Testimonials

Back at the Jericho Police Headquarters Clubhouse, the ragtag team of "law enforcement" discusses the Ravenwood situation. They should look into getting a Situation Room installed. Jake informs them that the Ravenimps were sent by FEMA but have since gone into business for themselves, looting and killing like maniacs. And now they've set their sights on our fair Jericho. Well, Jake won't let that happen. He decides that they should fortify the Tacoma Bridge on the east side of town. Stanley is not too keen on this idea, as he lives on the other side of the bridge along with about thirty other people. What will they do? They'll come over to this side where it's safe, demands Jake. So bossy.

So we’re all agreed. America does run on Dunkin.

Back at the Greenhouse, Mama tries to feed her ailing husband, but April launches into a flying tackle and stops her. Add another notch to the "April is evil" column. It appears as though the mayor's blood pressure is stabilizing, and he should be fine. In the spirit of celebration, Mama offers April some mashed black-eyed peas. Huzzah! April declines because the morning sickness has started to kick in, but I think that's just a cover-up for a head-spinning, projectile-pea-soup-vomiting episode. When April admits that she still hasn't told Eric about the little bundle of terse hatred growing within her, Mama snaps a little and says "We're talking about my first grandchild. NOW. TELL. HIM." all with this very creepy smile on her face. Mama may be evil too.

The Dukes of Hazard are over at the Tacoma bridge, where Jake is yelling all sorts of nonsensical directions. Why are you people still listening to him?! He's a frakin' idiot! Hawkins is able to draw the conclusion that Jake has dealt with Ravenwood before, and then questions his motives. To his face. Oh no you di'in't. They both engage in an intense brood-off, and everyone loses, especially the audience.

Back in the Fantasy Land of Puppy Dogs and Sunshine, Emily is admiring her wedding dress, that which she was supposed to be wearing on this, her wedding day. The soundtrack croons sadly. Suddenly, there is a knock on the door and oh no! It's Heather the Schizo! She's waving bags of fertilizer and screaming about ice! Actually, no, she's wielding a bouquet of flowers, apparently the "closest she could find to a wedding bouquet". This just further proves her insanity, as the flowers more closely resemble a diseased patch of weeds. And surprisingly, Heather was also supposed to be Emily's maid of honor, which just confuses me more. I didn't even realize that these two were friends. All this time I thought they were just barely tolerating each other because they were thrown together into an impossible situation. But no, they're BFFS. To prove this, Heather, now thoroughly unglued, decides to kidnap Emily and take her on a day of fun. You know, to take her mind off the fact that her fiancée is missing and probably dead.

What the fuck is this?

At the Tacoma Bridge, Jake's minions are barricading the road with…cars. And not fully functional cars. Broken down shit that they have to drag into place. Whatever. Jake guesses that Hawkins has dealt with Ravenwood before as well, which Hawkins neither confirms nor denies. He does, however, tell Jake he's in over his head. Well, duh. He's attempting to accomplish a simple task. Of course there's the strong possibility of failure. Also, is Hawkins really threatened by the merry Ravenwood folk? They really don't seem all that threatening to me. I mean, so far the scariest thing they've done is bring D.B. Sweeney back from the dead.

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Posted in Jericho by Screampiller at 12:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: soflat on Nov 29, 2006 12:16 PM.