Hello there my sweeties. Here I am again to torture you with another episode of the Krappers. I swear this hurts me more than it does you so let's get right to Keeping Up With The Kardashians!
We start off with pandemonium. (by the way I asked my Mom how the hell you spell that shit and she said pandeRmonium!) LOLOL. Sorry just thought I'd share. Anyway seriously, it's crazy at the Kraphouse! People may die. The two little K's Kenmore and Kleenex are screaming bloody murder because the oven fries are Burnt! BURNT I SAY! Meltyface immediately blames this on KabbagePatch.
Suddenly Khloe tells her mom that her boobs look squished and then actually snatches them up from the beyond. That's just wrong. And gross. And typical of the Krappers.
Suddenly Meltyface notices KabbagePatch is dressed up and asks whats she's doing. Why she's slaving over a tortuously hot oven making a second batch of fries for her babies! My God man, those snots don't just feed themselves. He means why is she all slutted up. Because they are going out to dinner. She needs a break from all the horrors of pretending to work and he's taking her out or else.
He wants to stay and watch the game. She doesn't give a shit. He says going out to eat is drama. She says it's fun. I say drive into a tree already. Even the poor dog looks suicidal.
Next we see the Krappers all getting ready again. It seems 944 magazine is throwing Kourt a party to celebrate her first (and only) cover. She is over the freakin moon. I mean seriously, someone calm this girl down.
Captain Happypants doesn't want to go. He wants to stay home and cry with Kibbles about who has a krappier life. Kob's girlfriend Adrienne tells Meltyface he will love it when TI hits the stage. He doesn't know who that is. And he doesn't care. He says to us that the whole thing is gonna be boring and stupid and a complete waste of his time.
These people even argue over transportation. They have sent a car for KabbagePatch and Meltyface. Meltyface does not like this either. He wants to drive himself. Kris says gas is expensive and he says "So are those earrings you are wearing honey!" Haha good one.
On to the party. Kim tells us that Kourt is hosting this party to celebrate her cover for 944 and that of course when ever one of them is doing something really important, they all come out to support each other. And she says it's Kourt's night.
Inside everyone is smiling and having a good time. Drinking. Laughing. Everyone except Meltyface. Perez Hilton is there and KabbagePatch says "I don't know whether to hug you or kill you."
KabbagePatch tells us that every time they go to one of these events, she knows it's just a matter of time before Meltyface starts whining about leaving. Then why do you drag him to these things? Dope him up and leave him at home. It worked for the Girls Next Door. For a while...
Meltyface gets in her ear and says lets go. KabbagePatch says no. Yes. No. Yes. No. Kourt tells us that Bruce is a very mellow guy and she thinks" Kris is very selfish as to his needs and wants."
Cut to Kim and KabbagePatch at New Wave Perfume something or another. Kim is going to have a fragrance. First thought..eeewwwwww. Second thought, gives a whole new meaning to toilet water. Some asswipe with an accent tells Kim that he thinks between her and her name and elegance (hahahaha) they can have an amazing product. Yes because no one has their very own frangrance. What a concept! Whats next a clothing line? Oh wait...
Oh crap, she's still yapping. She says two years ago she trademarked the name "Dashing" in fragrance. She says she just loves it "Dashing by Kim Kardashian."
Back to Meltyface Manor. Meltyface is at the computer trying to sell himself on ebay and drinking out of a blender. KabbagePatch comes in to belittle and basically kill his spirit.
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Comments (1)
I love that Asshole Douche used the name "Patrick Bateman" in his prank call. That was Christian Bale's character in American Psycho...funny huh?
1 of 1 | Posted by Yanksfan24 | Posted on April 13, 2009 9:31 AM