This week on Kid Nation, the Pioneers teach us that you don't have to convert in order to understand other religions, you don't have to be an adult to be in love, and that Taylor's never gonna get off her ass and do any work. Oh yeah, and the verdict against her on last week's charge of tear faking in the first degree: Guilty as charged. I say we stone her.
We open with Sophia and Morgan walking through Bonanza and Morgan asks Sophia if she thinks God put them there for a reason. Sophia responds that she stopped believing in God a while ago. So that's a "no" then? Then Morgan says she can't find a reason for her to be there. Uh, hullooooo.. you're there to make it big, land youreslf a permanent gig in hollywood and wind up in rehab by 19. You're parents didn't mention this to you? Still can't find a reason to be there? Try this one: the possibility of 20 grand. Amen.
The very next scene is Jared telling Guylan that back at school, kids said bad things about him because he's Jewish. Aw, this makes me sad for Jared. And sad for his schoolmates actually. I mean really, of all the things that are odd about Jared, you'd think they'd have a laundry list of things to tease him about, and the one thing they pick on him for is his religion? Aside from misplaced that's terribly mean. Really, who picks on a little kid like Jared? Oh, wait...
There wasn't enough drama last week, and nothing stirs up a little controversy like religion, so the "Original Pioneers" suggest that the kids hold a religious service of their choosing. It can be one group service or split up, they should decide. Oh jeez, could this be a more obvious staging of conflict. Why don't they just send the crips and the bloods in there and get it over with.
Back in the kitchen, the kids are discussing their religions proudly. Colton doesn't understand what Hannakauh is, and doesn't care to hear about it. Zack, and a couple of other kids team up and form what they call "Jew Crew," and the Christian club declares that Christians rule. Uh oh...the Christian Club v. Jew Crew battle. This never ends well.
The council gets all the Pioneers together and announces that there will be a service and they want someone from each religious group to speak. Anyone against it? Uh... yeah. One little Pioneer is against it. A little Pioneer named Everyone.
Fighting and arguing breaks out amongst the Pioneers, and Mike yells for everyone to shut up. Then the camera cuts to Mike who is telling the camera confessional-style that the council makes the decisions whether the Pioneers like it or not. Hmmm. "we make the decisions whether they like it or not." That sounds familiar to me. Where did I hear that? Oh yes, I think I heard it when I visited Taylorland. I believe over there it translates to "deal with it." Mike is constantly overreaching his authority. His power trips are so blatant and irritating. I keep trying to like him, but he insists on stopping me.
Laurel doesn't understand why everyone is so angry. You know what I don't understand? I don't understand why all of these kids have developed Herpes Simplex. I'm sorry, I've been trying to ignore it for the last three weeks, but it's spreading so rapidly, it's become the giant elephant in the room. Every time I look, another kid has a gross cold sore on their mouth. Laurel has two this week. What the hell is going on in Bonanza City? Do these kids have an ongoing game of kissy-face underway? More importantly, was there no Abreva in that supply wagon they pushed into town? The lip herpes have to go. It's grossing me out.
Why did I kiss that asshole?
The kids are still upset about the forced religious services, so Alex, who is nine, takes it upon himself to start a survey of everyone's religion. Not only is Alex so completely adorable and soft spoken and brilliant, but he also knows so much more about the different aspects religion than I did at nine. Hell, he knows more about different religions at nine than I did at fifteen. He's the cutest little thing. So sweet.
<
Love him.
The council tries to hold their forced religious services by ringing the dinner/alarmclock/service bell again, but nobody shows up. I can't imagine why? After all, nothing says "Welcome to Freedomland" like obligatory religious services being forced upon you by a four people you met 10 days ago.
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Comments (30)
Dr.McSteeny!!! Great recap! I totally knew the "I dont cheer,I meditate" was going to be the quote this week, who wouldnt love a jared spinoff?! Best captions-"I laugh" and "nice lip"
You didnt mention taylor saying to zack after he stood up and very articulately stated his concerns,"You need to sit down zack or you'll be scrubbin toilets with the green team" The kids need to get together nd perform something that when i was in school was called a blanket, when someone was a complete tool, you catch them offguard throw a blanket over them......to "soften" them up. I am not a total monster i recommend it be done by the girls, laurel,morgan, and jared:)(too bad codys gone he could have cried about it afterwards)
1 of 30 | Posted by lloyd dobbler | Posted on October 12, 2007 2:11 AM
How can you dislike Taylor? She's so awesome!
Shame on her not being more of an adult? She's still more useful than Jared.
2 of 30 | Posted by firecat | Posted on October 12, 2007 2:15 AM
Yeah I can't stand Taylor either. everytime I watch the show I catch myself hating her with the fire of a thousand suns, and then I feel ashamed because she's only a little girl.
I'm pretty sure the "herpes" is actually very chapped/cracked lips from the wind and cold there.
3 of 30 | Posted by girlfrompbo | Posted on October 12, 2007 4:32 AM
Shame on you Dr. McSteeny! Your recaps almost make me want to start watching this pathetic excuse for television.
4 of 30 | Posted by InsideThePerimeter | Posted on October 12, 2007 5:28 AM
Shame on you Dr. McSteeny! Your recaps almost make me want to start watching this pathetic excuse for television.
5 of 30 | Posted by InsideThePerimeter | Posted on October 12, 2007 5:30 AM
And I wish that this blog software would stop double-posting my comments.
6 of 30 | Posted by InsideThePerimeter | Posted on October 12, 2007 5:39 AM
And I wish that this blog software would stop double-posting my comments.
7 of 30 | Posted by InsideThePerimeter | Posted on October 12, 2007 5:40 AM
Wow...what a whirlwind of emotions.
Great recap...I too knew that the "meditate" line
would be the
quote of the week.
Too good to pass up.
I'm pretty sure this wonderful,
heavenly piece of art of
a television show was
not made by mere human hands, but by Our
Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Praise Jesus!
8 of 30 | Posted by Izmond | Posted on October 12, 2007 7:58 AM
Wow...what a whirlwind of emotions.
Great recap...I too knew that the "meditate" line
would be the
quote of the week.
Too good to pass up.
I'm pretty sure this wonderful,
heavenly piece of art of
a television show was
not made by mere human hands, but by Our
Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Praise Jesus!
9 of 30 | Posted by Izmond | Posted on October 12, 2007 8:00 AM
Could be the funniest quote I've ever read. Great recap for an episode I missed.
It's like my older brother always used to say in the ninties... "you catch more flies with honey." Oh, no, wait, in the nineties he said, "I catch all the fly honeys." My mistake, sorry.
10 of 30 | Posted by billyfrank | Posted on October 12, 2007 8:28 AM
AHH... I can't believe I forgot the scrubbing toilets! No excuse, I get a demerit.
Firecat, it's hard to describe my feelings for Taylor. It's as though I hate her and adore her simultaneously. She needs a nice little sit-down, no doubt, but would I ever really want her off the show? Not a chance in hell.
Praise Jesus indeed!
Thanks for reading guys!
11 of 30 | Posted by Mcsteeny | Posted on October 12, 2007 8:46 AM
I was also wondering what the heck was wrong with their mouths?? Through the whole show I kept lookin at all the kids lips to see who else got it. I was hoping you would mention that too. haha
I do so love this show. After reading your first recap, I decided to check out the show....and it got me hooked. Who knew there would be about as much drama with little kids as there are on the Real World(the real world took the cake this week though)
And am I the only one, but does it seem like alot of these kids act like adults?? Takin shots, crying over girlfriends, reading the bible,....amazing.
p.s. I heart Jared =)
12 of 30 | Posted by jozeyg | Posted on October 12, 2007 8:55 AM
Mcsteeny. I get what you are saying. I've said before that if she were an adult, I'd hate her. But since she's a kid, I find her amusing....kinda like how the Hitler Youth were cute.
13 of 30 | Posted by firecat | Posted on October 12, 2007 9:47 AM
I'm going to be laughing my ass off when she gets voted off the council next week. I wonder if she will shed some more fake beauty queen tears?
14 of 30 | Posted by girlfrompbo | Posted on October 12, 2007 10:11 AM
It hurts to see children crying (curse you, CBS!)... especially boys, since they are usually so conditioned not to. Cody gave up his mediocre shot at 20 grand, over a girl. I'd just like to know what she wrote in that letter. Girls are the Debbul, Cody! Get used to it!
As to Taylor, I don't know whether to blame her, her parents, CBS or Hollywood. When kids act like her (or Mike), the terrorists have already won!
15 of 30 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on October 12, 2007 11:05 AM
I cannot express how much I love you!
The entire show I was so amazed that every kid in that town had herpes. ugh. I wonder if that old "pioneer" journal will address herbal remedies for oral STDs
16 of 30 | Posted by goosegg1001 | Posted on October 12, 2007 11:35 AM
Fantastic Recap! Almost better than watching the show.
Poor Laurel!!! Someone get her some ointment post haste! Being a Rhode Islander (with a similar accent) I particularly enjoyed (and resemble) the remark "Laurel says that allowing the Pioneers to decide...is IMPAUTANT. I hope there's a dictionary in that pile of books... After Q and before S. Seriously". BA HA HA HA
17 of 30 | Posted by Farrell100 | Posted on October 12, 2007 3:35 PM
Jared's quote: "I...am...not....the....kind...of.... person.....who....does....the.....cheering....stuff... I meditate."
