Sorry to all one of you who reads about the delay in getting this recap up this week, but my social calendar has been packed. For real. I have friends! I can prove it!
See?
When I started my DVR for Keeping Up With the Kardashians this week, it had recorded a little bit of the show on E! before, which was titled "15 Acts of Super Violence" or something like that. A kid was talking about surviving the shooting at Virginia Tech last year. Then Kim came on, driving her Range Rover, texting or calling someone while driving, and bitching about traffic. Really puts things into perspective. Being in traffic with Kim is like surviving a shooting.
There is the realization that they're in rush hour traffic. This is a bad sign that I've just started the episode and already am annoyed by Kim's retardation. She's calling her boyfriend, Reggie Bush if you didn't know, to tell him she's going to pick up her Bentley, which is FINALLY ready. Having to wait for her car is like surviving genocide. I also want to point out that I'm glad there wasn't an episode last week, because we could all see what Reggie gets to see whenever the cameras aren't going.
Apparently Kim got it customized, and she says that she's worked very hard to get her Bentley. She's right though, having a big ass, having a rich dad, being a fame whore and fucking someone on the cusp of fame and recording it then releasing the tape are all very hard things to do. She's been dreaming of owning a Bentley since she was 12 (I didn't know what one was when I was 12) and she's finally fucked enough people and fame-whored herself out enough to make that happen. She's a role model really.
While Kim is driving to get her Bentley and stuck in traffic with Khloe, Kourtney and Skott (he might as well change his last name to Kardashian) in tow, let's check in with Bruce. He goes to see sons Brandon and Burt. Apparently Bruce loves alliteration. Also, Brandon kind of looks like a lumberjack. Or hippy. Brandon has a lot of cool cars and shit, and Bruce tells us that he used to have all kinds of shit before he met Kris. Then he tells his two non-fame-whoring sons (I don't really hate Brody all that much, but let's be honest) the same thing, and they ask when he's going to get a sports car.
When my daughters stop buying things like fucking chickens and trying to give me a nervous breakdown, that's when.
He says he's a carpool guy. Cry me a river Bruce, you drive a fucking escalade, it's not like it's a 97 Ford Windstar. He then proceeds to cry me a river as Brandon (who is a musician or producer or something) plays a blues song and Bruce freestyles the carpool blues. They all take their respective vehicles and drive to go play pool or get drunk or something (hopefully both!). $4.00 gallons of gas? Ha! Bruce would easily pay 6. Save the Earth everybody.
Kim must have been driving to the luxury car place for hours because it was rush hour when we last saw her, but now it's dark out. They play some really, really shitty song about having a dream or living a dream or something as Kim looks on as they finish up her car. Really tacky scene.
But guess what! Her car isn't ready! How dare they! Some fat dude in a stupid t-shirt, who is apparently the owner, tells Kim it should be like 10 minutes. Pshaw. The Kardashians will not wait 10 minutes. Well, apparently they will, but they will be displeased. While Kim is waiting, apparently Khloe and Kourtney are screaming. That's interesting, because in the scene they show, Kourtney is yelling at Kim and Khloe is walking up, but whatever.
Oh, apparently they're yelling at the owner of the dealership. They're bitching about having to wait 35 minutes. Khloe tells us she was yelling about the guy wasting everyone's time and money. I beg to differ, he's got his money, he's just wasting your time. And he also gets to be on camera. So he's probably getting more money. And, what, you just sat in traffic for 2 hours to get there, but 35 minutes is too long and wasting your precious time to not work?
Do you know how many sex tapes I could have made in 35 minutes?
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Comments (2)
Very funny (and honest) recap. I think it can be said that these girls are spoiled brats, and Kris' complete lack of discipline (I mean, I know they are in their late 20's, but have you heard how they talk to her? I don't care how old I am, my mother will always whoop my ass if I talk to her disrespectfully.) doesn't help them at all. It was funny to see Khloe's pent-up jealousy roar its ugly head, though. Although how could you not be jealous? Everything that Kim has, she got not from being talented and working hard, but for simply being born pretty. Her talents, if any, appear to lie in the bedroom (or the car, or wherever else she might be) and I bet that pisses Khloe off. Oh, and I was almost afraid to see what you were going to write about poor Miss Ellen K. Yikes, that chin and jawline! Anyhow, thanks for the recap. I enjoy reading them.
1 of 2 | Posted by amyeditor | Posted on May 5, 2008 12:31 PM
It's funny, bc I really don't get the jealous vibe from Kourtney or Khloe. I think they are just sick of Kim's antics. I almost died when Kim told them they were just jealous they couldn't get Bentley's. I don't know how they put up with her to be honest.
2 of 2 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on May 5, 2008 2:42 PM