Yes folks, it's the show that never ends. Much like the cobwebs in Janice's old dusty cooter, it just goes on and on. And one more "Celebrity" will be sent packing. Let's see what the jungle nuts are up to tonight on I'm A Celebrity! Get Me Out Of Here!
As we start the show, bugs are biting, birds are chirping, and the cheese has done slid off the Baldwins crackers. LaBamba tells us that he's hoping for a good day today. Yesterday was odd and trying. And they flashback to the granola bar abduction. You see, there should have been 4 bars, but somehow there are only 3.
So now not only does announcer guy repeat everything that has already happened, then Dumb and Dumber do it, NOW the jungle nuts are having flashbacks too. To sum up. Janice is a thieving ass whackjob. And everyone knows it. Especially the Bloated Baldwins.
On and on these two taunt Janice about being a thief and a pathological liar. She stays calm and just gives them the finger. Then Big Bloaty just keeps mumbling "Where's the granola bar?" This is sending Baby Baldwin into fits of giggle mania until LaBamba steps in to try and stop it. Nope, Big Bloaty said it again. I'm starting to like him. That means he's a goner. Cut to Lamien and Crappy mumbling nonsense and we segue into the jungle nuts being eaten alive by all the bugs.
Janice screams about the bugs making her crazy which is really redundant and then her face collapses and she is immediately injected with some shit they use on the space shuttle to get her face straightened back out. But everyone else is being bitten all to hell. And since I am a hypochondriac I am now itching and I feel bugs everywhere!
Sanjungleboy and LaBamba seem to be getting the worst of it. LaBamba's legs look like my 13 year old nephews face right after he hit puberty.
TPTB finally give these folks some little stickers that are supposed to keep the bugs away. I saw them and just thought they were marking them in case the sharp shooters had to be called in for Janice. And guess what y'all? THIS IS FOR CHARITY!
Scroll time! LaBamba reads that they need to pick one person from each team who enjoys shopping. They pick Holly and Sanjungleboy. And then John and Big Bloaty get all serious with him like their lives depend on this shit.
On to the food challenge. Ding and Dong tell them that one team will eat a nice big bowl of air tonight and the other team will eat this!
This stupid challenge is called "Shop Til You Drop." They will be 70 feet in the air, walking on a wire and pushing a shopping cart that yet again looks like it came from the set of Gilligan's Island. They have 3 minutes each to grab the assorted food items that are hanging beside the walking death trap and place them in their buggies. Who ever has the most items in the 3 minutes wins. yay.
Sanjungleboy starts first. And they have them wearing hideous leotards for whatever reason. They show a close up and I get a little dizzy.
Lamien again repeats how to play the game and tells them that if they fall off then it's game over. No shit. On and on Sanjungleboy travels until he gets to the end. It's beer. They tell him he can do it and he reminds them he's not allowed to even drink beer. Time runs out but Sanjungleboy gets nine items in his cart. Crappy tries to make small talk and says "You must really be proud of how you gotten out there because your balance, you, you seem to just be on top of it." Yes bitch he was on top otherwise he would've fallen off. STOP LETTING HER SPEAK!
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Comments (11)
The only reason that Patti is on this show is to taint the jury pool that her husband will eventually face. Her entire family is disgusting.
Thank you again for sacrificing your time to watch and recap this show.
Just reading your recaps tells me that this show is poorly scripted and obviously fixed. These shows with "viewer polls"? Please...
1 of 11 | Posted by philo | Posted on June 16, 2009 6:46 AM
Cherie:
This isn't clear. What does this mean exactly:
"As everyone is hugging Big Bloaty goodbye, all Janice keeps doing is screaming "Say no to prop 8. Can you hear me Perez? Perez Hilton! Say no to Prop 8!" Over and over and over. OK, wasn't Prop 8 already voted on. Is this a code she is using for her "gay nation?"
Hey gay people. I love ya to death but please, please stop that shit! Janice is gross people! She hocks loogies and pees in camp and then doesn't even WIPE!!! Ok I've said my piece."
Please explain. Thank you.
2 of 11 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on June 16, 2009 7:46 AM
Cherie, I don't even have to read your entire recap (but I will) to get my laugh for the day. The first paragraph and first pic of Janice was fulfilling. Thanks.
3 of 11 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on June 16, 2009 8:41 AM
This show just gets more bizarre...
