Oh Gasmii, can you believe the Kid Nation finale is here!? It seems like just yesterday I was calling Greg the Bonanza City stud, underestimating my affection for Laurel, and predicting that little Jimmy would be a key player. Twelve weeks later, here we are. Showdowns are a distant memory, the dry goods store is closed, and all that's left of the Mountain Dew Bombs are the faint sounds of fizzle. Worse yet, the kids have all gone home. It's just you and me now Gasmii. All we have is each other. Oh, and vodka. We'll always have vodka. At least I know I will.

Posted by Dr. McSteeny at 3:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Sorry for the delay gasmii, I've been recovering from my ten year high school reunion. It's true what they say about those things: they're a drunkfest. And if they don't say that about them, then they should start. Eric, America's player from Big Brother 8 graduated HS with me and I was all ready to do what Flipit called a "thorough interview at the punchbowl." I came prepared. Fist clenched as if holding a fake mic, and everything. But alas, America's Player was a no show, so I settled for a quick interview with a young Japanese man (shot) who called himself Kamikaze instead. He unexpectedly showed up with five of his relatives.

For reasons I will never understand, five-sixths of the way through the six hour open bar, someone handed me a microphone. I hear I spoke into it. I've asked to be spared the remaining details. Lesson learned gasmi: the only thing that should be placed near my mouth after five hours of an open bar is duct tape.

Speaking of lesson learning and means of kidnapping, let's see what's happening in Kid Nation.

Posted by Dr. McSteeny at 12:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (20)

This week Kid Nation was all about education and learning. Anjay learned that aliens do exist, Taylor finally learned her lesson, we learned what a terrific dancer Jared is.

If this doesn't inspire a Jared doll, I don't know what does

Posted by Dr. McSteeny at 3:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (26)

This week in Kid Nation, we learn all about communication. For example, at one point Greg talks to DK and Blaine about how Laurel and Michael and Sophia were talking about Greg and Blaine and DK but really it sounded to me like Laurel and Michael and Sophia were really just talking about Greg, but DK and Blaine get mad anyway because the believe what Greg said when he told them that Michael Sophia and Laurel were taking about them, and meanwhile the whole time Sophia and Michael are mad that Greg was listening to them talk in the first place. See what I mean? Communication.

Posted by Dr. McSteeny at 2:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (27)

This week we're faced with a very lopsided Bonanza city. The teams aren't fairly divided, and almost all the gold star winners have been from the Green District. Actually, that's beyond lopsided. That makes Tori Spelling's first set of fake titties look even.

No easy task

Posted by Dr. McSteeny at 10:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (21)

This week in Kid Nation, Greg cross dresses, Laurel proves she's the most fantastic child in America, and Guylan triggers my gag reflex. Everybody buckled up? Okay, let's go...

Posted by Dr. McSteeny at 2:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

This week on Kid Nation, we finally get the Jared footage we've all been waiting for. Now if I can just figure out how to get him wrapped up and shipped to my house with my very own Bonanza City necklace we'll be all set...

Posted by Dr. McSteeny at 3:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (14)

This week Kid Nation was all about trash. That's when it occurred to me that Kid Nation and the life of Britney Spears share so many common elements. And it goes far beyond pure trashiness. Unsupervised children: check. Over indulgence in soda: check. Gum chewing: check. Rebellion and occasional disrespect of authority: check, check. Damn. If one of these kids comes out with ripped fishnets, and the town experiences a "blackout" (the name of Britney's new album) I'm gonna be totally weirded out. Welcome aboard... It's Kid Nation, bitch.

Posted by Dr. McSteeny at 8:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (13)

This week in Kid Nation, Mike and Taylor cried a little, Greg finally got his gold star, and it was confirmed that the show's just not the same without a whole lotta Jared. An hour long show and only two shots of our Kid Nation hero and no speaking lines whatsoever? Are they serious? How's a girl supposed to accomplish a Jared quote of the week under these circumstances? They're controlling enough of it, the least they could do is arrange for Jared to get some choreographed face time. Oh CBSexecutiveproducer Nation... how you've failed me this week. I need my Jared dammit!

Posted by Dr. McSteeny at 2:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)

This week on Kid Nation, the Pioneers teach us that you don't have to convert in order to understand other religions, you don't have to be an adult to be in love, and that Taylor's never gonna get off her ass and do any work. Oh yeah, and the verdict against her on last week's charge of tear faking in the first degree: Guilty as charged. I say we stone her.

Posted by Dr. McSteeny at 1:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (29)