Now, he's looking more like a hobo than he is a date rapist frat boy, probably because his hair's a little longer, or something. Kehoe's a genius, too...as evidenced by him popping in on the TinTe private shoot that seems to be shot in some sort of ramshackle, non-descript stucco nightmare.

Don't worry, we only rent the basement units to serial rapists.

Janice, in a desperate attempt to get Hazuki out of the house and away from the TV (you'd be suprised how many channels show anime cartoons), takes Hazuki to the TinTe shoot to be photographed for free. Now, I'm not a model (unless you count my Ph.D in modelology as me being a model, but I don't, because I'm modest like that) but does this seem um...sad and unkosher to anyone? Poor Hazuki. She's got a nice new haircut and nobody to pay her to take her picture. And she always looks like she's holding her head and body at a really buglike, awkward angle. Boo! Don't worry, Hazuki, I hear they're coming out with new bangles you can put on your cell phone! Did you hear me, bangles?

Kehoe tries to get a chance to talk to Janice, but she doesn't let him get a word in edgewise. I mean, come on..did he really think he'd get a chance to say something amidst the barking, infantile sentence-stringing that are Janice's voice and thoughts? Then, awkwardly, she spills like a 1/4 cup of bottled water on Kehoe's shirt.

Take your hobo stink to another made for T.V. modeling agency!

So I guess Kehoe's out for good. Heheheh, yeah right. Whatever the ratings call for I'm sure the JDMA will answer, I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if they drop the models in a foreign land and make them try to get back to the model house with only a 20 dollar bill and a button in their pocket. We essentially have all the skankiness of a typical elimination reality show in the JDMA....cohabitation, eliminations, hook-ups (read on, my friends!), prizes and punishments. It's as far away from real life and a real career, but instead of a suave reality T.V. host to usher us through the drama, we have a 100 year old woman with her own tv monitoring device.

GAH!

Kehoe starts to apologize to Crystal, but Janice kicks him out of the motel 6/TinTe photo shoot again. The TinTe photo shoot is going well, but suddenly awkward Hazuki starts shooting with Nadia, Crystal and Piglet (I mean, Xian). Pillow fight, girls. But all Hazuki aside, who will be the face of TinTe????? GOD, WHOOO!!????

I would like to be the face of TinTe or maybe at Cal State Long Beach's production of "Cabaret."

In the end, which glamour girl gets it?

The fat one is Xian. I dunno- just pick one.

It turns out to be Xian, who looks dashing in her leather mini-girdle. Believe me, folks, she needs it.

Xian hits all of the target markets- fatties, piglet-faces and coldstone creameries.

But all isn't well. Now, I haven't really given much thought to the models who don't seem weird, dumb or stupid, but it's time that I do. Let's talk about Nadia, the girl who almost didn't get picked for the TinTe shoot but is now pissed that she didn't get to be named "the face of TinTe."

Nadia is, on all accounts, a bitch.

So, first she's pissed the didn't get the "best in show" award, but then she blames it on the poor makeup artist, whom she said "didn't apply the makup in a good way." Um, I'm pretty sure they know what they're doing Nadia. Remember: makeup artists are called ARTISTS. They don't call models model-artists. And you are certainly not an artist, unless teeth-whitening is an art (it isn't).

Eeew. Get your Artist Hands off of me.

More and more, I like Crystal, because she's actually gracious and is happy for Xian. I mean, I'm happy for Xian, too, because she's a natural beauty, with a face to die for. She's going to go far, right? Right?

I call this picture: "MMBBFGGFGHHHMMPH", or, "champion piglet."

Another perfunctory event occurs in the house after the TinTe shoot: Janice brings her she-spawn, Savannah, into the model house to ask the models trivia questions about history. I see a LOT of problems with this: