With two hours left, the Uptown team has accomplished 26 tasks and the Downtown team only has 23. Mike continues to dazzle us with his smooth-talking skills as he offends local New Yorkers by assuming they're employees of grocery stores and asking where he can find the applesauce. I'm sure there's footage of him asking obese women when they're due on the cutting room floor. Also causing trouble is Poprah, who gets lost with Red and wheezes for him to slow down, despite the fact he was already walking while the other team was jogging (including Boris, who is out-of-shape as well).
And this is the task that would have me running and screaming.
Time is just about up, and the two teams head back to the offices. Once there, the two teams go over the shit they've collected to determine how many tasks they completed. Disorganization is rampant, as team members dig through purses for lost receipts and realize they're missing the required number of items to fulfill certain tasks -- and therefore they don't count. Diddy didn't ask for 14 pairs of socks. He asked for 15 pairs, you miserable waste of a human being.
The DFL shows up and orders everyone to take their seats. Norma warns them this is what her first days as Diddy's assistant were really like, and announces the Downtown team completed 31 tasks after taking into account a 2-task reduction for failing to answer a Blackberry message. As for the Uptown team, they completed all the Blackberry messages but were a tad lazier on the street -- or held up by Poprah's gasps for air and Boobette's blood-filled stilettos -- and finished with a total of 31 tasks. So it's a tie! Looks like that 15th pair of socks was important after all! But the tie needs to be broken, and since the Uptown team is missing over $100 worth of receipts, the Downtown team is the winner of the challenge!
"But I went to HARVARD!"
The Uptown team is stunned and angry, and Suzanne wastes no time blaming Boobette as their accountant who assured them they had all the receipts. I'm not sure if that means she lost the receipts -- which would be her fault -- or merely counted them back at the office and incorrectly thought they were all there -- which would be her stupidity but not fault. The DFL gives the Downtown team some watches as their reward, and announces the Uptown team will be going to tribal council the next day and voting off one of their own.
The next morning, having moved into their ridiculously awesome apartment, the Uptown team members need to start deciding who to vote off. Poprah calls a team meeting to discuss it, and presumably try to save her own ass. Because it's Poprah, the meeting quickly disintegrates into a screaming fight between her, Brianne and Suzanne while the others look on in disgust. Nice work, Poprah. It's always a good idea to get in a shouting match with the group of people who will decide in a few hours whether you should go home. Why not just slap them around for good measure. I'm pretty sure you could beat all their asses.
Time for elimination. The Uptown team heads into a meeting with the DFL to discuss why they lost, and Boobette is called on first. She blames poor communication, calls out Poprah as being the cause, and is quickly backed up by the rest of the team. Poprah loudly insists the team actually lost because of 3 reasons -- accounting by Boobette, the missing 15th pair of socks because of Suzanne, and the team getting lost because of Red. Instead of arguing back that miscounting is not the same as losing or that Poprah was slow and just as lost as Red was, her teammates mostly fail to challenge any of her accusations. Amused, Capricorn points this out, but Poprah quickly cuts off any chance for the team to respond by stating that she's used to being a professional and her teammates clearly aren't. After that comment, Suzanne's going to be constipated for a month.
Oh so that's what your face looks like. Somehow I didn't notice it before...
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Comments (7)
Great recap!
There is no way on God's green Earth that I would ever would for, near or around Diddy. He is soooooo arrogant!! I can't stand that about him. Yes, he's done well, but his record label, Bad Boy, is TERRIBLE. Any artist on there might as well give up any dreams of making it big or even coming out with a cd if you're not Danity Kane, Day 26 or Cassie. Who, themselves are barely, if at all, promoted after their shows.
My dislike for Diddy is strong and I don't know if I'm going to be able to watch Diddy make all these people his bitch just because he thinks he can. We'll see.
1 of 7 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on August 5, 2008 5:28 AM
Great recapping, thanks, but I can't imagine the circumstances that would entice me to watch this show. It sounded as bad in the recap as it did in the commercials. And way too close to the reality of how job seekers are abused in the real world. (maybe too MUCH reality TV?)
2 of 7 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on August 5, 2008 7:27 AM
I know it's only been one episode, but I love this show and I love that your recapping it. This show is not as it bad as it seems.
Yes, Diddy is a ego maniac as if we didn't know this before and yes he treats these people like shit, but come on now this is a good show.
Anyway, I knew Kim aka "Poprah" was going to stay, she's good tv, why is it the people that I hate are always so entertaining?
3 of 7 | Posted by bigjr6633 | Posted on August 5, 2008 11:09 AM
I think Poprah chose the name because she thinks of herself as a "Poor Oprah"... Po-prah. Kinda like how she's showed us that she's not ignorant, just "ignant." She blasted her teammates for being "unprofessional" and "amateurs" compared to her. Ummm...you're on the show too, honey. Do you think you're really the ONE professional they chose out of a field of amateurs? Or maybe you're there because you lack the people skills to even realize your ignant ass is less professional than a transgender woman and a fat dude in an airburshed t-shirt?!?! Dumbass.
I think I have a new favorite villian. *Cathartic smile*
4 of 7 | Posted by MorbidCuriosity | Posted on August 5, 2008 12:38 PM
This show is like a train wreck, can't stand watching it, but can't not watch it. Most of the people except Poprah, Rob the Iraq Vet, Mike the banker won't make it because they don't have the tough skin. Diddy may be rich and talented, but he definitely has no respect for the people who work for him. They are using him just as much as he uses them like Kleenex.
5 of 7 | Posted by likris | Posted on August 5, 2008 2:23 PM
Boris and his "CAN DO" T-shirt are kinda cute. I think I'd like to fuck him in half. Woof! I already know he's not gonna be able to keep up with being Diddy's personal assistant because that requires staying awake and being alert, so Boris-baby, call me when you get axed and we'll make a day of it... Besides, you might NEED some lovin' when Diddy gets done with you..
Great recap LoLo, I've missed you since "Top Chef" ended!
love, J-Mo :)
6 of 7 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 7, 2008 8:42 AM
Thanks for the recap. I actually enjoyed the show. Diddy used to work my LAST nerve, but I have a newfound respect for him. Granted, I agree with most of the comments posted, I still respect the fact that he is a Black man and he continues to excel in areas previously prohibited for Blacks. It says something to have reality shows on two different networks. Finally, on an episode of Oprah, several months ago, she had Diddy and the three finalist on the show. He announced who won. I'm not going to spoil it, but did anyone else see it?
7 of 7 | Posted by mspattie | Posted on August 8, 2008 4:04 AM