Hey, Jericho. I hear you've been hanging out with Lost over at Winter-Hiatusville. Well, you've had your fun and now it's time to get back to business. I mean, without your crazy conspiracy theories, your terrible writing, and your endless supply of ridiculous Skeet faces, we've been...well actually we've been doing just fine without you. But you're back now and that's something we're all going to have to live with.
In case you've put all this foolishness out of your head completely, and who could blame you, feel free to catch up with my summary of what's happened so far. Basically, a shitload of bombs went off. This created a lot of confusion, anger, and despair. And the characters were a little dazed too.
We begin with Hawkins acting creepy at his computer. Nice to know some things never change. But as the stolen-from-24 font informs us, we're now heading off to 8 weeks earlier. Yes, the good old days, a time when we hadn't yet had the opportunity of beholding Britney Spears' creepily bumpy skull. Ah, memories. We're in San Diego, 26 hours before the bombs. Jake is interviewing for a job as a corporate jet pilot. (Is that the right title for that job?) We find out that he has spent 14 months in Afghanistan and 6 in Iraq, not as part of the military, but with an independent contractor. He's been flagged by the State Department as a "person of interest", as the result of some sort of mysterious "incident". Jake "gets" all squirrelly, as he is wont to do, and won't reveal the whys and hows and whatnots of the situation. So he doesn't get the job and he's kicked to the curb like the lazy bum that he is.
We then cut over to Hawkins in Washington, D.C. The TV informs us that the President's approval ratings have hit rock bottom. So grittily realistic, this show. Hawkins is at his computer, which I'm becoming more and more convinced is actually surgically attached to him, when a girl in a nightshirt approaches him. At first glance she looks to me like Katie Holmes, but at second glance I realize that's completely wrong and that I should make some sort of eye doctor appointment. We find out her name is Sara, and that they are in looooove. Or something. He tells her he's been summoned to get into position, but he doesn't know where yet. Then he gets an Important Phone Call, which he answers with such a powerful "YES?" you'd think he's speaking to the King of the Cosmos.
Somewhere, trucks exist. They are being loaded with, uh, nuclear bombs I guess. A man's voice informs us that the bombs are armed and the targets have been secured. Hawkins opens an envelope that has money and a card with "Columbus, OH" written on it. So this group of bumpkins are going to blow up the country? Really? What about the Russians and the Chinese and everything? Jeez, Jericho, I guess you did get a little cozy with Lost. You naughty girl, you. The man tells them that the bombs will go off at 8:05am EST (yep, checks out) and to look around at each other, because "these are the faces of the men who will change the world." ROCK.
Ooh, happier times in Jericho! Schoolchildren are riding their bikes and romping around in a carefree manner! It's 33 hours before the bombs. Eric is whining to his father, so I guess that WASN'T a side effect of the nuclear bombs. Sucks to be Eric. He's trying to convince the Mayor to put Jericho on the map but Daddy doesn't want corporate America to come in and rape his precious town of its quaintness. Eric insists "there are worse things than vente frappucinos," to which the Mayor snaps, "Speak English!" Um hello Mayor, it's called Fritalian. Mama Green appears (yay) with April in tow (boo) to force her husband into getting a physical, what with the colds they've both been battling. Plot point! I yell.
Yep, still wooden!
Back in California, Jake arrives at some sort of cabana to complain to his friend, Fernando Sucre's long lost cousin. NotSucre whistles at some girl, so she approaches to give him some lip but we find out they're engaged. This is really interesting.
Sara is on Hawkins' ruggedized laptop, perusing the list of final targets. Hawkins calls to tell her the schedule has changed and that the bombs will now be going off the next day, during the President's address. Oh, and that he's running off to rescue his children. Sara is infuriated. Because she hates children. And probably eats babies.
The American Idol audition cities are in for a big surprise next season.
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Comments (5)
"What on earth does a six-year-old need a cell phone for?"
I assume the cell phone was so he could call his mom in case his scary dad showed up to kidnap him. Nice job, shrimp.
Screampillar, this is the second show I've started watching because you're recapping it.
1 of 5 | Posted by brilliantmistake![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 25, 2007 6:41 PM
Well, I'm one of the two people who watch and enjoy this show. :)
Having said that, 1) I also wondered what on earth a six-year-old needs a cell phone for, and 2) The screencaps are hysterical! Love it!
2 of 5 | Posted by mandymax![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 26, 2007 6:49 AM
Yes! The entire time I was watching I, too, was looking forward to this recap. You never disappoint!! I was actually relieved it wasn't a Smashisode this week. Was a nice change!
Again - love love LOVE your recaps. Great job.
3 of 5 | Posted by dainsey![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 26, 2007 8:17 AM
SCREAMPILLAR ROCKS!!!!!
4 of 5 | Posted by james_woods_rules![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 27, 2007 4:56 PM
YEAH, BUT THE SHOW SUCKS!!!!!!IT'S LIKE PUTTING A DIAMOND IN A GOAT'S ASS.
5 of 5 | Posted by Tony A.![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 28, 2007 8:06 AM