Last week Janice and Holly were eliminated, in a shocking *gasp* double elimination. Sanjaya is now heartbroken, he was GBFF with Holly, forming the wimpiest celebrity couple name yet, Sanjolly.

I love that Sanjaya has a GF. I will be delighted to see a union of the Montags and the Malakars. Imagine Mr. and Mrs. Montag try to Christmas shopping for the offspring of Spencer and the offspring of Sanjaya?

Mrs. Montag: If we get Sanjaya Jr. the jewel encrusted Dior sunglasses and Armani blazer he asked for, what should we get Spencer Jr.?
Mr. Montang: Probably the same exact thing.

Well, maybe that isn't so difficult. But thanks for coming along for the ride.

Janice is eliminated over Patti that also makes Sanjaya sad.

He'll be only one to miss her. John is happy that his platonic, please god, romance with Patti will go on and Janice will be gone. The jungle will be quiet, there will be extra helpings at dinner and they can stop trying to boil the creak to kill the super model super germs.

Stephen is starting to succumb to homesickness. Surprisingly enough, he doesn't claim possession by the Devil, he just misses his family. However the hosts mention that a cast reunion will take place later in the week. So obviously, they will not be flying the blonde Baldwin back to Rocklin County just yet. In the truth, does he miss his family, or does he miss room service? According to more recent reports he really left because there were larvae growing under his skin.

Stephen says that he doesn't have the same zeal to win. He's been here longer than he'd thought he'd be. He's ready to go. Stephen would like his fans to respect his departure. No worries, just call Pat Robertson, he'll explain the whole thing on CBN, but make sure the check clears.

Lou got bit in the EYE during the night. It's swollen and scary and Lou and John say he looks like some prize fighter I've never heard of, but based on entertainment news coverage of many boxers, I'd say he looks more like Mrs. Boxer on a regular basis.

Patti got bit on the ass. The bugs get any square inch of uncovered skin. Even skin that's green with (Torrie and possibly Janice) envy. Not toxic.

John says the bugs found the finest ass in camp. I think that's officially harassment in the workplace and I would like John fired. In one sentence John went from being the gentle giant of the camp to the creepy co-worker that holds eye contact for way too long and is inexplicably always returning from the bathroom.

During the storm the cast is stuck in the confessional. While sequestered and warding off boredom, they decide to make up a story. It's basically about a banshee they are all acquainted with... they end the story by having "non-Janice" kidnapped and taken into custody of a rabid jungle creature doing God's work or something like that.

John reads a newly delivered scroll, in line with their rule system based entirely the convenience of the producers, and he announces that an eliminated contestant will return to camp. The cast mates question if this means that all the eliminated contestants will be eligible to return? Even Daniel? Even Angela? Even The Bratts and their demon possessors?

The I'm a Celebrity cast mates don't know what happens once they cross the bridge. Is it like the wardrobe in The Narnia Chronicles? Could they leave the jungle now, never to return to the same time? One week in the jungle could mean 1300 years past in the rest of the world. But this bunch probably will be just as relevant in 3309, as they are now. Meaning, not.

In fact, Janice is back, I think Cher's going to lose her "comeback" title, because reality television has shown us that Janice Dickenstein can surely survive a nuclear holocaust with the cockroaches. Especially the ones she's dated.

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Posted in I'm A Celebrity! Get Me Out of Here! by Medusa at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Last Comment: fatman on Jun 29, 2009 08:23 AM.