Finally let me get to the speech. If I had one perfectly specific adjective for it, it would be: "good." Actually it's a fine speech and you can tell Bruce has tons of experience giving motivational speeches. But, apparently his retarded step-children, or at least Khloe, is surprised. Who would have thought that someone who's probably been doing this for at least 25 years or so (whenever the Wheaties money started thinning out) would be good at it? I'm possibly more in disbelief than Khloe! Only because I have a diagnosed learning disorder!
Are you a gullible person? Do you just believe what people tell you to without question? Even if this is the case, you would easily see through this show's bullshit. Have I mentioned that enough? So, duh, Kim is enjoyed coffee by herself and she gets a call from Rob. Where is Rob? Some bookstore/newsstand, and he's laughing because there's Kim's calendar! You see, it was released, and Kim had no idea whatsoever! That's, like, totes for reals you guys! And completely possible!
So, Kim tells Rob to buy all of the calendars. Of course. Because I'm sure it hasn't been released nationwide or anything. Also, I thought the pictures in it looked familiar, but I'm pretty positive they were released online last week. Or a few weeks ago. Or who cares.
Kim tracks down Kris, and asks where the calendars have been distributed. Kris rattles off six places or so, for now. Kim is angry. Because it was her special gift for Reggie. She should have just saved her time and made him a sex tape. Kim doesn't like Kris's argument, so she stomps off, probably to "go" try to "buy" the "rest" of the "calendars." And sure enough, she is. I like the thought of there being no distribution fees or anything, and then they didn't sell them to stores, who then mark up the prices. So it's totally believable that Kim has to pay full price for her own fucking calendar, thus losing her money in the process. Shit, sorry guys, let me turn my common sense back off.
Hey Kim! It's Rob! I just jerked off to your pic again! Congrats! You're a star!
Oops, let me leave it on for a second. Rob and Kim go together rather than spread out and cut time in half. Kim also says out loud "it's so embarrassing." Yeah, it's really embarrassing to have your face all over you vapid fame-whore. What would be embarrassing would be buying all the copies of your sex tape. But maybe if you ignore it it's not really there.
Kim says at some point in there that she doesn't know how she's going to get Kris back, but she will. Back at the house, Kris bitches to either Kendall or Kylie about how Kim gets her down. Preaching to the choir Kris. Whoever the daughter is she's talking to has no response to make Kris feel better though. Actually, I take that back. She repeatedly bounces her head into Kris's boob, saying, "Your boob is really squishy." Note to self: practice new method for helping chicks feel better.
Kim comes home and bitches to Kris. Because really that's about all she ever does to Kris. She tells her that if one other person bought any calendars, then the gift for Reggie is ruined. But I'm relatively confident you can find that stupid calendar for sale somewhere anyways, so who cares. We see Kim call Reggie and he says he loves the present and he was totally surprised. He also says it's hanging on his refrigerator as we speak. He sounds totally grateful too. Grateful like "wow, thanks for something I already saw and was actually way better in person. I'm glad you're not vain."
Remember when Kim said she would get Kris back? I don't blame you if you don't, I think I was in some sort of coma when I actually was typing about it. But last season, Kris was in a racy photoshoot that Kim set up for her. So Kim blackmails Kris, saying for $5000, she can have the picture back. She totally went through with it! Isn't this show awesome?
I want my own calender! No fair!
It appears that I've been had, because I thought/hoped this week would be the last episode of the season. But apparently that is not the case. Unfortunately. Anyways, what did you think of the episode? Did you believe any of it? Are Kris's boobs really that squishy?
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Comments (1)
Please find a new recapper for next season. This show is funny and yes, insulting to the general public's intelligence, but find a recapper who actually enjoys watching it and can actually entertain the reader with their snark. "Kim's a vapid whore"..."Khloe looks like a man"..."This is all staged"...Really? How insightful.
The recaps would be a lot better with some humor and witty observations (vs. stating the obvious).
I'm usually in the camp that gets annoyed with these types of posts, and my reaction is typically "well...don't read the recap." But I wanted to comment because I hope a different writer recaps this show next season.
1 of 1 | Posted by msu11y28 | Posted on May 23, 2008 9:10 AM