Back at the house, Fat Cop informs Papa that they have a total of two hundred men, including Dale's group. A few more are trickling in as they finish saying goodbye to their families, but the point is they're pretty much screwed. They begin heading out to the field, and Grey starts to go with them, but Papa stops him, saying that they elected him leader and he needs to be protected at all costs, so he will be staying back at the house. Also, Papa needs him to help arm the TANK. Finally. I was beginning to wonder if they forgot about that thing, like it was sitting in a storage closet somewhere collecting dust amongst a pile of board games and soiled hats.
We find out that Allison has been stationed at City Hall, while Darcy gets to stay at home to watch Sam and follow Hawkins' shady dealings. He gets the satellite up and running, then radios over to Jake that the New Berners are coming already, causing Jake to alert his men. Hawkins then notices that his actions are being tracked and someone is trying to trace his location. He tells Darcy that his guess is that it's Valenti, the former head of Homeland Security. She tells him to shut down immediately, but he tells her that it should be fine as long as he disconnects the feed before the trace is finished. How very 24 of you, show.
"This is so much FUN!"
Heather wakes up in a hospital bed, then gets up and makes her way outside. She finds herself in a giant army base, with plenty of army dudes swarming everywhere. A subtitle informs us that this is Camp Liberty, in southwest Nebraska. Heather looks confused. Though, let's be honest, Hot Pockets confuse Heather as well.
Team Jericho is still sitting around, waiting for New Bern to show up. Finally, two men appear in the distance. For a moment I think that these are just two random country bumpkins who have stumbled onto the wrong piece of land at the wrong time, but no, after looking around they signal to someone behind them and the trucks start rolling in. Team Jericho, surprised at their numbers, scramble out and take their positions. "We're gonna need that tank," mutters Eric. Oh, Eric. Shut up. The shots cut back and forth between Jake and the New Bern sniper, who at long last takes the first few shots.
Flashback to the wedding. Eric approaches Jake and also tries to give him a prepared speech, because he doesn't want him to ruin his special day. He calls Jake's life a joke, and says that people wonder what the hell he's doing. He came home from flight school and then did nothing. Jake pulls it out of Eric that he didn't choose him as his best man, that Mama made him. So Eric was a total wuss back then as well. And here we are, six years later, and he still hasn't grown a pair.
Team Jericho is still fighting. They have to hold out until the tank gets there, so Jake tells everyone to keep drawing fire. He runs up a nearby hill to go get a better shot.
Hawkins is watching all of this on his satellite. Darcy should go make popcorn or something. Instead, she bugs him about why the government would want to eliminate the witnesses. Hawkins points out that he has the last bomb, which, as Darcy puts it, is "the smoking gun behind the greatest crime in the history of the world." Darcy has quite the penchant for the melodramatic.
Jake finally arrives at the top of the hill. He manages to take out the New Bern sniper. Then there is more shooting, until...the tank arrives! The peasants rejoice! Upon seeing the tank, the New Berners proceed to soil themselves and run away comically. The tank slowly turns and fires, blowing up a truck. Team Jericho celebrates, but the mirth and merriment is cut short when Jake and Eric realize that dear Papa has been shot.
Jericho + Tank = Hilarious Deadly Hijinks
They bring him into Stanley's kitchen and lay him out on the counter. I think it's safe to say that Mimi won't be making any more Headless Chicken Surprise there for a while. They clean the wound and apply pressure, while Emily is sent to go get Dr. Kenchy. Surely the apathetic, alcoholic doctor will be able to help! Hawkins radios in and informs Jake that they have a little bit of time to regroup, since the New Berners are just waiting for more men to assemble right now, so the Greens should have just enough time to squeeze in a tearful goodbye.
"I'm acting!"
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Comments (6)
No, thank you for the recaps. You're the only reason I continued watching the show! It coulda been good, but they decided to make the show stupid instead. There was nothing else to do but amuse ourselves with the mocking of it. I can't imagine they'd renew this dang thing, but then, survivor keeps coming back, so anything's possible. Thanks again for your great recaps!
1 of 6 | Posted by iamcoyote
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Posted on May 12, 2007 10:51 AM
As one of your 3 loyal readers, I thank you for your recaps. I have to say if it doesn't get renewed I'll be a little irked-I need closure dammit! How about just a 2-hour movie instead?
Something about Hawkins has been bugging me & I figured it out last week-what is up with his Captain Kirk-style of line delivery? Oddly placed pauses, over-done facial expressions, and overacting in general-all seriously annoying.
2 of 6 | Posted by tvaholic
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Posted on May 14, 2007 8:48 AM
I guess I must be Reader #3 -- great recap! I stopped watching the actual show and just read your recaps because you are too funny!!
3 of 6 | Posted by 15minutes
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Posted on May 14, 2007 1:13 PM
Reader #4 (and actual "Jericho" viewer)! From all I've heard, the show IS returning in the fall, although from the sounds of the gunfire at the end - and the way they keep killing characters off - it's hard to believe there'd be anyone left to populate the place.
4 of 6 | Posted by mandymax
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Posted on May 15, 2007 6:27 AM
I must be viewer #5 and I certainly hope the show does return in the fall and I think I too will watch next season drunk. Hawkins talks like Kirk because he's English and I think the slow speech is him trying to control his accent. Can't wait for the new season of NEW BERN
5 of 6 | Posted by BugMom22
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Posted on May 15, 2007 4:46 PM
Yeah #6 here!
I'm sad this was canceled, the cliffhanger did get me!
I'll miss your recaps - hope you do a different show this fall!
6 of 6 | Posted by CrazyTrain
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Posted on May 19, 2007 1:46 PM