Alright folks, this is it. The Big Jericho Fall Finale Spectacular. Disconnect the phones, unplug the internet, bolt the doors, and lock the children back in their cages, because nothing should disturb you on this, the most wonderful night of the year.
Last week, Emily stole a generator, Gracie got stabbed real good, and Stanley finally got some ass. It's hard to tell who's really coming out on top here. But none of that matters now because it's election day! Who will take the top prize, our favorite incumbent Mayor McCheese? Or his scrappy nemesis, Grimace the Gray? The suspense is mildly engaging me!
Actually, I lied. It's one day before the election, according to the pre-title screen, and it's been 8 weeks "after the bombs". Weird phrasing. Looks like the writers' ten-year-old kids have been editing the script. Again. Hawkins is in his lair, receiving a message via the tubes in the interweb that the traitor has been identified and that he (Hawkins) is to make contact ASAP. But he's interrupted by little Sam. Hawkins demands to know what his kid has in his hand, and when Sam replies, "a football", Hawkins angrily snickers and growls "I KNOW that. What's it FOR?" Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed...of LIES. Sam wants Dad to teach him how to play football, which pisses Hawkins off even further. Father of the year, this one.
Jake, having successfully downed his dosage of crazy pills for the day, is now digging up "Jericho's First Well", according to a tablet on the ground. I love when plotlines are clearly outlined on festive little plaques. Emily shows up and they talk about the damn well. Emily says she can remember another first that happened right over there, pointing to what I'm thinking is the town square. This just leads me to believe that Emily and Jake once bumped uglies atop a giant float during the 46th Annual Jericho St. Patrick's Day Parade. Jake points out another first behind the alley of Bailey's Bar, and at this point it's all I can do to keep my Cheetos down. But apparently he's talking about Emily throwing up while singing a Sinead O'Connor song. Clearly. Emily asks about the deal with Heather, and Jake says he has no intention of hurting her. Emotionally, at least.
Dale discovers Gracie's bloody, crumpled body on the floor of her store. And she's not only merely dead. She's really most sincerely dead. Finally, Jericho grows a pair and offs a main-ish character. Will anyone miss her? Only time will tell. My guess is hell no. Mayor McCheese, Eric, and Gray discuss this new development. No witnesses, and, according to the Mayor, Dale isn't capable of doing this. Hey, just because Dale has yet to experience the joys of puberty doesn't mean he can't wield a knife.
Dale, fondling the breasts of a middle-aged dead woman. A proud moment.
Mitchell breaks up this little box social with the news that Jonah in fact killed Gracie, in order to prove to the rest of his peons that he's still, uh, solid. Everyone buys this for some reason and they agree to let Mitchell help them track down Jonah. Everyone but Gray. He still thinks Mitchell is a filthy Other and he doesn't trust him. He then rails on the Mayor, screaming that Jericho is not the same happy little town it has been for the past thirty years. Gray is about as likable as an Old Navy commercial.
Hurley's long lost Asian twin lives in Jericho!
Jake walks Emily home, needling her about the name of "their song". He compliments her house, which she says was the first one she and Roger looked at. "When you know what you want, why keep looking?" Jake croons, a line that is FRAUGHT WITH MEANING. Emily flits inside the house, while Jake makes a weird "I so want to hit that" face and leaves. But lo! Upon entering the house Emily is not greeted by a fresh Glade plug-in scent but by an armed and very bloody-armed Jonah. He orders her not to say a word. I like Jonah.
Focus, Jake.
Jake, having just learned about Gracie's slicing and dicing from, I don't know, the voices in his head, shows up at the town hall to see what's shakin'. The fam fills him in, and a general decision to hunt down Jonah is made, but not actually said out loud. I think they may have dropped a line or two. Or fourteen. No matter. Dale wants to come along on My First Manhunt, but Mama creepily says he can't go because she has to "talk" to him about something. Ew.
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Comments (6)
I noticed that Asian Hurley Dude too ... he was standing right in the middle of the stage during the swearing-in; I was like, "Who the hell is that?"
1 of 6 | Posted by dumbanddumber
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Posted on December 2, 2006 4:44 PM
Bravo! Another classic recap. In light of the invasion of the zombies, I'm almost sorry I switched over to the Heroes marathon. Almost.
Good thing they held that Thanksgiving food drive, or they wouldn't be able to feed all the refugees. See - Mama was thinking ahead! To think you were mocking her efforts last week, Screampillar!
2 of 6 | Posted by iamcoyote
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Posted on December 2, 2006 7:18 PM
Nice recap.
They must have dropped some election scenes in favor of the ass-slapping scenes. Good choice.
I hope they get more focused on the results of the attack rather than developing some of the more boring local situations.
3 of 6 | Posted by soflat
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Posted on December 4, 2006 7:58 AM
AGAIN, this was so much better than the show.
I was upset at the election too and confused about the deaf girl and the high school boy - how old is she? Is she in high school? Because having to take care of herself when she was, like, 4, seems a bit rough??
4 of 6 | Posted by CrazyTrain
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Posted on December 4, 2006 11:49 AM
Is that Burt Reynolds in the screencap of Jericho's mutated citizenry??
5 of 6 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on December 4, 2006 12:47 PM
Great recap. Many laugh out loud moments.
Mandymax, I thought he looked like Burt Reynolds, too.
This show is so campy, I watch for the stupid plots, funny facial expressions, and great recaps to follow.
Thanks.
6 of 6 | Posted by may1
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Posted on December 4, 2006 2:44 PM