This week on I Want to Work for Diddy, Boris loses his title as the show's sole bigot, Mike's an idiot savant with the ladies, and we learn why the morbidly obese gain the weight.
"Gah... blonde.... boobies..."
Doing our country proud, boys.
We open immediately after last week's ridiculous elimination ceremony, with the entire Downtown team returning to their LA apartment after no one was eliminated. The Uptown team is shocked, but warm and welcoming -- except Poprah, natch, who complains that it's not fair. I'd probably be a little annoyed too, but I wouldn't be stupid and/or obnoxious enough to announce it to the whole room. Well, her opinions lead to her and Mike getting into some ridiculous screaming match that I can barely understand. Kendra then jumps in and tells Poprah that no one really gives a shit what she thinks, so she should keep her big trap shut. Careful, Kendra. Poprah could use that big trap to chew you up and spit you out in about 2 bites.
Once back in NYC, the teams find two boxes waiting for them on the kitchen table. Inside are bottles of Diddy's Unforgivable Woman perfume and instructions for them to meet at Estee Lauder HQ. Unforgivable Woman doesn't strike me as the best name choice for perfume. "OMG what is that smell? It's like corpse juice. Is that YOU? Damn that's unforgivable, woman!!" See what I mean?
Anyway, so the teams head down to Estee Lauder where they're told today's task is to go to Sephora and try to sell as many bottles of corpse juice as possible. They also can design a t-shirt to hand out along with the perfume. You know, since so many women buying an expensive scent also like to wear tacky logo-branded t-shirts. Great marketing strat. Diddy and his former assistants explain to us that the point of this challenge is for the contestants to learn how to market and hustle for Diddy. Liars. The point of this challenge is to give Diddy a free, 60-minute perfume commercial. The teams are sent off to begin the challenge with one last hint -- in the cosmetics/beauty industry, sex sells. You know what also sells? Products that don't carry the aroma of death.
"Sex sells? Yeah I better just wait this one out in the van."
The Downtown team jumps in their van and begins planning the t-shirt. Stefanie warns them that it needs to be classy, and Mike immediately suggests a baby-tee with "Now smell this!" across the taa-taas. She frowns and asks what that has to do with the perfume, and Mike responds, "Women, they always think their coochies smell good, so 'now smell this' is kinda ill, keep it funky!" Kendra and Stefanie crack up while I shake my head in amazement. They should pull over and put him in the short van where he belongs. And Mike, darling, never use the words "coochie" and "funky" in the same sentence if you want to get laid again.
The Uptown team's also in the van, once again fighting about the leader situation. Poprah tries to make Red the leader for the second week in a row, annoyed that her efforts to get rid of him last week didn't work. He doesn't want to be the leader again, and they bicker until (la)Verne astutely notes that it seems this "leader" thing is just an attempt to put all the blame on one person should they lose. More bitching ensues, and I'm not sure what's decided and I am sure I don't care.
The teams arrive at Sephora and scope out their retail space while chatting with a Sephora employee who needs to stop trying to use all 1,482 makeup products on her face at once. Mike tells us that with Kendra and Stefanie on the Downtown team, they have a huge advantage in the "sex sells" department. That's true but a bit douchey of him to note like that. Meanwhile, the Uptown team continues squabbling nonsensically, this time over how to display the perfume, posters, and other propaganda around their retail space. The highlights of which are Poprah and Red fighting over whether the camera battery is running low ("Yes it is!" "No it's not!" "Yes it is!" "No it's not!") and Poprah and Suzanne fighting over how many shelves are on a shelving unit ("5!" "6!" "5!" "6!"). God I wish I was making that shit up.
"Umm, I went to Harvard, okay? I think I can count to 5. 1-2-3-4-5. Not 6. Did you learn that in state school?"
« Real World Road Rules Challenge: The Island: And we're back! | Main | Making the Band: Let's Do This Shit »
Comments (3)
No Verne is gone, I was really rooting for her. Maybe they should just have Capricorn vote someone off by herself, she would've defiantely voted out Poprah.
Now I have to watch somemore of Poprah's annoying big ass next week.
I immediately called bs when Poprah said she got big so she could keep the men away. Yeah, I'm sure that's why women become big, just so they can stop getting attention form guys. I hate to skinny and pretty like Stephanie and Kendra, that would really suck.
Anyway, with Verne my favorite gone, I will place my money on either Mike or Stephanie winning. They seem to have it together over everybody. I would say Kendra too, but it looks like she's beating people up next week.
1 of 3 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on September 15, 2008 12:58 AM
Dammitall! They got rid of LaVerne??!?! azxs mkln cdvf njbh aqsw lpko defr jihu- Ok, now that I'm done pounding the hell out of my keyboard, what the FUCK?!? I dunno, it just seems like a really stupid challange, a personal assistant is not responsible for direct sales of product, are they? Isn't that why you hire, like, a marketing team? And have the stuff actually stocked in a store?? You know, where they already have salespeople whose job it is to, you know.. sell stuff??!? It just seems to me like this was designed to get rid of LaVerne (although I would have thought New Yorkers were more cosmopolitan than that, don't tell me your average CityDweller has never seen a tranny before!). It reeks of exploitation (much like ANTM's inclusion of Isis this season). Oh well, I guess anything's cool as long as Diddy gets his massive ego stroked. Too bad he couldn't sink some of that energy into putting out, you know, a good album...
Love to you, LoLo, you bring me joy, as always...
xoxoxox
love, J-Mo :)
2 of 3 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 15, 2008 11:03 AM
I was SO sad to see Laverne go!!! What were they thinking??? Poprah's been on the chopping block so many times (I think every time her time lost)!
Although I do think it would have been a good idea for Laverne to be a living mannequin in the window. I know it's exploitation, but Kendra and Stefanie were being exploited too, but they embraced it instead of taking offense. It would have brought a crowd to the Sephora window and then the team could make more sales.
I do wish Laverne had stayed on...she could have made it to the top. Good luck to you, Laverne! You're smart and sweet and I really hope we see you again in some other show!!!
3 of 3 | Posted by fierytopaz | Posted on September 15, 2008 12:44 PM