Testimonials

Janice confronts Xian the next day, and says I want you to make good choices, blah blah blah. Of course, Xian bitches about the difficulties of being beautiful and Janice agrees. Ugh. Nothing I hate more than beautiful people bitching about beautiful people. And Xian? Really? She's like an extra on the twilight zone episode where everyone's a pig-person.

Xian Inspires fear and calorie consumption.

Next, Peyton suits up in his douchebag-gear and gets some pics taken of him. But what? Peyton isn't the only model chosen to be one of the faces of douchebaggery- no! Paul "Munchkin" Vandersomethingorother, Traci and Gavyn get picked to ride the anus-train. Gavyn could be my douchebag any day...dayyyummn. He's like a mixture between Paul Rudd and that doctor from Northern Exposure, minus a few years and a sharp wit. MMMMMM.

Gavyn, my adonis in douche-wear.

So then Traci had to get all up on Peyton, which the show makes seem like a big deal. Okay, I'm sure models have to get all on each others' junk and shit, like all the time. But, of course, spreading drama and disease are some of the mainstays of JDMA (the fake agency and the show). Ah well.

Peyton calls his homely girlfriend to tell her that...he's working? Around boobies? Peyton, you're a goddamned model- that's what you SHOULD be doing. That's what you're GOOD FOR. Later, Traci and Paul Vanderlame-owitz make out, causing more token attention to something that seems like an industry commonplace.

Makeout Dongfest.

Speaking of making out- wishing to, hoping to... did I mention Gavyn was onset? Oh yeah. Ehhhh. Back in the house, Maurice tries to get in Polina Alien-face's pants by cooking her dinner. Come on, you're going to have to get more creative than that! These alien types are VERY crafty. They can smell fear and carrot cake, for chrissakes. OKay, Polina ALWAYS looks like a prostitute. And how come she's always in the sluttiest white dress? Is that, like, pared down alien spacewear so she can live in earth's cruel atmosphere? I'm a scientist, but this is just speculation. And during dinner, I find it strange that they have to eat off of paper plates. What, there are no real plates and cutlery in the house? True, the models might hurt themselves, but come on. Maurice makes chicken Teriyaki and, suprise suprise, Polina HATES chicken Teriyaki, further supporting that she is not from this earth. Of course, I wouldn't eat anything Maurice gave me, yeesh, but come on. It's chicken and sugary-saucy goodness. What's not to like?

Serin awkwardly snaps a picture of Maurice and Polina after Polina gives Maurice a final (albeit demure) shoot-down.

Ahhh...makin' awkward Memories.

And who can forget Mr. Marty hearing impaired, who is acting as the house spy by observing everything. Boring, Martin- we already have cameras and 24 hour surveillance for that, duh. But then- Kehoe tries to come back yet AGAIN! And, he looks showered...or maybe just greasy? Janice still doesn't want to see his date-rape face, though.

Serin forgoes his fake-ish bodyguard duties to give Crystal a massage (ugh, Crystal, really? He wears a cut-off tank top as his WORK OUTFIT. Really?) And janice gets really pissed and grabs Serin and pushes him. And, that's it.

So? What will become of my litte date rapist kehoe? I'm beginning to miss him. And next week...stripclasses? Who will get an erection and who try to to hold onto their last vestiges of heterosexuality?? WHO???

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Posted in Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency by Monamonzano at 7:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: juddfan on Sep 29, 2008 01:22 PM.