Cindera/Jennifer Tilly gets the models in their hottest outfits so they can..feel hot? Honestly, these models need work . I agree with Gremlin. They're tall and skinny and pretty, and their existence on this earth is to make the shit around them look good. Come ON. It's not rocket science. I'm talking to you, Xian.
Oy.
The boy-models get back from partying at Hooters (oh, those lucky, lucky hooters girls) and find the girl-models in their sexy clothes, which basically look like their underwear from the beginning of the class, plus one fedora. Gross. People who wear fedoras should be shot into the 1920s and left for dead. Or, just shot.
Five boys get to sit and get a little lap dance from five of the girls. After hooters? How could this day get any better? Sorin has an idea.
Chivalry isn't dead!
J.P., the resident gay (thanks, readers for clueing me in on last season, so I don't have to waste all my closeted homo jokes on this guy), seems unamused by this flat-chest-athon. Sorin tries to grab Crystal (ahh, does the class ever end???) and Chandler looks absolutely PAINED by his lap dance care of Hazuki. Next, the girls get to pick the guys they want to awkwardly assault and Hazuki picks Gavin hot-ass (damn you, awkward Hazuki, for getting to touch my MAN!), Crystal picks Chandler to stir up the Chandler-Xian alliance and J.P. says is isn't cool that Crystal picks Fetal Alcohol. Yeah, those gays are always callin' it like it is, aren't they?
Grr. I wish Chrystal was a pork tenderloin. Then she'd know who's boss.
Polina chooses Maurice to dance up on (surprise surprise- gah, they're going to have THE UGLIEST WOMANIZING, BUG-BABIES EVER). And Xian decides to pick Danny because she's all pouty that Chrystal took fetal alcohol. And Fetal Alcohol feels the pain of piglet rejection. He does, and cuts out of the strip session.
Traci, meanwhile, just wants to die. She picks Paul to dance on, and of course, he's thrilled. So now everybody's awkwardly clomping around in big heels and gaudy boas, and the cameras can't resists tons of gratuitous shots of Polina's ass. Ugh.
Mission Ass-tastic.
Again, J.P. calls it like it is and outs Maurice's boner for hot Alien creepazoids. Nice job, Sherlock. Remember that awkward dinner? Yeah. We all know.
Xian looks cute. Traci looks better.
Danny Nunez calls Chandler a douchebag, and seems generally happy Xian's dancing on him. Hmmm..maybe he bathed in peanut butter this morning? Xian loves her some peanut butter. Danny, you're a lucky man. Cindra has to call out the best of the stripper dance competition, and she chooses Maurice and Xian as most-capable-of-making-asses-of-themselves. Awesome. I agree! I agree, CinderJenniferTilly.
Later that night (as evidenced by the insert shot of a moon over the model house- I love reality TV!) the boys have a little more boys time. Yeah, I know, hooters was taxing, as was sitting and getting rubbed up on by models, but these boys need to unwind! They work too hard, I say! They all talk about the models they think are the hottest. Well, hottest girl models. ( Sorry, J.P., we need a little more hetero idiocy injected into this JDMA episode ) Paul confesses that he has a boner for Traci because she's "cute, real sexy, real attractive in her own way." Right. She's bucking the standard of attractivity by being...tall and skinny and pretty. Real innovative, Paul. Still, Paul seems short and sweet, (Ha, puns, I'm awesome) and I sort of like him. He's too short to be a cocky douchebag, like other models I know (couch Maurice, cough, Fetal Alcohol). Peyton "don't like none of them." He was also wearing cutoff overalls and smoking a corn cob pipe. I think. No, I'm right. I mean, I don't have a still of it but I'm fucking correct. Chandler, still pissed about Xian getting all pigletty over Danny, says Crystal Trueheart is the hottest and Sorin gets all defensive, like the lame-ass that he is.
Tell 'em, Sorin.
Then we find out Chandler and Crystal slept in that weird fake boat last night together. You know, that boat in the middle of the pool. Apparently, there's a cabin in there where Traci and Xian store their snacks. It isn't too big, but Chandler and Crystal wedged themselves in. Ugh, Fetal Alcohol is such an asshole, now. Lame. He starts explaining to Sorin that he didn't actually sleep WITH Crystal, but next to her. Thanks, asshole. Do you think Crystal would actually sleep with you? I mean she's probably get a tax deduction for helping the disabled, but besides that....
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Comments (2)
Great recap, Mona!!! I really felt discusted that Gremlin came over the house and the prostitutes, I mean, models had to bump and grind and pop wood for his entertainment . . . very casting couch if you ask me . . .
That walk was ridonk, and as much as I like people who eat and are healthy and not all collar bone, it was delicious when Piggy and Mall Rat got called out for being size 2 (3-4?) in a zero sized world . . .
Whatta you think, does the short one have a chance in the dog eat dog modeling world, he's only 5'10" don't cha know . . .
1 of 2 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 7, 2008 11:39 AM
OMG OMG, i cant wait for the next recap. here's what happened ok.
chandler gets his ass whooped when he takes on the wrong plus size girl, What a douche, he got a taste of his own medicine after he insults alien girl and sorin for being russian and romanian! neway
JP awww, his like soo sad, he didnt wanna do the shoot cuz he says his a gay role model, since when? dude u came out, so did lance bass, so wat?
neway, Xian, hello girlfriend is called PLUS size by janice and she goes like crazy, and starts to simulate getting butt fucked by danny (MMMMM danny....)
so chandler douche gets pissed, Xian starts to rethink about chandler, cuz his showing his true colors, she said "i thought he was nice"
neway, so go see for asian lady lingerie, its like halloween sex party so yeah..
neway!! PLZ u guys need to do more...
and preview for next week!! DATE RAPE KEHOE is back... omg i luv him, bring him back!
and
2 of 2 | Posted by loopygorilla | Posted on October 12, 2008 7:16 AM