Anderson tells Rod about his apocalyptic journey to hell, aka Topeka where people feared that the bombs were the beginning of a foreign invasion. Turns out the bombs were not dropped on us but rather detonated from within the country. He knows this because in New York someone suspicious was caught with a truck full of whatever it is that makes up a nuclear bomb. So riddle me this, Rod, how did they get this stuff into the country without some help from inside? That IS a very good question, but I kind of think that Anderson is too dumb to have thought of it. Rod being the bad ass manipulator that he is responds, “Do you really think that I was the mastermind behind the largest terrorist attack in the history of the world?!” and Anderson replies, “Were you?” Oh snap! They both awkwardly laugh it off but you can tell that neither of them trusts each other. Rod’s stares at him as if to say, I know you think you know what you know but you don’t know what you think you know because I know what you want to know. At least that’s what I’m hearing in the subtext.
Back at PapaSmurf’s mushroom mansion April tells Gail that PapaSmurf can only last for another 12 hours based on his condition. What is his condition you ask? He has the flu. My vote is to keep the man in a coma so that we don’t have to hear his judgmental tones. Emily appears to be kicking it with the Greens since her only living relative is blackmailing the town for food. Heather shows up with a brown bag of food that she has magically pulled from her ass. Seriously, wasn’t there a food shortage! Come on writers! Small talk ensues and Heather waxes on about the joys of processed cheese. Apparently it doesn’t need to be refrigerated. Another useless fact! Also no electricity means no ice to bring down PapaSmurf’s fever. Let’s just take a moment to process this. Their country is under attack and these 2 women are chit chatting about processed cheese and ice. SERIOUSLY! Cue the hail storms and locust already! Heather seems to remember a science fair project that a student did where they made ice. Who knew those old science projects would ever come in handy! Imagine if someone was like “If only I had a model volcano, I could save my dad’s life.” Then I could be like…wait, get me some clay, baking soda, and food coloring! I can do this! The women unite to make ice!
It appears that the Brothers Green have arrived in Rogue River which has been totally abandoned. The houses are also empty and it’s very Twilight Zone. See, THIS is what nuclear holocaust looks like. I bet Rogue River didn’t celebrate Halloween. Anyways all of the houses have neon orange X’s on them that says the date FEMA came (10/25, for anyone keeping a timeline) the number of people found alive, and the number of people found dead. This clearly means that FEMA evacuated these houses so there is still some sort of government in control. Skeet gets really pissed as he realizes that FEMA did not evacuate until a month after the bomb dropped, which would account for all the 0’s for the number of people alive. Shed a tear, light a candle.
They finally roll up to the hospital to get their much needed meds when they see tons of neon colored papers strewn about the parking lot letting them know that the water in Rogue River is contaminated. I recognize that color paper! Something tells me FEMA made a quick stop at their local FedEx/Kinko’s! My mind begins to stray from the plot as I reminisce about the time I made counterfeit high school graduation tickets at Kinko’s and sold them to my fellow class mates. Let’s all have a little “le sigh” moment for the good old days. Suddenly someone starts shooting at the Brother’s Green from above, and they run into the hospital. The hospital is totally jacked up with dead bodies everywhere.
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Comments (12)
OMFG I cannot believe you made a reference to the Cutting Edge! TOE PICK! Seriously the use of that phrase alone gets you my vote.
1 of 12 | Posted by Kettering
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Posted on November 15, 2006 9:39 PM
Oh yeah, and also, I love the nickname Mohinder Lite. So true.
2 of 12 | Posted by Kettering
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Posted on November 15, 2006 9:41 PM
why is it that all these shows seem to be following LOSTS lead. Theres some absurd convoluted story line that isn't really the story line, and you have to plow through week after week to even have half an idea as to whats going on.
thanks for the short version.
Ice for everyone !!!
3 of 12 | Posted by mrbwood2you
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Posted on November 15, 2006 10:40 PM
wait. I wasn't finished. there was a bomb...when?.
good recap.
4 of 12 | Posted by mrbwood2you
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Posted on November 15, 2006 10:46 PM
this recap is awesome! so funny! my favorite line: "wheat thins, the panacea for all heartache." you may be the only person to make that comparison, like, ever. (unless it is a reference that i am too dumb to catch? but i don't think so.) also, classic reference to the best early-90's show ever! the jessie spano caffeine pill freakout is unforgettable...
5 of 12 | Posted by kelly
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Posted on November 16, 2006 1:46 AM
Not bad.
TOE PICK!
6 of 12 | Posted by CrazyTrain
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Posted on November 16, 2006 11:42 AM
so many good references! but you still kept the plot understandeable. Nice job.
7 of 12 | Posted by mexshecan
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Posted on November 16, 2006 1:10 PM
this is for sers one of the funniest recaps i have read. any recapper who references 'the cutting edge' truly has their finger on the pulse of pop culture. this recapper has the potential to inspire people to watch this crappy show just in order to understand the awesome recaps. totes hilar!
8 of 12 | Posted by thetorta
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Posted on November 16, 2006 2:58 PM
Apparently you didn't get the memo about calling Skeet by his character name. It's very distracting and not conducive to the recap. No vote for you!
9 of 12 | Posted by Vixen
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Posted on November 16, 2006 3:34 PM
Awesome recap, bravo!
10 of 12 | Posted by Zharak
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Posted on November 17, 2006 10:46 AM
This was an awesome recap. I don't know anyone else who can weave this many (semi)obscure pop references into a recap AND make an awful show like Jericho bearable. You get my vote.
11 of 12 | Posted by Organchito
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Posted on November 18, 2006 10:34 AM
H2H cracked me up. please don't be mad if i "borrow" that.
great review of a really crap show.
12 of 12 | Posted by ludobbs
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Posted on November 20, 2006 1:55 PM