Greetings, gasmii! VH1 has once again decided to grace us with their grandest show of all, I Love Money! Join me as we take a look at the cast of season two, the jerkiest of all reality jerks. That could be a competition in and of itself.

After a crayayzy week in Chicago dealing with family matters, I am so happy to be back in the warm, fuzzy world of the Gasm. Not that Chicago isn't great, I love Chicago. I had deep-dish pizza, prime rib, cheesecake, and met the Anti-Christ. No, I'm not kidding. I'm happy to tell you that the Anti-Christ is alive and well, and currently residing behind one of the luggage check-in counters in the USAIR terminal.

Anyhoo, this week our ladies continue to dispense with social conventions in a way that makes me long for a level of sexual repression more commonly found in Franciscan nuns. Grab some wine, some aerodynamic munchies and bolt your doors. You never know where creepy douchebag, Ryan, could be wandering.

Smartest host.

Tonight auditions are in Louisville, Kentucky - home of the Kentucky Derby, which is, as Ryan Seacrest tells us, the most exciting two minutes in sports. Wow, that first sentence is a whole load of new information to my brain. Only two minutes? Really? Golf could take a tip from the Kentucky Derby.

Mr. Caddywhompus is....TRUE BEAUTY.

A guy is writing a letter. He signs it "I'm sorry", takes off his wedding ring and drops it on the letter. He grabs his car keys and an armful of clothes out of the closet. So he's running out on his wife and kid, right? WRONG. Wife and kid come home unexpectedly to retrieve the kid's forgotten hockey stick. Dad's sitting in his classic Camaro, pumping his lungs full of fumes. In a span of about three seconds, Supermom dials 911 and gives Dad CPR. He wakes up and says sorry, but he couldn't take the pain anymore.

Death Cab For Daddy

But in a much kinder and gentler way than usual.

Ahhhhhhh!

And Rebecca and Justin were an item, despite the fact that that's almost incest and that we haven't seen them together in like months. Oh, and I spelled "Greenatopia" wrong. Moving on.

We start in medias res, which I looove. You know, when everything is so crazy and messed up that you know they're going to go back in time to explain how everything got so weird? That's what's going on right now.

Walk of Shame.

After much anticipation, everyone's favorite polygamists are back and they're not wasting any time puttering around in the season premier of Big Love. They've got some thick Mormon drama cooking for us from the jump.

The call sheet says they will need sunscreen for a tour of Hollywood in a convertible. They wonder if it's going to be a big stretch limo with a hot tub just like the old days. Well, not exactly.

The guys go outside and see a large red double decker tour bus. They climb aboard and get to the top level. Jason Hervey tells them that they will be going on a special tour of Hollywood. The tour guide is Brian. Before they leave Jason tells them "to move forward, they must address their past". This is a trip down memory lane for our teen idols.

So we finished the first one and it was good times! Apparently, there were problems with the chat room. We will make sure it's up and running for next week's show. Sorry to whoever couldn't chat, and thanks to Chooch and Charlotte for calling in! You should be able to listen to the show in the window above. We'll be back next Thursday at 7 pm Eastern time, and if you want to join us by phone or chat, find instructions here!!