pack for Los Angeles. Once there, the teams go out to meet Capricorn and Norma, who somehow got forced into appearing on this show again after weeks of hiding. Capricorn explains that Diddy's getting a star on the Walk of Fame the next day, and it's their job to keep his mother and his baby momma happy. Specifically, each team will work with one of the women and have to prepare a hospitality suite, pick a red carpet outfit, and purchase the lady's gift for Diddy. Uptown's got Mama Combs and Downtown's got the baby momma, Kim. Diddy tells us to trust him that this is going to be interesting -- he's not the high maintenance one in the family.
Time to determine who's leaving Downtown and joining Uptown. And it's.... Verne, as Poprah gets her way as usual! Verne is surprised and slightly uneasy, while Stefanie thinks there must be some kind of mistake because HELLO they had the opportunity to work with Princess Stef and didn't take it! Boris's expression suggests relief, but we all know he's crying a river inside.
"<Sniff> Fare-thee-well, my one true lo--- Err, ahem... Smell ya later you nasty-ass tranny bitch!"
The Uptown team hops in their van and elects Red the leader under Poprah's insistence. As she's done before, Poprah's plan is sit back and watch Red dig his own grave while she merely asks him if he wants a bigger shovel. Turning to their list of tasks, Poprah stresses to the team the importance of keeping Mama Combs happy on this momentous occasion, as she takes off her sunglasses and tries to get her crusty, blackened heart to well up a few tears. Watching this in horror, Verne frantically signals to production that she'd rather be sitting with Boris and listening him call her a Godless circus freak than deal with this shit.
The Downtown team arrives at the hospitality suite they're setting up for baby momma Kim, and Mike gets on the phone with a bakery to order some red velvet cupcakes. The bakery lady says they can't do it today and Mike's like, oh well thanks anyway! and hangs up. Boris is sitting nearby and gives Mike a disgusted look before asking for the bakery's number. If there's one thing Boris knows, it's how to order food. He calls the bakery up again and mentions the one little detail that Mike forgot -- that these are for Diddy and not some random schlub off the street! The bakery lady pees her pants and promises the cupcakes will be delivered ASAP while Mike scratches his head and admits he didn't think of doing the name-drop thing. Worst. Personal. Assistant. Ever. In general, Boris seems to be a rockstar so far on this challenge, while Mike's sitting around with his thumb up his ass, looking confused. Stefanie tells us that Mike may be feeling insecure. What he should be feeling is like a fucking idiot, but insecure works too.
"So that's 1 dozen for Diddy, and 12 dozen for me, lady."
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Comments (6)
LoLo, honey, you are a doll... I, too, am dealing with double-show duty, and it's a bit of a struggle, so I know what you're going thru. This was a great one, though, and THANK you for including the Boris/CanDo conversation, that was the best thing I've read all morning! I think we must have scared him off from commenting after his last post a few weeks back. You are lovely and loved, I admire you greatly...
love, hugs & kisses,
xoxoxox
J-Mo :)
1 of 6 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 8, 2008 9:15 AM
This recap was HILARIOUS! The screencaps were right on and the comment about being in heat was a classic.
I was rather suprised that the Downtown team lost. Maybe there was a lot that we did not see. If someone had to go, I would suggest Boris. He annoys me to no end. I was waiting on him to accuse Verne of trying to seduce him while yelling out Tranny It Up.....now that would have been hilarious/true.
2 of 6 | Posted by Peter Pan | Posted on September 8, 2008 10:04 AM
Great job, LoLo! This was worth waiting for!
I have a question: What did the downtown team get as a gift from Kim? I know the other team got a crystal star from Mama Combs, but did they ever show the other gift? Just curious!
Also, Stefanie needs to leave soon...so boring and she doesn't seem to participate much.
3 of 6 | Posted by fierytopaz | Posted on September 8, 2008 6:21 PM
I was not suprised that Downtown lost. They had trouble keeping track of her kids, which are the most important thing to a mother.
I am glad they did not eliminate anyone, because I think Kendra would have gone. I felt sorry for her, when Boris attacked her.
4 of 6 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on September 9, 2008 1:36 PM
LoLo--thanks for the warm welcome!!! i adore your top chef recaps, and partially because i'm not the top chef recapper, and partially because i wanted a level of anonymity for auditiongasm (in case i sucked), i decided to be anonymous and then come up with a new handle. but i have old friends and favorites (like yourself) and wanted to make sure you all knew where i came from (i.e. inspired by your genius!)
thanks again!
5 of 6 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 9, 2008 9:46 PM
Hilarious recap!
I was so turned off by Boris! What a bitch!!!
I am also surprised the downtown team lost. They put far more work into it than the uptown team did.
What I really wanna know though is whether 'what's his name' is looking for a great assistant or if this is just pure entertainment. Because if Kendra had gone home leaving can't do shit Boris, I would have my question answered and been able to confirm that the show is a joke!!!
6 of 6 | Posted by nefe | Posted on September 9, 2008 11:52 PM