My husband suggested he meant medicate.
As for Greg, he won't see that Gold Star until the last episode. I'm sure the producers...um...I mean the Original Pioneers are steering the council to teach Greg Farkus the lessons of patience and humility. Pity they can't seem to do the same for Taylor.
18 of 30 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on October 12, 2007 5:00 PM
Great recap, McSteeny!
I just recieved a "vision".
Twenty or so years from now a grown up Taylor and a grown up Jared. Married. Taylor is basically the same but Jared grows into the next Bill Gates. They have children. Spoiled rotten,quirky and somewhat evil little children. Wait and see. I'll meet you all back here then.
19 of 30 | Posted by CheriesTake | Posted on October 12, 2007 6:04 PM
Taylor's my absolute fave character on TV!
I can't wait till next week to see the powermad little beauty queen who bosses everyone around but won't do any work get the big boot on election day.
I think its a riot that they do sprite shots. I imagine there's a lot of belching going on in that saloon.
I wonder who's idea that was and why. Frankly I'd never chug a pint of soda. They must be having serious sugar highs and lows. So much sugar, so little protein.
I wanna know how Greg got his chin scraped up. I feel like they're not showing us the good stuff.
I thought Cody's girlfriend was just perfect for him! :)
Honestly I'm enjoying the heck out of this show, but I wish they'd quit intervening with all these challenges and 'suggestions' and changes.
I'd rather just see 'em stuck in the roles they were first assigned and see how they interact.
20 of 30 | Posted by Dawn | Posted on October 12, 2007 6:39 PM
*What 9 year old has a girlfriend? Whats with that? I have 4 children with my youngest being 8 & 11. No WAY!
*Taylor? Who is putting makeup on this young girl. Boy she needs to be overthrown and taught a lesson! Snap!
*Who is telling these children to drink shots of soft drinks ie soda or pop? Most likely the producers. How pitiful is that?
*The religious week was so fake and forced. The puzzle? Is this Survivor of the children? Was that a clone of Probst?
21 of 30 | Posted by wincha | Posted on October 12, 2007 8:06 PM
That 9 year old is too young to have a girlfriend. I have 4 children, my youngest is are 8 and 11
Taylor needs to be overthrown. Can't. Stand. Her. Also, why does she have a makeup artist putting on makeup on her?
What idiot is coaching these kids to drink shots of soft drinks? How Lame!
Is this Survivor for kids? No Probst here but they now have the puzzles.
22 of 30 | Posted by wincha | Posted on October 12, 2007 8:14 PM
That 9 year old is too young to have a girlfriend. I have 4 children, my youngest is are 8 and 11
Taylor needs to be overthrown. Can't. Stand. Her. Also, why does she have a makeup artist putting on makeup on her?
What idiot is coaching these kids to drink shots of soft drinks? How Lame!
Is this Survivor for kids? No Probst here but they now have the puzzles.
23 of 30 | Posted by wincha | Posted on October 12, 2007 8:16 PM
I LOVE TAYLOR! she's hilarious, im only 16, and i've always said that if i were on reality tv i would be the bitch just because everyone loves to watch a bitch, she knows what she's doing and its great
24 of 30 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on October 13, 2007 10:11 AM
I love Taylor she is so cute. Im a Pageant Queen to and i always say "Deal With It" to my mom, my dad, my friends................
25 of 30 | Posted by PageantQueem101 | Posted on October 13, 2007 5:32 PM
I love Taylor she is so cute. Im a Pageant Queen to and i always say "Deal With It" to my mom, my dad, my friends.
26 of 30 | Posted by PageantQueem101 | Posted on October 13, 2007 5:33 PM
Taylor still annoys the hell out of me. I hope they overthrow her on the next episode. And you losers are probably jump on my case for talking about the little *sshole.
27 of 30 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on October 14, 2007 11:33 AM
It won't let me post a link here, but check out Laurel's official picture on CBS's site (view large). VERY liberal use of the smudge tool to get the sores out of the picture. It's painfully obvious because the freckles under her mouth have been turned into lines.
28 of 30 | Posted by Shaydie | Posted on October 17, 2007 2:44 PM
Taylor is a little wench and her parents should be ashamed by raising such a nasty spirited little b*****. Princess better find a rich hubby b/c its obvious shes lazy and has aaaaaaaaabsolutly no ambition to do anything for or to help anyone!!
29 of 30 | Posted by krystyna247 | Posted on November 30, 2007 6:24 PM
These kids cry like baby get over it. Taylor think she so fashion. Zach wants 20 gram before the finals.
30 of 30 | Posted by mespa7790 | Posted on February 5, 2008 4:57 AM