It's me again y'all. And it's elimination day. I have a feeling I'm gonna be pissed off very soon so let's just jump right into I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!
This show just kills me. As someone mentioned in the comments section, they spend more time telling you what just happened, what might happen, what's coming up and what may or may not happen than they show actual new footage. Ok I'll play. Gives my warped mind more time to make shit up. Like how I know for a FACT that just 30 seconds before this shot, Crappyshoes dress was pulled up over her head.
Ok so announcer dude is gonna catch us up on the shit that happened in the long long ago. You know, last night. Basically the girls suck. Boys win everything. Then the boys are given the option to save one of the girls from America's vote of death and they choose Patti. Uh.....why? Janice and John had a fight over shampoo. And yes I understand that Janice can be a little, well, bitchy, but come on. Dude has NO HAIR!
Another bloated Baldwin waddled into the forest and Super Douche and Heidious want back in. Can we start the show now? Damien and Crappyshoes appear to basically tell lame jokes and remind us that the voting has closed and blah blah blah. Then Lamien says, "anyone remember Heidi and Spencer?" Well they want back in. Yeah we know. The announcer dude told us that 5 seconds ago. Sheesh.
They show Mr. & Mrs. Wad begging and praying to Jesus to be let back in. Crappyshoes tells them it shall be left to their jungle mates. Said jungle nuts then argue back and forth. Some say yes some say no. Then Big Bloated Baldwin says that if he had been shot down by his peers every time he made a mistake he wouldn't be sitting here now.
Bloaty further says they could give them boundries and rules. Hahahaha! DUDE! You can't follow rules and you want to make someone else do it? As LaBamba points out, Super Douche has made it clear he wants to be the villain and he doesn't want to send the message that what they did was ok. And he said a lot of other stuff that probably made sense but suddenly I can't concentrate too well.
Me also thinks that if the husband reads this me arse is in trouble. Oh well I'll just point out that I know where his stash of porn is and he'll shut it. Ok he doesn't have have a stash of porn. (yes he does) I just made that up. (I so did not)
Back to the show. Janice tries to apply the Bible to the situation, which is kinda like putting a band aid on a severed leg. Someone else points out that these idiots have been gone 2 days and that means they ate, did unspeakable acts that I refuse to imagine, and if they come back they will be taking up space from someone who actually deserves to be there. And someone might be sent home who shouldn't be.
Lamien and Crappyshoes are back to tell us that the camp is all a twitter about the new dude. You remember, Big Bloaty. And they imply that he's good looking. Before we get to the jungle nuts loving Daniel, I must ask a question. Why do people think these Baldwin dudes are so good looking? Ok YEARS ago Alec was fine. Have you seen him lately? He has the Baldwin Bloat and then some. Steven looks like a cartoon character and Daniel, well, look at him. Not sexy. And I know there's another one out there but I'm pretty sure they ate him years ago. Rant over for now.
Anywhoodles, the other jungle people just love Big Bloaty. He's willing to work like a dog and he's polite and helpful. Janice thinks he's the best thing since crack.
Then they re-show Baby Bloated's reaction to Big Bloaty arriving and we see this little scene of the two of them playing. Adorable.
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Comments (12)
zzzzzzzzzz. Oh sorry. I fell asleep watching this show. But I really didn't miss anything, did I? Since most of it was a rehash!!
I'm done with this crap, although I will keep coming back for the recaps to see how many times Mr. and Mrs. Douche will leave, come back, leave, come back and how many times those morons will let them in. The charity thing just lets the producers get away with whatever they like without following the rules of a game show.
And you know what? ..........Never mind. I give up. Talk to the hand. Whatevs. Yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm done.
What happened to the good reality shows of summer?
And where was my Hugh?
1 of 12 | Posted by razzbeth | Posted on June 8, 2009 5:27 PM
Thank you, Cherie and the other recappers, for actually sitting through this horrific show! I can't...I just can't! But the recaps are wonderful! You deserve a medal of honor for sitting through Janice's phlegm-fest. I was grossed out just reading about it!
