Pierce, some model that we haven't seen who looks like a rag doll, relays to Kehoe as he does his hair all the shit Janice is saying about the sanctity of her house and home. St. Janice Dickinson's very holy, you know. She's performed a lot of miracles. If, miracles= botox injections and strings of incoherent ramble. I still can't believe Janice Dickinson ever got PAID to MODEL. Like, maybe in the dark ages? And by that I mean she's old, and also historically speaking, there was also a lot of disease. And, I think the lights were out. Do I get my PhD now?

Kehoe, like the lame-ass douchebag that he is, fears another night sleeping in his car. Yeah, life is tough for you, isn't it? Maybe you shouldnt've been such an annoying douche every second of the day to every person ever, and maybe you wouldn't have to live in your '89 Honda Civic. Serin, the very effective bodyguard, does his first bodyguard duty (besides wearing cutoff shirts that say "bodyguard" on them) in like, 2 seasons by escorting Kehoe out of the Model house. He yells, as he leaves, "I still love you, Janice." How touching.

Drugs are bad! Just ask my gay, thirteen year old boyfriend.

J.P., Mr. "I try to underplay my homosexuality and middle age", goes out to have a word with Kehoe as he ruminates in the Model House parking lot. J.P. states, insightfully, that Kehoe's antics were going to catch up with him. Thanks, Dad. Hey, acting like a total asshole is bad? What? Fine, I'll buy it, but only until I get hired on at the Beverly Hills California Pizza Kitchen. Get it? 'Cause they're all assholes, there. And they don't bring me lemonade and butter patties when I want them. Hey, Kehoe, maybe they'll hire you. Wait, I think you need a general education degree and no STDS. Oops, nevermind.

J.P./my aging, homosexual Dad keeps on talking about how Janice has made her whole career on no drugs and maintaining a positive public image. Really, J.P.? Really? May I submit to the jury piece of evidence number 1:

Please, Tim Burton, let me be in your next film...!

Not convincing enough? How about this....

Yeah, I found that all in Janice's Purse.

Or how about this....

Not actually Janice Dickinson.

Okay, that last one was just a personal photograph I like to keep with me, in case of emergencies. I think I've made my point about Janice being a bit of a hypocrite. Man, I should be a lawyer. I mean, I've already gotten like 50 PhDs, it's time to try something new.

J.P. calls both Janice and Crystal fragile (HA)! If fragile means you're made of Jerky meat, than I guess you're right, J.P. J.P. told the cameras that "Kehoe needed to hit rock bottom...I think it finally got to him." Really? Last time I checked, you aren't constantly applying hair gel at rock bottom. Maybe, however, I'm just not deep enough for J.P. Sigh. Kehoe leaves on the note of him wanting to change, to show Janice that he's a human being capable of not raping other human beings with the use of tranquilizers or other sedatives. Can he do it? Only time and the lesions on your penis will tell, Kehoe.

Meanwhile, the rest of the models are all cozy in their barracks and heading of to model sleepyland. All, except one- Alien-face Russian, who is busy downing two Marie Callender pies and a Carrot Cake for dessert. Wha? Apparently, on Neptune, they only eat baked goods. And, at night? Didn't Gremlins teach us not to feed aliens shit after midnight?

Polina, Keep it down... others are trying to rest.

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Posted in Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency by Monamonzano at 1:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: Monamonzano on Sep 24, 2008 07:57 PM.