This week on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kim shops too much, Kourt probably does something but who cares, Khloe gets asked to pose for Peta and Meltyface pisses me off. Let's get right to it!
This week starts out with Kourt and Khloe at a cosmetic surgeons office. It seems Khloe feels she is a lard ass and wants to do something about it. She tells the Dr. that when she waves at someone her arm should not be waving too. And she shows her.
It's like a tidal wave of LARD!
Khloe doesn't want to go so far as lipo so the doc suggests a procedure called Velashape. Apparently Kim has had it on her ass. Kourt tells us that Khloe has always had body issues because people are always comparing her to herself and Kim. No, little one, they compare her to Kim. No one knows who the hell you are. She says such comparisons are not fair because Khloe is a huge ass dinosaur while she herself is a petite little fairy.
I tried to tell her she's just big boned. Really really big boned.
As the doc starts the Velashape procedure Khloe starts cracking up.
Seriously, I'm gonna pee!
Next we see Kim and Kourt shopping. At first I thought they were at Dash and had an actual customer but the lady turned out to be a saleswoman. After Kourt tells us she worries about Kim's spending, the saleswoman tells her the total. $19,723.00
And for being such a great customer, here's a free pen.
Cut to a montage of Kim's spending habits. And Kourt's disapproval. According to Kourt, Kim's spending habits have increased as she's made more money. Well slap me silly. I always wait until I am broke and then go on a shopping spree. Kim is a sick sick woman!
Over at Dash now, Khloe is reading from a website where someone is calling her a tranny, a beast etc. Kourt tells us that it breaks down Khloe's self confidence when she's constantly being called an amazon creature. Uh no one called her that. Those are your words deadface.
You're not a tranny. They have smaller bones.
Khloe says reading that makes her want to kill herself. And just then, a total coinkydink I am sure, the phone rings. It's Peta and they want Khloe's amazon tranny ass to pose nude for their organization!
I love meat! Lots and lots of meat!
Khloe giggles and says she's not a veggie head and there must be some mistake. Nope. No mistake. They want her. She sets up an appointment. Then she tells her dead eyed sisters the wonderful news. Khloe then says she thinks maybe Peta wants to hold her hostage until Kim gives up her chinchilla coats.
We think you are being Punk'd.
Later at Dash, still with no customers, KabbagePatch makes an appearance. Khloe tells her Kim has a serious shopping problem. Kourt tells her she spent 20 grand in one shop. What to do? KabbagePatch offers that first she has to admit she has a problem. But they can't go to AA so where on earth do they go for help? Well to the internetwebbie thing. Kourt finds a specialist who deals with Kim's horrid illness and sets up a meeting.
As God is my witness, I shall save my baby from the demon shopping!
Khloe meanwhile is off to the Peta offices. She tells us she thinks of Peta as an extremist organization that throws paint on people. Well, don't they? Still she goes on in because hell, it ain't every day someone wants to take her picture. She walks in and there is a doggie laying on the floor.
Hey aren't you Kim Kardashian's brother?
Michele, the Peta rep, tells Khloe that she heard that she use to want to be a veterinarian when she was little. Yes she did. This has convinced Michele that Khloe must be a very compassionate person. Khloe is a little afraid and wants to think about it. Michele decides since she has her there, to show her some "videos". She warns her that some of the footage is graphic. Khloe says oh no prob, I've already seen Kim's big ass sex tape. Oh wait she means fur people videos. Of the animals being killed. Why did I get up this morning?
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Comments (9)
if either of the 2 younger girls become anorexic, we'll know why. die meltyface, die!
1 of 9 | Posted by mones | Posted on March 24, 2009 1:00 PM
OMFG, you have to look at the TMZ post for the Kardashian family. Apprarently, Hustler is doing an x-rated spoof on their reality show called "Keeping it up for the KardASSians" and the entire clan is suing.
Love your recaps,
Hugs
2 of 9 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on March 24, 2009 4:34 PM
What an asshole Meltyface is - they should sew his mouth shut.
Every time I see him I always think of the scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz - his skin texture looks exactly the same!
Thanks for another great recap, Cherie!
SWAK, PottyMouth
3 of 9 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on March 25, 2009 6:06 AM
Bruce Jenner looks like a middle-ages lesbian now. How dreadful!
4 of 9 | Posted by ubiquitous | Posted on March 25, 2009 6:38 AM
As a "normal" guy, I think Khloe looked super good in the screen shots you showed. She probably looks even better in "the flesh". Far in excess of the minimum requirements of any decent man who really loved her. (Probably far exceeds the fantasies of most ordinary men.) Shame on Bruce for reinforcing ugly stereotypes. I call emotional abuse!
5 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on March 25, 2009 8:41 AM
It is difficult to believe Bruce used to be considered attractive.
'Meltyface' is the perfect nickname for the man.
What an idiot he is for saying that stuff to Khloe.
6 of 9 | Posted by hoxharding | Posted on March 25, 2009 10:00 AM
I swear when he said that shit I broke into a sweat. Bastard. She was posing for Peta, it's not like she was trying to give Hef a boner. Which by the way I'm pretty sure from those pics she could give most men a boner. Being the jealous catty thang I am I wanted to find a flaw dammit!
Thanks everyone oh and YentaPatrol I went and looked at that TMZ story! Hahahaha I love it! This poor poor family, if only Robert Kardashian were there, he'd know what to do! lol
7 of 9 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on March 25, 2009 3:01 PM
I agree, fire@will, Khloe looks beautiful in the PETA ad. I mean, Kim isn't exactly a slender reed. The Kardashian girls are curvy--nothin' wrong with that.
I never thought Bruce Jenner was attractive, even in his heyday, but at least he was athletic and had a nice body. His face was meh and his hair was just sad.
8 of 9 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 25, 2009 9:51 PM
Is Kourt on drugs or something? She always looks out of it! Even in that other "reality show" FILTHY RICH she didn't look normal...
9 of 9 | Posted by nyla23 | Posted on March 27, 2009 1:28 AM