The next morning, three hours before the ceremony, Stefanie and Kendra go back out to finally get a gift from Kim, while Boris and Mike are on babysitting duty, and need to get Diddy's three boys up and ready for the ceremony. This is harder than it sounds as none of the kids want to move, and the oldest one whines that he's hungry in a way he really should be embarrassed over. Well now we know exactly where he got that from. Mike winds up taking both a McDonalds and a Starbucks order from the kids and their handlers, while Boris stands in the corner and fiddles with his fully-charged phone (thanks to Kendra). Do these two just trade off sucking? Hmm that didn't come out right...
You're lucky you have money, kid, because damn are you a little bitch.
At this point, one of Diddy's kids realizes he has someone else's suitcase, so Boris calls the girls and asks them to go shopping for clothes for that kid. With only a little more than an hour left, the girls agree to do it because there's really no other choice. Meanwhile, the Uptown team isn't doing much better as Mama Combs determines her breakfast is not in fact southern at all, and then declares they could never work for Diddy. Well no shit, lady, we all could have told you that from minute one. She's also pissed that the person delivering her jewelry is running late, and no one's arranged for her security detail. Oh lady, who the hell knows who you are, let alone cares enough to try anything? She is such a pain in the ass. Eventually the jewelry chick shows up and Poprah arranges for them to go to the ceremony with Kim's entourage and security people, but by this point Mama Combs is snarling at them. I have a feeling Poprah's going home tonight. I know I've said that before, but so far it looks like her team's losing, and we've barely seen any of her teammates...
I don't really have a logical place to work this in, but here's the best exchange of the episode and possibly the series thus far:
Random entourage dude: What's your name?
Boris: Boris, but you can call me CanDo though if you'd like!
Dude (deadpanned): I'm going to call you Boris
Boris (disappointed): ....All right.
At the ceremony, everyone seems to enjoy themselves while the fangirls go crazy with the shrieking and screaming. Awesome. Diddy gives some speech, but frankly I don't bother to listen. I do note though that his star says "Sean Diddy Combs" on it. Looks like he's finally locked into a goddamn nickname this time.
"Hey you! Over there! Aren't my kids cute? Wanna give birth to another one?"
Later that night, it's time for the competitors to get dressed up for a nice dinner out, where they'll also hear the results. Poprah decides a gray choir robe is the perfect choice. Suzanne's sick so she's staying home, and I have to admit that as annoying as he is, Red has a nice body. If a girl ever gets past the eye-twitching thing long enough to see him shirtless, he'd probably do well with the ladies. Assuming he also didn't speak.
While the contestants go to dinner, Capricorn and Norma sit down with Kim and Mama Combs for team evaluations. Kim tells Capricorn that while the Downtown team started off well, things fell apart when they couldn't find her walking checks, I mean children. She seems to blame Kendra more than Stefanie for that. She also criticizes the team's lack of organization, and the way all 4 team members repeatedly were in her face, rather than delegating one person to be the sole communicator with her. However, Kim does say that once the kids were all located, the team did a good job dealing with all of them. Mama Combs is not nearly as tactful. She tells Norma (who needs to put on a little makeup before going on camera, yeesh) that while she liked the fact she only had to deal with one person, Poprah, instead of all 4 team members, Poprah just wasn't good enough.
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Comments (6)
LoLo, honey, you are a doll... I, too, am dealing with double-show duty, and it's a bit of a struggle, so I know what you're going thru. This was a great one, though, and THANK you for including the Boris/CanDo conversation, that was the best thing I've read all morning! I think we must have scared him off from commenting after his last post a few weeks back. You are lovely and loved, I admire you greatly...
love, hugs & kisses,
xoxoxox
J-Mo :)
1 of 6 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 8, 2008 9:15 AM
This recap was HILARIOUS! The screencaps were right on and the comment about being in heat was a classic.
I was rather suprised that the Downtown team lost. Maybe there was a lot that we did not see. If someone had to go, I would suggest Boris. He annoys me to no end. I was waiting on him to accuse Verne of trying to seduce him while yelling out Tranny It Up.....now that would have been hilarious/true.
2 of 6 | Posted by Peter Pan | Posted on September 8, 2008 10:04 AM
Great job, LoLo! This was worth waiting for!
I have a question: What did the downtown team get as a gift from Kim? I know the other team got a crystal star from Mama Combs, but did they ever show the other gift? Just curious!
Also, Stefanie needs to leave soon...so boring and she doesn't seem to participate much.
3 of 6 | Posted by fierytopaz | Posted on September 8, 2008 6:21 PM
I was not suprised that Downtown lost. They had trouble keeping track of her kids, which are the most important thing to a mother.
I am glad they did not eliminate anyone, because I think Kendra would have gone. I felt sorry for her, when Boris attacked her.
4 of 6 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on September 9, 2008 1:36 PM
LoLo--thanks for the warm welcome!!! i adore your top chef recaps, and partially because i'm not the top chef recapper, and partially because i wanted a level of anonymity for auditiongasm (in case i sucked), i decided to be anonymous and then come up with a new handle. but i have old friends and favorites (like yourself) and wanted to make sure you all knew where i came from (i.e. inspired by your genius!)
thanks again!
5 of 6 | Posted by AuJew | Posted on September 9, 2008 9:46 PM
Hilarious recap!
I was so turned off by Boris! What a bitch!!!
I am also surprised the downtown team lost. They put far more work into it than the uptown team did.
What I really wanna know though is whether 'what's his name' is looking for a great assistant or if this is just pure entertainment. Because if Kendra had gone home leaving can't do shit Boris, I would have my question answered and been able to confirm that the show is a joke!!!
6 of 6 | Posted by nefe | Posted on September 9, 2008 11:52 PM