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Newsgasm: I See Brick Pillars Edition - TVgasm

by B-Side

haleyjoelosment072006

  • Former child star and aspiring Muppet Haley Joel Osment was hospitalized after crashing his car into a brick pillar in the wee hours of the morning. It would have been cuter seven years ago. [AP]

  • Jessica Biel successfully whores herself out for charity, auctioning off a date for $30,000. The winner told TVgasm.com that "I just really want to see her mature, Faye Dunaway face up close." [AP]

  • Britney Spears has proven yet again to be a master wordsmith. On her website, she muses about the transfixing powers of tigers, writing, "They make you wonder what is behind their gaze. A sense of eerie awe comes over you in their presence. The fear they give you when you pass them is stunning. Behold the beauty of the tiger!" And behold the power of marijuana! [Page Six, BritneySpears.com]

  • Fox plans to debut a new, national morning show in January. It's tentative title: "Have An AWFUL Morning!" [New York Times]

  • New Line has nixed advanced critics screenings for Snakes on the Plane. That's okay. The buzz has peaked anyway. Now, if they decide to rename it Cold Hearted Snakes on a Plane and cast Paula Abdul as a harried passenger, then I might get excited again. [Variety]


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Comments

The guy who bought a date with Jessica Biel sounds a bit whacky (Faye Dunaway???), but I want to give Biel props. A great teen in Denver was in a horrific accident and Jessica raised a lot of money to help with the cost of her rehabilitation. It was a very nice gesture on Biel's part that didn't have a Hollywood starlet, self-promoting smell to it.

In that picture (without all the Photoshopped blood and stuff), HJO looks a lot like my friend. It's weird.

I think there will still be plenty of people willing to see Snakes on a Plane on its opening day, which is probably what New Line is going for.

he was in a '95 saturn?!? boy needs to start working again.

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