They go around the table and yap about how important winning is to each of them. LaBamba says it's for his kids. Torrie said its to show big tittied woman all over the place that they can still be strong, even with the back pain and scars from wearing the wrong bra for years. John wants to win because, well just because.
More flashbacking of the three from each outcast. Peppermint Patti wants some of that jungle dong so she doesn't care whether John wins or not, she's gonna hit that thang. Holly agrees. So does Big Bloaty. I think Big Bloaty would like a little LaBamba tail himself. Get in line and don't be stingy. Now Big Bloaty thinks maybe Torrie could win. Hey Big Bloaty pick a hole already! Now he picks John. And Holly changes over to Papa Lou. Some others said other shit but I don't care anymore. Let's get to who gets sent home. Oh Jesus kill me now. Super Douche & Heidious have just announced that they think Super Douche will win.
Ren & Stimpy FINALLY decide they are going to lets us know which of the Three Stooges didn't make the cut. But first they have to stall, stall and say a bunch of sappy shit. Blah blah blah 24 grueling days blah blah horrendous ordeals blah blah you all are winners blah blah except you John Salley. America has just given you the wet smeary fart of death vote.
Awww sadness all around. Boo hoo. You are still a winner, just not here lol. Of course we then have to take a trip down John's jungle journey. Type that really fast when you are drunk. Ahh, the good times, the bad times, that time he tapped Peppermint Patti behind Vomit Fruit Tree. Memories.
Another stalling tactic commercial break and we get to see who wins. No? More testimonials from the cast about each other. Love, hugs, connected forever and ever and ever. I'll never forget you. I'll love you and your honesty and strength and humor and PUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This show has made me evil. Oh no! Maybe the demons that were after Heidious and Super Douche have gotten me! Or maybe I'm just a bitch.
Binge and Purge are actually saying that it all ends now. Which we all know means more stalling and filler. It's down to Torrie and LaBamba. Who will win? The sexy, strong, virile man who will be my next husband or Big Tata'd Torrie?
Puss and Boots tells us yet again all the shit we've heard a thousand times. But seriously, they are about to announce who is King or Queen of The Jungle.
And the winner is.........LaBamba! Janice is so excited that she hit the demerol drip button way too hard and had a seizure right on the bench!
And there you have it Gasmi devotees. LaBamba is indeed King of the Jungle!
Thanks to all you readers who stuck it out with this "special" show lol. And an absolutely huge ass loving hug and thanks to Medusa and L. Boogie for joining me in recapping this nightmare show.
Love and smooches to all,
Cherie
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Comments (4)
HOW DARE YOU CHERIE! I have snickered and tee-heed at all the little nicknames you gave to those horrible hosts Hemm & Roid, but when you called them Ren & Stimpy you crossed a line that should never have been crossed! Binge & Purge aren't fit to wear Ren's Sta-Put socks or braid Stimpy's nose hairs! I demand an apology for the greatest animated comic duo in the history of toons! I have endured minutes of my life these last few weeks fast forwarding through this crap fest and have lingered lovingly over your recaps but you my dear have committed blasphemy against toon demi-gods. I'm going to go cry now and dream of e-glazed ham....P.S. beware of Kilted Yaksmen bearing gifts!!!!!
1 of 4 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on June 29, 2009 4:01 PM
Hahahahahaa!!!!!
e-glazed ham? OMG I so apologze to the great Ren & Stempy. It was not my fault. I was under pressure....and running out of names. I shall spank myself repeatedly.
I should have said Dip & Shit. Or Snot & Wad. Or Has & Been.
2 of 4 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on June 29, 2009 7:41 PM
La-la-la-la-la LaBamba! Cherie, they should give you a prize for sticking with this show. Good on you! Hopefully, we won't have to see Bob and Tom (or Beavis and Butthead?) I have to agree, neither are fit to bear the name of Ren or Stimpy. But thanks for putting the Log Song in my head, with minor corrections.
Labamba, Labamba, he's big, he's heavy, he's wood. Labamba, Labamba, he's better than bad, he's good.
(Sang w/ love, b/c I would like to lambada with Labamba, even after that horrific pic you posted. :))
3 of 4 | Posted by jennaboa | Posted on June 30, 2009 7:46 AM
I am sad Sanjaya was sent home. I was so hoping he would build a ranch style house there.
4 of 4 | Posted by Snortles | Posted on July 1, 2009 2:58 PM