Sanjaya doesn't seem to be featured too much in the show yet...I'm pegging him for the win! Haha
2 of 12 | Posted by fierytopaz | Posted on June 8, 2009 8:22 PM
Ah Cherie, the internet is our porn stash these days.
And I think the only thing host-dude might do with host-dudette is give her advice on shoes. If you know what I'm mean.
I'm glad Frick is out. Hope her partner goes soon too. The others are much less conscious of how stupid they look on this stupid show.
And what's the deal with only having one or two people compete at a time? Is the studio not big enough to fit everyone? This looks like a show made for a third-rate local cable channel.
3 of 12 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 9, 2009 12:06 AM
Billy Baldwin is the hot one. He was always the ONLY hot one.
4 of 12 | Posted by mvelis | Posted on June 9, 2009 12:09 PM
I've come to like Adam Baldwin best.
Watching this show - let alone recapping it - has got to be a violation of the Geneva Convention. (Where is the ACLU when you need them?)
Water boarding is for sissies. Make terror suspects watch this show for 24 hours straight. They'll tell you anything and spontaneously convert to Orthodox Judaism.
5 of 12 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 9, 2009 7:04 PM
Its so awful . These people. The set. The hosts. All bad, all wrong. And yet I must watch. And I must type. It's a sickness.
6 of 12 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on June 9, 2009 7:23 PM
Dear Cheri,
I've come down with the same sickness. I watch this mess and read about it even though there is nothing whatsoever charming or funny or even interesting going on.
It's like a book with a bad cover, a terrible table of contents and nothing but gibberish in between the chapter headings.
We don't even have the appeal of really good scenery.
So why do we watch? I think it's Heidi's voice. Her voice is like a hypnotic tone that only dogs can hear. Our brain is rendered helpless and we are unable to turn away from the screen or even turn the channel.
Either that or we are hypnotized by her new boobs. I'm pretty sure that's why Spencer is still around.
Once you are aware of the powers of her plastic boobs, you can change the channel and turn away from this new low in reality programming.
If you keep watching it's sure to lower your IQ.
TVannie
7 of 12 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on June 10, 2009 5:46 AM
Tyvm for such an awesome recap! I stopped watching this show when the fake jesus lovers speidi came back and turned what could have been a good show into a horrible one - all they do is talk about Jesus which would be OK if they were believable but IMO they better get out of that jungle fast before they are both struck dead from lightning - because They just spew lies IMO they dont believe at all - anyways thats why i got disgusted with the show - what could have been great entertainment is all one big Jesus loving Lie thanks to the Douches aka speidi.
BUT I still read your recaps - because they are so entertaining and make me laugh out loud! So I thank you very much for all you do! :)
rebecca
8 of 12 | Posted by Rebecca1968 | Posted on June 10, 2009 12:27 PM
I dunno...I think they've done wonders for the cause.
I mean, from now on, the 'righteous' will be forced to ask themselves: if these idiots believe in this hoohaw, how can I?
Not to mention the Puffy Baldwin character. Yet another poster child for religion.
In the meantime, how many more days will we be tortured by the photo of Daffy Duck on the 'gasm's home page/
9 of 12 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 10, 2009 1:19 PM
Daffy Duck lol. That's an insult to ducks. Whatever their religion. Or in Janice's case, species.
10 of 12 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on June 10, 2009 2:15 PM
That girl Heidi is really stupid. I wish she would pray to God and ask God to make her smarter. And the husband doesn't seem much smarter. I'm only slightly religious but I find these people offensive for making the religious look foolish.
11 of 12 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on June 10, 2009 3:18 PM
Cherie,
Thank you for watching and the great recap. I am also happy to have another rider on the Lou Train! I fell in love with him when I saw him in LaBamba, and he only gets better and hotter with age. My husband can't stand the way I watch him when he takes his shirt off! I told him he could watch Janice take anything he wanted off. Funny-no takers. TEAM LOU!
xoxo
12 of 12 | Posted by nyc cookie | Posted on June 11, 2009 8:44 PM