I didn't even turn to NBC until 8:10 ET becuase I figured they'd be showing clips from the last episode for the first 45 minutes or so. Imagine my surprise when I turned to the show and the action had already started. Damien and Myleene start off the show and Damien can't even get his first word out. I thought that maybe the two of them were doin' it but now I just think he's a drunk and she's an enabler. She's always wearing some Stepford wife dress which is completely inappropriate for the jungle. And he's always looking at her with misplaced aggression.
I totally mispelled Myleene's name the first time around. I assumed it was something normal like Marlene so I never checked the spelling. I live in the hood and all but I can't keep up with these new-fangled names. What happened to good old-fashioned names like Betty Lou, Mary, Raheem?
Anyname, we catch up with the cast who are hanging from a bar. The last person left hanging will be immune to elimination. Janice doesn't partcipate due to doctor's orders.
Patti's out first after 2 minutes or so and Daniel Baldwin goes next because he has back problems. John Salle's feet are already in the muddy water because he's so tall. If he had on some high heels he could just stand on his toes and win this! However, John packed lightly and he goes next. Stephen Baldwin follows and Torrie, Lou and Sanjaya are the last three hanging. Torrie falls next and Sanjaya lets go because he feels that Lou should get immunity.
After the challenge, Torrie tells Daniel that she's fed up with the fact that Janice is fine all day but then she's too sick to do the challenges. Daniel tells Torrie that when the food arrives, Janice is going to have a ton of energy. Since when does the world's first supermodel get excited over food? I'm hoping that Daniel is wrong about this one. They're hoping that she gets sent home but suspect that the next female to go will be Patti. The next morning, The cast is awakened by the howler monkeys' howling and Daniel figures that it's supposed to attract women because that's how he got his wife.
Sanjaya does what anyone else would do and howls back.
Lou assigns Janice to wash the dishes and asks Sanjaya to be her assistant. He is not happy.
Janice says that she hates doing dishes because she's been famous since 1974. I'm guessing that that's the last time she ever washed dishes because she still does it the old-fashioned way. She spits onto a plate, rubs it in and adds it to the pile of clean dishes. Seriously. That must be how big time celebrities like Janice and Popeye do it.
The "celebrity" replacing Speidi arrives and it's Heidi's sister, Holly. I think its hilarious that she's a "celebrity" yet no one knew who she was. In all fairness, she didn't know who any of them were either. She explains that she is qualified to be on this show because she's Heidi's older sister and the sister in law that Spencer hates. Good enough for me! They rerun this show on MTV over the weekends and earlier today I was wondering how they were going to keep that demographic without Speidi and I guess this is their lame ass attempt.
Janice immediately grabs onto Holly, the only person who doesn't hate her yet, and the rest of the cast feels that Janice is using Holly. Lou takes Daniel to the side and says that Janice is a sycophant and leech. Damn Lou-all that hot body and big words.
Lou receives a scroll with the next mission on it. Two women and men will participate and they must have dexterity. Janice asks what that is and Lou explains that they have to be able to use their hands. Janice says she's good with her hands so she'll participate. They ask Holly if she's good with her hands and she says yes.
Lou and Daniel step up for the guy's side. Both teams take turns talking crap and Janice yells at Daniel that when a supermodel puts on makeup, the whole world stops.
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Comments (7)
erm...this is NOT SYTYCD! but I'll read it anyway :)
1 of 7 | Posted by Tadow | Posted on June 14, 2009 5:19 AM
Wow, I'm a little surprised you left out the night footage showing Janice piss right next to her cot then sliding her wet self right back onto her cot and going to sleep Eeew! She's gonna be pissed when she learns what was shown, but that might teach her to not spit and piss where she puts her own damn feet!
2 of 7 | Posted by Tadow | Posted on June 14, 2009 5:32 AM
I like Sanjaya and Torrie. Lou's OK too. Wait and see on Holli, but she seems nice.
3 of 7 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on June 14, 2009 6:23 PM
If they keep replacing “celebrities,” how will we ever get this show over? And why do the “celebrities” keep getting less and less recognizable. Who’s the next cast member? My local weather girl?
Heidi’s sister, Holly, is measurably more tolerable, if only because she seems to dislike the Bratts as much as the rest of us. It’s a shame they didn’t let her pack a chin, though. Maybe she can get an implant from Janice’s doctor when this lousy show is over.
If Sanjaya would stop crying, I might actually like him a little.
Now…about Patty. “She explains that she and her husband were so modest that they didn't move into the state house that had 35 rooms, butlers and chefs. She claims that people took this modesty as a slight.” No Patty. The residents of Illinois thought it was selfish of you to blow off the state mansion in favor of your own mansion…necessitating the cost of FLYING your husband downstate to conduct business, sometimes on a daily basis, but usually just 3 or 4 times a week…then flying him back home again so he could sleep in the same bed as you Meanwhile, because the state mansion needs to be kept up to date and ready for guests at a moment’s notice, the taxpayers were paying for the upkeep and utilities on an empty mansion…and paying for the costs of where you were living (in your private home) since that became the defacto Governor’s mansion. It was another example of outrageous, unnecessary expense. And your husband is a lying a criminal.
Oh, Torrie? Patty and her family are only good with numbers when there’s an illegal payoff involved.
P.S. Please feed Janice’s lying, disgusting, piggy ass to the ‘gators. Or have Patty calculate how much money would be needed to bribe Janice to leave. Thank you.
4 of 7 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on June 14, 2009 6:40 PM
Omigod, I LOVED the correlation you used with that CLASSIC SBTB episode--absolutely HILARIOUS!!!
Janice is REALLY annoying, but am I the only one wondering if some of her filmed "shenanigans" (i.e. peeing in the camp, stealing food,) are actually staged...or perhaps..."suggested" to her by the show's producers? I mean almost every reality show has the typical "villain" character, but anyone who's ever seen a "Rock of Love," or "Flavor of Love," or any of the other myriad of VH-1 shows w/ "Love" in the title, reunion show has also seen how completely over the top the "shocking" cat fights between former cast members are, and after the first or second one, it's pretty obvious that the producers are "suggesting" that certain cast members appear to beat the 'Hell out of each other just to score some higher ratings.
I'm just sayin'....
5 of 7 | Posted by jerzgrrrl72 | Posted on June 14, 2009 11:03 PM
I've tried to watch this episode TWICE already. And BOTH times I literally fell asleep after 15 mins or so.
6 of 7 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 15, 2009 12:24 AM
I couldn't stomach actually watching these people, so thank you for your hysterical recaps. By the way, if you haven't seen it yet, you have to check out Al Roker's interview of Heidi and Spencer. He calls them out on their crap and it's pretty funny watching Spencer describe how he purposely plays a villan on the reality shows, but wants to be thought of as a hero in real life! So, he has a master plan? Why does that scare me?
7 of 7 | Posted by olderandwiser | Posted on June 15, 2009 1:57 PM