Back to the present. The gang is in a meeting at city hall, and we are informed that New Bern has taken over a farm, and that Jericho is vastly outnumbered and outgunned. Gulp. Papa insists that they need to stick together, that splitting up across town would just be a bad idea. They decide to head off to Stanley's farm and make a final stand there, amongst the chicken carcasses that Mimi has left behind. Mango margaritas for all!

There is a brief shot of the New Berners mobilizing their trucks. The camera pans out to reveal an enormous convey stretching out forever. Gulp.

The line to see Georgia Rule

Sixty miles away, on some random state route, there are a handful of dead people chillaxing on the side of the road. A handful of troops survey the scene, then notice that one person is still alive. And that person is...Heather. Fantastic. We'll have a fertilizer-fueled ice machine up and running in no time.

Flashback to the wedding. Jake, his grandfather, Emily, and Stanley have all ditched the reception and are getting plastered at Mary Bailey's bar. Grandpa tells a story about how, in World War II, there was a small town trying to defend themselves, and they were totally outnumbered. The opposing general sent a note that gave them a choice: fight or die, or surrender and live. The American sent a note back that simply said, "Nuts." As in fuck you. Or possibly they misunderstood the question and answered which ice cream topping they like best. Either way, IT'S A METAPHOR. It won't be the last. Mama tracks them all down and pulls them back to the reception. She stops Jake and gives him a set of notes for his best man speech to Eric. He shows her that he already has some. But honestly, it's just a drawing of a cow.

"What do you mean, I'm 'Johnny Depping' all over the place?"

Hawkins informs Jake and Papa that he has a military satellite. Bwah? That would have been helpful, oh, in EVERY SINGLE SITUATION PRECEDING THIS WAR. I guess Hawkins kinda sucks. He tells them they can use it to track the New Berners, on one condition: no one can know that this information is coming from him. Well, this isn't shady at all. Papa is on board! Jake is surprised that he's not asking any more questions, and Papa then wins the prize for best line of the night: "I am about to go to war with New Bern, Kansas. The home of the nearest Costco. Today is already just about as weird as I can handle." Hehe. I love Papa. I hope he's around for a loooooong time.

"I just love their savings!"

Stanley, Mimi, and Bonnie are out in the back of their field, paying respects to Stanley and Bonnie's dead parents. Stanley introduces them to Mimi, who says hello and "It's nice to finally meet you." Hehe. She goes on to say that she has enjoyed living with Stanley, and he fake-freaks out, saying that he hasn't told them that yet. Mimi gets scared for a moment, then sees that he was joking, then stabs him through the heart with a pointy umbrella. Wait, no. Different movie (starring Skeet Ulrich!).

« Recap: Double, Double Toil and Trouble; Fire Burn, and Cauldron Bubble | | Get Out Of My Dreamz, Get Into My Car »

Posted in Jericho by Screampiller at 3:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: CrazyTrain on May 19, 2007 01:46 PM.

Comments (6)

iamcoyote :

No, thank you for the recaps. You're the only reason I continued watching the show! It coulda been good, but they decided to make the show stupid instead. There was nothing else to do but amuse ourselves with the mocking of it. I can't imagine they'd renew this dang thing, but then, survivor keeps coming back, so anything's possible. Thanks again for your great recaps!

1 of 6 | Posted by iamcoyote | Posted on May 12, 2007 10:51 AM

tvaholic :

As one of your 3 loyal readers, I thank you for your recaps. I have to say if it doesn't get renewed I'll be a little irked-I need closure dammit! How about just a 2-hour movie instead?

Something about Hawkins has been bugging me & I figured it out last week-what is up with his Captain Kirk-style of line delivery? Oddly placed pauses, over-done facial expressions, and overacting in general-all seriously annoying.

2 of 6 | Posted by tvaholic | Posted on May 14, 2007 8:48 AM

15minutes :

I guess I must be Reader #3 -- great recap! I stopped watching the actual show and just read your recaps because you are too funny!!

3 of 6 | Posted by 15minutes | Posted on May 14, 2007 1:13 PM

mandymax :

Reader #4 (and actual "Jericho" viewer)! From all I've heard, the show IS returning in the fall, although from the sounds of the gunfire at the end - and the way they keep killing characters off - it's hard to believe there'd be anyone left to populate the place.

4 of 6 | Posted by mandymax | Posted on May 15, 2007 6:27 AM

BugMom22 :

I must be viewer #5 and I certainly hope the show does return in the fall and I think I too will watch next season drunk. Hawkins talks like Kirk because he's English and I think the slow speech is him trying to control his accent. Can't wait for the new season of NEW BERN

5 of 6 | Posted by BugMom22 | Posted on May 15, 2007 4:46 PM

CrazyTrain :

Yeah #6 here!
I'm sad this was canceled, the cliffhanger did get me!
I'll miss your recaps - hope you do a different show this fall!

6 of 6 | Posted by CrazyTrain | Posted on May 19, 2007 1:46 PM

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