***You might have noticed that TVgasm took a little nappy the past couple of days. Shows went on break for the 4th, a bunch of shows ended for the Summer, and we are now waiting for the new shows to start! Soooo, we're going to be bringing you some random recaps throughout the Summer that we don't cover full time, just so we can fully explore the TV scape and keep you reading even when Top Chef and Daisy of Love need a vaca! First up, please welcome Cherie with Kendra! Have a random show you wanna see recapped here? Leave a title in the comments or send it to me at Flipi75@gmail.com.
Hello there Gasmi! Today I bring you one of the best shows to ever be on tv. Ever. Ok that's a lie. It's really just a crap recap of a crappier show to keep you occupied until Big Brother starts. I bring you Kendra!
You know I have always wondered what it was like to be a Playmate. Then I started watching The Girls Next Door and saw Hugh Hefner and decided I'd rather be a fat girl with a husband born in the same decade as me. Anyhoo, either the girls of Next Door got sick of boinking a fossil or their contacts were up and out of Bridget, Holly and Kendra, guess who gets her own show?
We start off with Kendra waking up in her brand new house. She tells us she used to live with Hef and his 2 other girlfriends but now she is on her own. Her house is unfurnished and a mess. Much like the space between her ears. What's the first thing any respectable bunny wants in her house? That would be a stripper pole. Good thing Holly was along for the ride to point that out to her.
Kendra tells us that she met Hank Basket, her fiance, at a I don't know I wasn't listening, and she gave him her number. WHAT? But she was "dating" Hef at the time. Skank. Anyway she tells us he's different than any other guy she's dated. I guess that means he was born AFTER the Great Depression.
Kendra it seems doesn't know what she's gotten herself into. Hank is arriving today and moving in with her and she doesn't even know how to grocery shop! And she lets out that constipated hyena laugh that makes small children weep.
Her friend Brittany shows up. Brittany it seems is a country girl and she admires Kendra. Uhh what country is this girl from? Duhland?
She notices that Kendra's kitchen is quite empty of food and it's off to the grocery store they go. It would be stupid to make a list so Kendra decides they will just wander around and grab shit as needed. She also decides to ride in that cart thingy with wheels.
Around the store they go. Kendra knocks a bunch of apples over. Shocker. Then she and Brittany have a long intellectual discussion about whether Rice A Roni is Hispanic or Asian. Brittany says "Mexican!" Oh these two are just made for each other.
Back home they go. While putting away groceries they discuss the economy. Ok not really. I lied. Again. I may have to lie a lot because so far this show sucks ass. Kendra goes to put the eggs up and you'll never guess what happens.
Kendra's stripper pole arrives. She doesn't have a bed, or couches or sense but she just had to have that pole. Her plan she says is to become a master on the pole.
Kendra has come up with a pole routine called the Clam Open. She's very proud of it too. She tells us it's where two girls are on the pole and they are basically scissoring. Now there's a sentence you don't type everyday. Oh look. Mommy's coming for a visit. Kendra tells us that her Mom was terrified when she decided to leave the mansion. I don't blame her.
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Comments (6)
Cherie,
I will never watch this show but I will read every hilarious recap! Thanks for the real entertainment!
1 of 6 | Posted by wornsey | Posted on July 9, 2009 8:13 PM
I, also, will never watch this ridiculous show. I do hope that you continue to recap it for me though :).
BTW, I also think Mary is Hef's real true love.
2 of 6 | Posted by sanen85 | Posted on July 9, 2009 9:59 PM
At least I now know why my life has always felt like total chaos. I just haven't been making the proper rules.
From now on, Rule #1: No Puking on the Cake.
3 of 6 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 9, 2009 11:21 PM
I watched part of the ep where she had a yard sale and she had the Girls Next Door blanket for sale. Just now do I find out it was given to her by Bridg, lol!
Kendra better never get fat cause all she's got going is a skinny body and fake tits. Horrible laugh, unfortunate face, and she's dumber than shit.
4 of 6 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on July 9, 2009 11:21 PM
Funny recap, this show is ripe for jokes.
I didn't see this episode, but I saw one where they went on a trip to visit Hank's family. They stopped in some little town and toured a life size version of the Flinstone's House and car, etc. Kendra wanted to do it in Fred and Wilma's bed. It was pretty funny.
I will admit one thing, Kendra looked beautiful on her wedding day and the flowers were unbelievable. I expected her to have glitter and beads and crystals, but she didn't it was very nice. If it weren't for her two helium filled breasts, it would look like any other wealthy wedding.
But her laugh!! How could you live with that monotone machine gun laugh? I would need serious drugs to listen to that for more than a few minutes.
5 of 6 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on July 12, 2009 11:56 AM
Flipit- i would like to see a brooke knows best recap!
6 of 6 | Posted by heykate7 | Posted on July 14, 2009 7:10 AM