I thought Sanjaya was gay...is he confused about what sex chinless Holly is? And since they are roughly the same height, I’m gonna have to agree on the “grocery items” being placed farther out for Holly.
Janice has to be one of the most disgusting individuals ever. Even her version of “comfort” makes people run, as evidence by Patty taking a pass on a Janice pep-talk.
I used to wonder where Rob Blagojevich’s upper lip went…but now that I’ve heard portions of those FBI tapes, I’m betting Rob sold that lip years ago. It’s probably how he financed his first campaign, since he didn’t yet have access to any Senate seats to sell.
4 of 11 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on June 16, 2009 8:41 AM
Mr. Dangerous, Janice keeps crediting her "gay nation" and Perez Hilton for keeping her in the game. I was asking gay people all around if they would stop keeping her in the game because she is disgusting. What did you think I meant? For gay people to stop being gay? LOLOLOLOL!! If gay voters are keeping her there I wish they'd focus on someone more worthy. Like LaBamba!
By the way, I thought Sanjungleboy was gay also. Even if he's not, I just don't see him with Homely Holly. I think she'd break him in two.
Thanks for reading peeplets!
Love!
5 of 11 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on June 16, 2009 4:06 PM
Ok this one had me laughin'
My husbands a crook and I look like Peppermint Patti!
I wish they'd give them all knives and let them fight to the death for the win. My money would be on Janice, she's just so skinny and greasy and has no qualms about going under the knife and repairing old parts.
6 of 11 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on June 16, 2009 6:34 PM
I just can't stand watching this show, but obviously the worse it gets (and it keeps getting worse), the better the recaps.
Loved the Peppermint Patti line.
Obviously her 'big break' came when she learned to suppress the gag reflex when she met Blago.
And there's no way she wasn't aware of his sliminess. I lived in Chicago, and the entire state of Illinois's political process is based on corruption and cronyism. Blago just got caught at it, that's all. Probably because of the stupid hair.
There's no doubt in my mind that Sanjaya is gay. But who wants to bet that he's angling for a role on The Hills?
Duckface has VFTW's support too.
7 of 11 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 17, 2009 12:16 AM
Oh, I misunderstood. I thought you wanted us to stop fighting for our civil rights. Thanks for the clarification.
I don't think gay people are voting for Janice. I suspect the only people voting for Janice are people in the fashion industry. You know models, administrative assistants, people with bad attitudes and those yokels on THE FASHION SHOW. But really, is anybody voting for anybody on this show? I want the hosts to reveal how many calls they get like Ryan Seacrest does but instead of 88 million it would be, like, 432.
8 of 11 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on June 17, 2009 7:34 AM
Haven't finished reading yet but had to chime in -- does anyone hate (HATE) that myleene person as much as I do? Stupid dresses, dumb name, hideous shoes, and the very first English accent that just grates on my nerves. I don't know why I find her so annoying. I had to wiki her because I had never heard of or seen her before. I swear I'm to the point of wanting speidi back if it would make myleavemealone go away!!
I think I now have anger issues! Must go self medicate!!
9 of 11 | Posted by FancyPants | Posted on June 17, 2009 4:00 PM
Fancypants, I hate her too which is why I never use her real name. She's annoying, stupid, lame, and she has man legs. Oh great now I need to go self medicate!
Mr. Dangerous I'm glad I cleared that up for you. With Janice, she's fond of saying "my gays" like they are a group of puppies she has collected. I find it offensive. I've heard other straight women use the term also and I just don't like it. Of course I'm a straight ass boring housewife so what the hell do I know? Maybe gay people find that endearing. I just don't. Wonder what Janice is going to do when she finally does get voted out? Blame Perez Hilton and her gay nation is my bet. I loved Janice on her show, but after seeing her ass in the jungle, eeew. I just don't know if I'll ever see her the same way again.
10 of 11 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on June 17, 2009 4:45 PM
Finally, finally, finally that horrid Janice has been sent home. Not just a liar and thief, she was rude, and manipulative with the table manners of a cow. Now she can keep her appointment with the 12th plastic surgeon to get some more of her face caulked. After watching her and Simon I am now convinced we need to keep the Guantanamo Bay facility open and detain freaks like these two indefinitely.
11 of 11 | Posted by Snortles | Posted on June 20, 2009 4:23 PM