Recap: Jericho: A Bridge To Bar - 
by Screampillar
But first, a brief recap of last week. And by "brief", I mean "lengthy", and by "last week", I mean "the entire series". It's pretty much the exact same thing each week. It's almost as if this crack squad of a writing team is putting so much effort and thought into their carefully-crafted scripts that they don't have any time left over for the recaps. But something tells me that isn't the case. And that something is called "common sense". Anyway, the Green brothers stole some medicine in order to save their father, and in the process invoked the wrath of the mysterious Ravenwood, a group of mercenaries led by the irrepressible D.B. Sweeney. Join me, won't you?
We begin tonight's episode with a glimpse into the soul of the powerfully-eyebrowed Emily. She wakes up in a perfect, sun-drenched bed in a perfect, sun-drenched room with her perfect, sun-drenched fiancée walking about and getting dressed. He tells her that his parents aren't thrilled with the accommodations of the one and only bed-and-breakfast in Jericho. Yes, Jericho has a bed-and-breakfast. You know, so if you're sick of staying in a mansion overlooking Cape Cod, you can come out to Kansas and stay in a barn that overlooks, I don't know, a cow. Emily starts an impromptu pillow fight, as the two lovebirds joke around about where they will be living after the wedding. Emily wants to live in Jericho because she doesn't approve of the city, which is plagued by traffic, pollution, and crime. See, because in Jericho, there's no traffic because the cars don't work, no pollution because radiation kills everything, and no crime because – no wait, crime has tripled ever since the bombs. Great choice, EMILY. Roger, the fiancée, asks her about five times if she's sure that's what she wants, when suddenly – Emily wakes up to the real world in her cold, lonely, and painfully non-sun-drenched bedroom.
In another, shadier part of town, it looks like the boys from Ravenwood are loudly gathering outside someone's house. This wakes up Bonnie, which means that… yes! Stanley is back! Our favorite village idiot comes stumbling out the front door with a shotgun, with Bonnie and Mimi following. He tells them to go back inside, and they listen, for some reason (well, Mimi listens, deaf Bonnie just…draws a conclusion, I guess). Deebee tells Stanley that Ravenwood is from the federal government and they're just checking to make sure that people have everything they need. When he asks about Eric Green, Stanley plays dumb (real stretch there), and throws him off the trail. Deebee looks really sad for a moment and then mopes away.
"So, this gig plug a guest spot on House still constitutes an acting career, right? Right?"
Back at the Mayor's Mansion, Jake is sleepy after having stayed up all night waiting for Ravenwood, or, more likely, Santa Claus. Jake asks Eric if he spilled the beans to April about all of the adultery yet, but Eric says it wasn't the right time. Well, you know what Eric, it's never going to be the right time. Then Jake says that it's never…going to be the...right…time. Ah! Jake and I shared the same thought! Unclean! Unclean! Thankfully at this moment the Stanley family arrives to spread the word that some ruffians have arrived in town. Eric tells them it's Ravenwood, and when they ask who that is, Jake weirdly says "Mercenaries" while looking down and furiously moving his hand. Wtf? Jake, this is neither the time nor the place. Satisfy your mercenary lust on your own time.
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