If you remember what happened on the last episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, I pity you. I also pity myself because it's still relatively fresh in my memory. So just to recap Kim was a bitch, Khloe was a bitch, Kourtney was kind of a bitch and Kris did her best to stay out of it.
"Everyone's Meeeean To Meeeeee!" a Lifetime Original Movie
We pick up this episode as the crowd arrives in Denver for their family ski trip. And I use the term "family" loosely because Scott is there, but I also don't think Kylie and Kendall are. Bruce, or someone, has arranged for two car rentals from the airport. One is a Hummer, the other is a piece of shit Escalade. I bet that Escalade was made in 2007 or something.
Oh, I think I see one of the youngest Kardashian/Jenners. Kris decides she'll get more semi-involved in the fracas by forcing Kim to ride with her other siblings in the Escalade. I don't feel bad for Kim, but if it were pretty much anybody who didn't have a TV show for doing dick (literally?) I would, because people teaming up on you blows.
Oh, I get it. They're playing up Bruce's "mid-life crisis" by saying that he rented a Hummer. Because he's feeling old. Psh, he would totally rent a Corvette or a Bentley or something if that was the case. Also, I don't really care. Back in the sibling car (I'm still not actually sure I saw Kendall and/or Kylie. I don't think they were in the Hummer, and I didn't see one in the other car) Khloe voices her disbelief that Bruce would want/get a Hummer. Scott, driving asks who wouldn't want a hummer? Ohh, what a hilarious misunderstanding! He thought she meant a bj! Again he gets me confused with his slang terms though because he says "I thought you meant a good old-fashioned humdinger." So he's talking about a home run now? I'm confused by the stupidity.
Sorry about your penis.
Ok, I now can confirm that both Kendall and Kylie are on the trip. Everybody gets to the cabin and it's huge and beautiful. But, there's a problem. There's only one queen-size bed, and Khloe doesn't want to sleep with Kim. Bruce, pretty much continuing his awesomeness, tells the girls to work it out among themselves. I still don't really think that will make his time any more enjoyable though, since he'll just hear mostly shrill arguments. So he busts out the wine.
Kim, meanwhile, busts out her computer so she can iChat with Reggie. Kris is pissed because this is supposed to be a time for family bonding, yet Kim is completely shutting herself off to everyone except the guy she didn't record herself fucking. That we know of.
The next morning Bruce gets all gussied up to go out snowboarding. But apparently his clothes are for, say, a dude who's 20. He thinks he looks young and hip, but everyone else thinks he looks ridiculous. Then we see a montage of him snowboarding, but not doing too awesomely. Meanwhile, Kris is recording him doing it, and she appears to be wearing fur from head to toe. Literally. Even her boots look like they might be real animal feet that were cleaned out and fashioned into boots.
This is the first time I think I've actually hoped that PETA would show up and spray paint someone.
A little while later, after Kim feels sorry for herself boarding alone for awhile, Bruce is suddenly adept at snowboarding. He and the instructors become best buds, going up lifts together, and he even invited one of the dudes over for some beer at the cabin. Come be on tv and have free beer in the process. I would do almost anything for free beer, including appear on this show. Sounds like Bruce has a little man-date lined up.
« Survivor: Committing Hair-a-kiri | Main | Dancing with the Stars: ONE! Hundreth Episode of Dancing, Drama and D-Listers! »
Comments (4)
I only watched the beginning of the episode and I only have one comment: is it just me or does Kim look much better without all that spackled-on make up?
1 of 4 | Posted by RTVFan | Posted on May 10, 2008 2:11 AM
i pray daily for the demise of this unholy show, but if it has to exist, the consolation is definitely this recap. bravo.
2 of 4 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on May 10, 2008 10:25 AM
"So this is totally real. Kim says getting home wasn't as easy as she thought: she has to go to the bus station. Right. Kim Kardashian is going to ride a bus. Ok, I could kind of believe her leaving the family or whatever, but this is absolute shit."
I could not stop laughing when I read this. But you're right. If there's any proof that this show is staged, that's it. I doubt Kim would be caught dead on public transportation. And even if she did really want to catch the bus, it seems like too much of a coincidence that she heard Khloe's message right before getting on the bus. JUST IN TIME. Come on, producers. This is too much. Don't insult my intelligence. This was even more obviously staged than where Khloe was crying in the previous episode, but we never saw her face when she was crying. Then when they zoomed in, she had her sunglasses on so we couldn't tell if she was crying.
Real or not, I do think Kim was ganged up on. But, the whole fight was stupid anyway. It shouldn't have lasted more than an episode.
3 of 4 | Posted by hollabackboy | Posted on May 10, 2008 5:36 PM
I agree that the only good thing to come from the stinking heap of garbage that is 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' is in fact, this recap.
She is famous for having a big ass and a sex tape?!?
4 of 4 | Posted by Nemesiis | Posted on May 12, 2008 1:35 PM