By this point, Derek of the DFL has begun talking, and I hope you've noticed what I did in the preview special. This kid looks and sounds like the gay version of Justin Timberlake (not like that's very distinguishable from the actual JT). Anyway, Derek explains he has a messenger bag and Blackberry for each team member, and Capricorn begins calling out the Downtown team: Smooth stutterer Mike, Newpsie Stefanie, Bumblebee Kendra, Crazy Deon, Transgendered Laverne (who I must note is more attractive than many of the "true" women here), and "Can Do" Boris.
Norma lists off the members of the Uptown team, after reminding them that there are 6 places left but 7 people still waiting (including Brianna and Boobette). Military Rob is called first, followed by Boobette, Harvard Suzanne, Immigrant Red, and Lazy Brianna. Wow, okay. That leaves Poprah and Dancing Andrew. I really hope it's Andrew leaving, because I think Poprah can entertain me for a few episodes before I want to punch her in the face (Edit after watching entire episode: I was wrong about that. Very, very wrong). Capricorn rips into them both a bit for being unprofessional jackasses, but finally calls Poprah as the final team member. Andrew is escorted off the premises by two security guards, telling us he really blew it but he just can't help but stop pop and drop it.
The first scene of Andrew's upcoming music video: "The Interview Slide"
Back inside, the DFL begins describing the first challenge -- The Art of Multitasking. This prompts a series of quick clips of Diddy and former assistants stressing the importance of multitasking, or you're "donezo" says Capricorn. Maybe she should multitask in some time to catch up on the current lingo. Anyway here's the task: each team has 24 hours to accomplish a series of 50 tasks throughout the city. Two team members will stay in the building and work dispatch, while the other 4 must stick together at all times while completing the tasks. On top of that, if a special red Blackberry rings with a task, that task must be completed immediately or 2 completed tasks on the list will be discredited.
The teams rush off, each with $2,000 to use in accomplishing the tasks. Stefanie tells us this is totally serious because this is "Diddy's dough", and unlike with Daddy, you can't bat your eyes and pout if you throw it all away on a new Burberry bag. Laverne wisely tells her team to take into account what time of day things will be opened and closed, while her Downtown team members hang a gigantic map of New York and seem to work well together.
Over on the Uptown team, Poprah is busy spouting off meaningless business cliches while Suzanne clutches her Harvard pedigree to her chest and looks like her head's going to explode. The fact that Poprah is bossy and screams over anyone who dares voice another opinion isn't helping much either. Bet the Uptown team would rather be dealing with Andrew doing the jitterbug in the corner about now....
The Downtown team hits the streets and begins accomplishing the tasks, such as getting a video of a chunky cheerleader doing a Diddy cheer and picking up a longboard for one of Diddy's brood. The Uptown team is also trying to get started, but Poprah's at the helm of dispatch and giving confusing instructions followed by screaming fits over their insubordination when they ask for clarification. Not very Pope or Oprah like, dear. Luckily, Rob is one of the four out on the street, and appears to be holding his team together by actually giving calm, logical instructions.
And they say romance is dead.
The Downtown team stumbles a bit when asked to get a 7-person food order for some of Diddy's people from a restaurant across town. Dispatchers Kendra and Stefanie tell Deon to make the most of it and complete some other tasks while across town, but he whines into the phone and seems generally confused. The girls tell him to suck it up and marvel over Deon's inability to multitask in a challenge about multitasking. It makes things pretty difficult, kinda like entering a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. But at least this gives the girls an chance to bond over his suckitude.
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Comments (7)
Great recap!
There is no way on God's green Earth that I would ever would for, near or around Diddy. He is soooooo arrogant!! I can't stand that about him. Yes, he's done well, but his record label, Bad Boy, is TERRIBLE. Any artist on there might as well give up any dreams of making it big or even coming out with a cd if you're not Danity Kane, Day 26 or Cassie. Who, themselves are barely, if at all, promoted after their shows.
My dislike for Diddy is strong and I don't know if I'm going to be able to watch Diddy make all these people his bitch just because he thinks he can. We'll see.
1 of 7 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on August 5, 2008 5:28 AM
Great recapping, thanks, but I can't imagine the circumstances that would entice me to watch this show. It sounded as bad in the recap as it did in the commercials. And way too close to the reality of how job seekers are abused in the real world. (maybe too MUCH reality TV?)
2 of 7 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 5, 2008 7:27 AM
I know it's only been one episode, but I love this show and I love that your recapping it. This show is not as it bad as it seems.
Yes, Diddy is a ego maniac as if we didn't know this before and yes he treats these people like shit, but come on now this is a good show.
Anyway, I knew Kim aka "Poprah" was going to stay, she's good tv, why is it the people that I hate are always so entertaining?
3 of 7 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on August 5, 2008 11:09 AM
I think Poprah chose the name because she thinks of herself as a "Poor Oprah"... Po-prah. Kinda like how she's showed us that she's not ignorant, just "ignant." She blasted her teammates for being "unprofessional" and "amateurs" compared to her. Ummm...you're on the show too, honey. Do you think you're really the ONE professional they chose out of a field of amateurs? Or maybe you're there because you lack the people skills to even realize your ignant ass is less professional than a transgender woman and a fat dude in an airburshed t-shirt?!?! Dumbass.
I think I have a new favorite villian. *Cathartic smile*
4 of 7 | Posted by MorbidCuriosity | Posted on August 5, 2008 12:38 PM
This show is like a train wreck, can't stand watching it, but can't not watch it. Most of the people except Poprah, Rob the Iraq Vet, Mike the banker won't make it because they don't have the tough skin. Diddy may be rich and talented, but he definitely has no respect for the people who work for him. They are using him just as much as he uses them like Kleenex.
5 of 7 | Posted by likris | Posted on August 5, 2008 2:23 PM
Boris and his "CAN DO" T-shirt are kinda cute. I think I'd like to fuck him in half. Woof! I already know he's not gonna be able to keep up with being Diddy's personal assistant because that requires staying awake and being alert, so Boris-baby, call me when you get axed and we'll make a day of it... Besides, you might NEED some lovin' when Diddy gets done with you..
Great recap LoLo, I've missed you since "Top Chef" ended!
love, J-Mo :)
6 of 7 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 7, 2008 8:42 AM
Thanks for the recap. I actually enjoyed the show. Diddy used to work my LAST nerve, but I have a newfound respect for him. Granted, I agree with most of the comments posted, I still respect the fact that he is a Black man and he continues to excel in areas previously prohibited for Blacks. It says something to have reality shows on two different networks. Finally, on an episode of Oprah, several months ago, she had Diddy and the three finalist on the show. He announced who won. I'm not going to spoil it, but did anyone else see it?
7 of 7 | Posted by mspattie | Posted on August 8, 2008 4:04 AM