The 24-font titles say it’s been one month since the bombs went off, as Jake and Eric continue on their Drive of Life. Wait, have they been driving for a week? Last week it said – oh never mind, my brain hurts. They rocket past a dead girl on the side of the road, where it is revealed to us that Eric has a Conscience, whereas Jake probably waved bye-bye to most essential brain functions years ago. The Hawkinses are baking, which is I guess all you can do when you have no gas or electricity or credibility anymore. Mama Hawkins informs her husband that Gray is here, and not just for a friendly house call. Which is a real shame, because Gray bursting through the door with a basket full of pasta and cookies would be just adorable. Jake and Eric continue to bicker in the car, and Jake insists that they take the back roads because he “spent most of his teenage years” driving them. Really, Jake? No school, girls, movies, afternoons at the local soda shop? Just driving around the back roads for kicks? I guess this explains how he came to develop the only facial expression in his arsenal other than bewilderment: the Driving Face, which is also used to convey anger, sadness, and constipation. Eric and Jake agree to do whatever it takes to get the medicine, then cock their guns and hitch up their pants and spit. Because they’re MEN.

“I need more fiber in my diet.”

Five weeks later, the boys are still on the road. Eric asks some questions about Jake’s Past, which for those of you just joining us is very Shifty and Mysterious and Uninteresting. Eric berates Jake for leaving his family, but oh ho! Jake turns it right around and scolds Eric for cheating on his wife! The battle of wits has begun!

Gray is now interrogating Hawkins, who tries to weasel his way out by saying that his family was just about to eat dinner. Yeah. With the imaginary food they just cooked in their imaginary working oven. Gray asks Hawkins if he had anything to do with the attacks. Of course he did, Gray! He’s black, isn’t he? In Kansas! He may as well be wearing his ‘I’m a terrorist’ sandwich board and ringing his bell! Despite Hawkins’ meager protests, Gray muscles his way into the rest of his house.

Your foliage camouflage headdress isn’t fooling anyone, Jimmy.

Back at the ole Mayor’s Deathbed, April reassures Mama McCheese that her husband only has twelve hours to live. Well, Mazel Tov! Heather arrives with some useless supplies, and Emily is also there, for some unexplained reason. I guess half the town is showing up to watch the Mayor kick the bucket. They should just start selling popcorn. Heather comes up with the ridiculous plan of making ice without a freezer, using just water and fertilizer. Now I’m no scientician, so I don’t know how possible this is (I googled ‘how to make ice’, but got mostly links on how to make meth. Five days later, here I am, but I don’t know where my pants are). I think the least believable thing here is that Heather thinks she can do this. I’m pretty sure Heather is one of those people who forgets that socks come before shoes. I don’t think that amateur chemistry is something she should really be taking a crack at. Mama correctly looks at her as if she has just declared that Pepsi and Coke are the same thing, but goes along with this little scheme anyway because, hey, they’ve all got twelve hours to kill.

“Who let you into my house?”