Crystal, J.P. and Xian discuss that when Janice was modeling, you didn't have to be as skinny (right, Xian? Hmmm....) Crystal talks about how she lost a bunch of weight doing "healthy" things like living in a gym and writing down everything she ate. Nice. After the conversation, Xian leaves to pig out on foooood. It's good to know that lessons are being learned and advice taken here at the model house!
After her chowfest, Xian goes upstairs to canoodle with Chandler Fetal alcohol, but their romance seems to be fading after Xian realizes that he's not made of butterscotch puddin.' Xian professes that she'll make out with anyone- gay, straight, man, woman, gummi bear- because it's the "easiest thing to do" to flirt in the house. Yeah, know what else is easy to do? Imagine yourself bathing in peanut butter. Doesn't mean you should do it, Xian. No- not literally or figuratively...no- Danny especially, tries to get up in Xian, and he gets all date-rapey with his "she wanted more love, and I gave it to her." With his big, dumb smile. Oy.
Chandler comes downstairs wearing a sock on his head and professing his love for piglet.
Sigh. She liked to pretend I was a snickers bar...
Danny don't give a Sheeit about their relationship. At the end of the night, Payton and Danny both yell goodnight to the vixen Xian, goddest of heft and kisses.
The next morning, Andrew Christian comes back for a second foray into crazytown (really? JDMA gets repeat business? Wow.) So he sells underwear, eh? With butt-lifting technology? Tell me more. No, stop. I'm bored already. Saggy butts? Gross! Ivory, wanna demonstrate?
Andrew Christian was inspired by Danny Nunez's date-rape perfect ass, apparently, on the last photo shoot. Yeah, Danny's like the Ghandi of butts. He wants two guys and one girl to help show their butt-appreciation for the butt-tabulous product that is the wonderbuttbra for butts. So, who wil it be?
Dominic, Paul, Chandler and Christian get the pleasure of being finalists for underwear-butt lift-age, and I love Dominic talking inarticulately about his butt, feeling a little shy about it. Whatever, Dominic, own it.
I could make so many prison jokes right now....
As for the women, Erica, Nadia and CC pass the butt cutt but bitch-Nadia gets the gig from the three. Janice picks on Xian for being fat in front of the clients, and Xian feels weird about it. Nadia has to get frisky with the guys for the rest of the casting, and she feels weird about it probably because she's an uptight bitch. Right?
I'm planning on biting that finger off.
The client chooses Dominic and Christian and the rest of the models go relax by the pool. Ah, another day's work. It's a tough life.
Fetal Alcohol starts spouting all this patriot "I'm from America" song and dance to Polina, Saying she has communist intentions. Really? The only intentions I think Polina has is to polish off the carrot cake in the fridge later in the night. Crystal sees that the talk is bothering Polina and calls Fetal alcohol another Kehoe. Wow! Chandler into Kehoe, eh? Should've seen it coming, not enough asshole in the house at present. Gotta fill that quota, right folks?
Sorin gets pissy about Fetal Kehoe's jive-talkin' Eastern Europe and Fetal Kehoe tells the cameras that if you're "30 wearing a midriff for a living, that says a lot about you." And you know what? He's a dick, but he's right. Sorin, a midriff.
What kind of 401 K does Midriffery offer?
Later in the night (post Polina cake-binge, I assume) J.P. keeps feeling the age gap between him and the other models. Yeah, he's 32 and everyone's 25 and under, but come on. You're probably just as vapid as the rest...can't you guys bond over universal self-obseesedness?
The next day at the Andrew Christian photo shoot (at a Tattoo parlor, classy!) Dominic and Christian get a little gay and put their asses in each others' faces...for the camera. Yeah, right. You models love it!
Okay, you got me. I love it.
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Comments (4)
I could not believe Janice's reaction to the fatties, I mean plus size girls. I mean really, does she think fat is contagious? I wish/hope that one of the big girls slaps the crap out of her next episode. And what is up with her son's voice? Its creepy. Loved the recap!
1 of 4 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on October 14, 2008 6:08 PM
Oh yeah Happy Birthday lol.
2 of 4 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on October 14, 2008 6:10 PM
more and more this show just seems so set up . . . I doubt Lips was unaware that she needed plus sizes, I think they also needed house drama, and they sure got some of that . . .
I couldn't really focus on it at all, I so didn't care, and Xion . . . I'm with Lips on her, if you want to be a model, lose the weight, or at least be a fit model like Elle or something . . . . she's soooooo lazy . . . and frankly, all they have to do is sit around the house till they get called on a job, so hard, I could never find time to work out . . .
Thanks for the great recap tho, Mona, and I'm kind of glad the show's ending, but I will miss our special time together, so for that I'm sad . . . ."sniff"
Loved the hideous fish grab too, imagine kissing that . . .
3 of 4 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 15, 2008 4:54 PM
Glad you enjoyed my recaps, folks! I'm moving onto a new show, soon, but I'm all about making fun of the fatties (well, not really. Mostly just Xian). Yeah- it's totally staged.
Fish grad courtesy of Flipit!
4 of 4 | Posted by Monamonzano | Posted on October 16, 2008 3:35 AM