As we join the rumble in the jungle, hosts XX and XY are on hand to pummel the viewing audience with recaps of last week's episodes. It's the twisty-turny tale of 9 celebrities plus ULTRA SPECIAL REALITY CELEBRITIES, Heidi and Spencer. And as if it really needs to be repeated, the Bratts have quit and returned more times than Michael Jordan, with 2% of the charisma and 0% of the fan demand.

In Costa Rica the Bratts have been left to atone for their devilish antics--if they can spend the entire night in the lost chamber, they have a chance to return to the game.

While Spencer and Heidi are banished to the lost chamber, the celebrities back at camp are left to decide whether or not they should allow the spoiled young'ns to return to the game. Leader LaBamba sums up the situation nicely, "I don't think American wants them to win, but I think America does want them to suffer." Yes, Lou. Exactly. Now if you could only focus your insights on to picking relevant acting roles, we'll see what we can do about getting you out of the reality TV game and back to lip syncing some good mariachi.

Heidi and Spencer enter the shack that looks about as scary as the bathrooms at Girl Scout camp and try to settle themselves in for the night. They are examining the different species of bugs that inhabit the shack and are debating whether or not they're poisonous.

To survive the night, Heidi and Spencer pray--like a lot, like Kirk Cameron a lot. We're actually treated to some entertaining night-cam footage of Heidi and Spencer jumping at the sound of every creak.

Recently, I read that the crew took it upon themselves to mess with the Bratts by dragging an acorn across the ground with fishing line.

The camp decides that they will indeed allow the Bratts back, if they last the night in the lost chamber. And in fact, the Bratts do survive the night in the infested port-a-potty and hike back to camp.

Of course Janice is the only one really excited to see them and she lets Spencer know that she is the only one that wanted them back. In actuality it wasn't just Janice and Jesus on their side, there was a vote and for some god awful reason the camp consented to their return.

Spencer wastes no time with hellos and jumps in to the tale of woe he and his bride suffered after they left camp. Upon leaving, they weren't sure they had made the right decision, so "just like a fairytale," they go down to the creek to pray on it. Heidi began reading the Bible and Spencer fell ill. He was sweating and vomiting. Spencer, that's how I feel when I hear Heidi's voice too!

**Side note: There are so many jokes to be made here. I'm overwhelmed. A few more options are included below and please feel welcome to contribute your own:

Heidi began reading the bible and Spencer fell ill...

-Spencer, that's actually your gag reflex from people shoving religion down your throat.
-Was she reading the Bible or a transcript from the show?
-Was she reading the Bible or singing her latest single?
-It wasn't the Bible reading, it was seeing your own reflection in the water.
-It wasn't the Bible reading, it was a hangover from Janice's fumes.
-It wasn't the Bible reading, it's the onset of the E. coli infection you contracted from having your head wedged so far up your own ass.

Oh damn, I should have used the "head up your own ass" one.**

The reformed Bratts settle back into camp and Heidi starts talking to Sanjaya about pop superstardom. It's basically like listening to George Bush and Sarah Palin have a discussion about the Nobel Peace Prize. Fools.

Heidi can't wait until Sanjaya and Janice and THE WHOLE WORLD hears her album. She sings a bit of her "rock song" for the campers. Do I even have to say it? It's horrible.

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Posted in I'm A Celebrity! Get Me Out of Here! by Medusa at 9:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: roja on Jun 18, 2009 07:13 AM.