Just then, the Downtown team's Blackberry rings, and Kendra and Stefanie stare at it in horror like busty coeds in a slasher flick. Turns out Diddy wants his car washed and cleaned NOW, and doesn't give a shit that the people at the recording studio are going to have to wait for their chicken and waffles. Mike somehow smooth-talks the group (with lots of stuttering I'm sure) into going on foot to Diddy's car rather than take their van, and they run down the street in a panic. The best part is watching Laverne run, as words cannot describe it. My best attempt is to say it looks like she has explosive diarrhea and is trying to get to the toilet as fast as she can, but is forced to take small steps to make sure nothing leaks out along the way. It's hilarious.
The Uptown team gets their own Blackberry message, with the same task. Dispatchers Brianne and Poprah squabble a bit on whether to contact their team, and when Poprah finally does, she passive-aggressively tells them that "Brianne thinks you guys should go wash the car." Brianne shouts that damn right she does think that (evidently she has no problem with work as long as it's not her ass doing it), and next thing you know she and Poprah are in a screaming fight while the team listens on the other end of the line. Kind of like every time I call my parents.
Well despite the chaos, both teams arrive at two different cars and get to work. However, not only do the teams need to clean the cars inside and out, but they also need to restock them with things Diddy needs -- gum, mints, vodka (in the car?! nice message, Diddy), child support checks, etc. Laverne tries to explain to the guy monitoring the cleaning that it'll be hard to get the booze this time of night, but he warns her that Diddy doesn't give a shit and they better get it done. Meanwhile, Deon's still whining about having to multitask, sounding like he's about to cry as he explains to the dispatchers that the meanie poopoo head car guy gave them other tasks too! Kendra isn't having any of it and basically calls him a big pussy and hangs up. I think I like her.
Laverne, baby, regardless of what's going on below the belt, you can no longer sit like that.
Sunrise comes, and everyone's starting to drag ass. All-nighters suck, but you people need to rally. In an interview segment, Diddy recounts a time one of his assistants told him he was tired. To which Diddy replied, "And what rhymes with tired?" and then giggles. See, it's shit like that that entertains me about this man. What a jackass.
At 7:15 another Blackberry text comes in, directing the teams to go to the Sean Jean store at 8:45 and help with the mannequin display. The teams have to strip and redress the mannequins by the store's opening at 9. Suzanne, having replaced Brianne at Uptown dispatch with Poprah, squabbles with Red about picking up some underwear while they're at the store. Thankfully they're talking about another one of the tasks and not anything to do with incontinence or monthly flows. As ridiculous as their argument is, they're still better off than the Downtown team -- which completely missed the text. They've also been playing musical chairs with the dispatchers, and Mike tells us that it's Deon's fault the team missed the texts. He was probably too busy marveling over the energy of the universe to be bothered by a mere text message.
Glad to see you're using that money you're making to support your family on Armani glasses.
On the street, Boobette is starting to complain about her stiletto heels and all the walking they've been doing. As a woman I totally sympathize with the painful feet, but that's just another reason to not dress like a whore for a job interview, toots. Boobette swaps places with Poprah, who is not too happy about leaving her cushy desk job and heading out onto the street. Poprah's tries to argue that she's familiar with the team's progress and Boobette isn't, but I really don't think crossing items off a list is that challenging, not to mention they've already swapped out 1 dispatcher already. Besides, dragging a crippled team member around would probably slow them down more than a switch at dispatch. In other words, get your lazy ass up, Poprah.
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Comments (7)
Great recap!
There is no way on God's green Earth that I would ever would for, near or around Diddy. He is soooooo arrogant!! I can't stand that about him. Yes, he's done well, but his record label, Bad Boy, is TERRIBLE. Any artist on there might as well give up any dreams of making it big or even coming out with a cd if you're not Danity Kane, Day 26 or Cassie. Who, themselves are barely, if at all, promoted after their shows.
My dislike for Diddy is strong and I don't know if I'm going to be able to watch Diddy make all these people his bitch just because he thinks he can. We'll see.
1 of 7 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on August 5, 2008 5:28 AM
Great recapping, thanks, but I can't imagine the circumstances that would entice me to watch this show. It sounded as bad in the recap as it did in the commercials. And way too close to the reality of how job seekers are abused in the real world. (maybe too MUCH reality TV?)
2 of 7 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 5, 2008 7:27 AM
I know it's only been one episode, but I love this show and I love that your recapping it. This show is not as it bad as it seems.
Yes, Diddy is a ego maniac as if we didn't know this before and yes he treats these people like shit, but come on now this is a good show.
Anyway, I knew Kim aka "Poprah" was going to stay, she's good tv, why is it the people that I hate are always so entertaining?
3 of 7 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on August 5, 2008 11:09 AM
I think Poprah chose the name because she thinks of herself as a "Poor Oprah"... Po-prah. Kinda like how she's showed us that she's not ignorant, just "ignant." She blasted her teammates for being "unprofessional" and "amateurs" compared to her. Ummm...you're on the show too, honey. Do you think you're really the ONE professional they chose out of a field of amateurs? Or maybe you're there because you lack the people skills to even realize your ignant ass is less professional than a transgender woman and a fat dude in an airburshed t-shirt?!?! Dumbass.
I think I have a new favorite villian. *Cathartic smile*
4 of 7 | Posted by MorbidCuriosity | Posted on August 5, 2008 12:38 PM
This show is like a train wreck, can't stand watching it, but can't not watch it. Most of the people except Poprah, Rob the Iraq Vet, Mike the banker won't make it because they don't have the tough skin. Diddy may be rich and talented, but he definitely has no respect for the people who work for him. They are using him just as much as he uses them like Kleenex.
5 of 7 | Posted by likris | Posted on August 5, 2008 2:23 PM
Boris and his "CAN DO" T-shirt are kinda cute. I think I'd like to fuck him in half. Woof! I already know he's not gonna be able to keep up with being Diddy's personal assistant because that requires staying awake and being alert, so Boris-baby, call me when you get axed and we'll make a day of it... Besides, you might NEED some lovin' when Diddy gets done with you..
Great recap LoLo, I've missed you since "Top Chef" ended!
love, J-Mo :)
6 of 7 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 7, 2008 8:42 AM
Thanks for the recap. I actually enjoyed the show. Diddy used to work my LAST nerve, but I have a newfound respect for him. Granted, I agree with most of the comments posted, I still respect the fact that he is a Black man and he continues to excel in areas previously prohibited for Blacks. It says something to have reality shows on two different networks. Finally, on an episode of Oprah, several months ago, she had Diddy and the three finalist on the show. He announced who won. I'm not going to spoil it, but did anyone else see it?
7 of 7 | Posted by mspattie | Posted on August 8, 2008 4:04 AM