Dude, then Crystal comes into the kitchen and tells off Sorin for being a possessive dickwad. I do like her! Just stop touching Chandler, mmmkay? You might get some douchiness on you. Sorin goes to fetch Chandler, who doesn't have pants on in his room (Crystal dreamin'?) and comes downstairs. Crystal keeps denying any feelings for Chandler and Sorin goes back to trying to sexually assault Crystal. Back to normal, people!
Xian and Fetal Alcohol have a little chit chat later in the evening, and Xian talks about "killing a bitch in his sleep." Chandler, that is, for being all about the Crystal. Man, Xian. Don't make promises you can't keep. Geez, then she gets angry and talks about "deleting deleting deleting" people? Xian, are you in the Asian piglet mafia or something? Come clean, and I'l give you my snickers. That's a girl.
Ugh, so then they use the word "bitch" and "drama" a couple more times, and kiss. Gross. Ohh! But how about some more gross kisses? Let's move downstairs to Paul and Mallrat, where Paul finally makes his mooooove! And it's a lame one, folks. "Ever since I came into this house, I dunno, there's just something about you, I just thought if I didn't tell you it was going to drive me crazy, so..." Wow, I think we have another William Shakespeare, folks. Poor guy, he's so delightfully sincere and clueless.
I um, uhh, I could father your mallrat babies?
And then they kiss. And then Traci's a bitch because she decides she doesn't want to date him. I mean, come on, don't kiss a man and tell him you aren't into him. Maybe that works in the food court, but here in crazyville, that's just mean. And yeah, I know we're all here to work, but come on, it's the lamest excuse in the book, because everybody likes to work at GETTIN IT ON. I have a Ph.D. in it, for all you washboard-chested men out there who need a lovely lady to rub up on (especially you, Gavyn).
Sob...modeling comes first, anyway....
And on to the Merlin Castell fashion show rehearsal! The girls are all in white-face and oversized T shirts, reminding me of being an eighth grade mime. Ah, memories. CC slutty loves it, though because it's all about back bending and moving her little hips all over the place. Too bad she looked like an extra in "The Ring."
I'm going for the "trapped in a well" look.
Speaking of looking like an 8th grader....
Math is hard. Does anyone want a starburst?
Mia excels at the weird runway walk, and Selina is sick or something so she makes Gremlin angry. And you know what happens when Gremlin gets angry? That's right, you can't use the village drawbridge.
Just a little white-face girl talk.
As the show starts, Gremlin voices concern over the models. He also voices concern about the giant beanstalk in his back yard. What gives? Janice shows up WITH AN EYEPATCH, too, which is awesome. Really, really, ridiculously awesome, as if this fashion show couldn't get any more freakish.
Help, I'm trapped in a Botox Midget Pirate Fantasy Island Nightmare
Selina does okay, despite being ill, and the whole shebang.
Don't cough blood on the runway...don't cough blood on the runway...
I think this still is actually from Eyes Wide Shut
ARGH! And don't cough Ye blood on the Runway! Arggh!
Later, Gremlin gets drunk (off of Unicorn blood?) and spouts praise for the JDMA models. Geez, these fashion people, they're so fickle. Like when I tried to pick up the cashier at Ross Dress 4 Less....he was like, I'm married. And I was like, no you aren't. And he's like, I'm not? And then security escorted me out.
Next week on JDMA: Snakes on model penis! Snakes on model penis! Fat models and, Oh, something about Nadia being a bitch and going topless.
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Comments (2)
Great recap, Mona!!! I really felt discusted that Gremlin came over the house and the prostitutes, I mean, models had to bump and grind and pop wood for his entertainment . . . very casting couch if you ask me . . .
That walk was ridonk, and as much as I like people who eat and are healthy and not all collar bone, it was delicious when Piggy and Mall Rat got called out for being size 2 (3-4?) in a zero sized world . . .
Whatta you think, does the short one have a chance in the dog eat dog modeling world, he's only 5'10" don't cha know . . .
1 of 2 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 7, 2008 11:39 AM
OMG OMG, i cant wait for the next recap. here's what happened ok.
chandler gets his ass whooped when he takes on the wrong plus size girl, What a douche, he got a taste of his own medicine after he insults alien girl and sorin for being russian and romanian! neway
JP awww, his like soo sad, he didnt wanna do the shoot cuz he says his a gay role model, since when? dude u came out, so did lance bass, so wat?
neway, Xian, hello girlfriend is called PLUS size by janice and she goes like crazy, and starts to simulate getting butt fucked by danny (MMMMM danny....)
so chandler douche gets pissed, Xian starts to rethink about chandler, cuz his showing his true colors, she said "i thought he was nice"
neway, so go see for asian lady lingerie, its like halloween sex party so yeah..
neway!! PLZ u guys need to do more...
and preview for next week!! DATE RAPE KEHOE is back... omg i luv him, bring him back!
and
2 of 2 | Posted by loopygorilla | Posted on October 12, 2008 7:16 AM