When Divad becomes aware of Jared's little "incident" she says she doesn't care, and claims that Jared is just jealous, and then she tells us how jealous people do things to try to break others' down. True- a little egotistical, but okay. Then she assures us that she won't be broken, it will just make her work harder. Well good for her. That's actually a super attitude. You're thinking you like her right now right? Yeah, just wait.
Divad calls Jared outside for a talk and Jared apologizes. Divad tells him it's ok, and that she forgives him and then they make up with a warm embrace. Aaaaaand scene. Now here is where my mind changes about Divad.
I know she is supposed to look like a good, forgiving child here, and at first I thought highly of her, but there is something... I don't know... grandly superior about her. Like she thinks she's above everyone else or something. I can't explain it, except to say that I just feel like she's one of those people who are really really good at giving backhanded compliments.
Anyway Jared and Divad make up. Cut to Jared in his tye-dye telling us "I need to add a little peace and love to this place." He's also wearing a peace sign necklace, just as a nice touch. This is the first time in my life I've felt something postiive about a hippy. History in the making folks...right here at the 'gasm.
The council get together and head to the library area, and we all know what this means. Blah blah blah Manipulation Handbook, blah blah blah, by now the town is short on money, here's a map, go find the buried treasure. I have an idea, while you're out digging for treasure kids, how bout you bury that manipulation handbook, m'kay?
Laurel thinks the treasure is a bad idea, because it will lead to greed. I agree with you Laurel, but do you know what greed leads to? Lots and lots of fabulous shoes. And lots of shoes can never be bad thing.
Guylan suggests that before they make a final decision they go see what the treasure actually is. They all agree with Guylan and head out. When the council gets up to the gold mine in search of the buried treasure, we discover that the cave is dark and there are bats, and it's scary. It's a very large, very dark cavelike dwelling that looks like this:
Wow. It's true what they say. Pam Anderson's vagina is wide enough to walk through with a lantern
In the cave, Laurel is scared, but Guylan's not. Speaking of scared, this brings us to the McSteeny rap star lesson of the week (this is actually a new schtick, but I'm throwing it in here subltly as if it's been going on since day one. Play along, will ya?). Eh hem... this week's lesson: The Short U Phenomenon. Rap stars say "scurred" instead of "scared." In fact, take any word with either the long A sound or the long E sound and replace the long A or E with a short U and you have yourself a rap star word. Well, at least a rap star word from the Dirty South region. (We'll get to "Dirty South" another day). Examples of the short U phenonenon include: It's getting hot in "hurr" and I have a new "purr" of sneakers. It's quite fun, feel free to try it at home. You'll really impress the kiddies.
Ok, so Guylan isn't scurred of bats. Then again Guylan lives on a zoo where the monkeys play cards with him-her, and the hippos read him-her bedtime stories, so he-she's not exactly a good standard by which to measure a fear. Or vaginas for that matter. Meanwhile, this whole kids in the cave in search for treasure scene is all very Goonies to me. I was just waiting for Laurel to say, "It's our time. Our time down here," and then pull Anjay against a wall and plant a kiss on him. That, or expecting the Throw Mama From The Train lady to pop out.
The council finds the treasure and discovers it holds 375 buffalo nickels. Laurel says she didn't know what to expect, and that for all she knew the treasure could have contained "cow pies." I have to be completely honest, I have no idea what a cow pie is, so I looked it up and for it's apparently some sort of chocolate pecan dessertish snack. Something in the cookie category it appears. Who knew?
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Comments (14)
Funny recap of a GREAT show. So glad Taylor's screen time was kept at a minimum, and Jared's was at an all time high. I had to rewind the part when he was pimp walking with his new threads and he said, "Do you want my outfit?" or whatever it was to no one in particular... That kid is priceless.
Oh, are you serious about the cow pie thing? Where I'm from, that is another name for a cow patty...i.e. a big steaming cow poo. Maybe it's a southern thing, but I never knew it to be something edible.
1 of 14 | Posted by AUgal | Posted on November 2, 2007 8:30 PM
Hi all-
Sorry for the delay this week. Also, in case there is any confusion, an earlier version of my recap was posted on Friday, so if you read this Friday night and now it seems different, that's why.
Thanks!
McSteeny
P.S. AUgal- I was serious about the cow pies and have been cracking up ever since you told me what it actually means! Not exactly dessert :)
2 of 14 | Posted by McSteeny | Posted on November 3, 2007 11:31 AM
McSteeny...It's like you were in the room with me while I was watching this episode! I, too, surmised Divad's parents had wanted a boy but instead got a girl. Given her over-healthy self-esteem, however, they don't seem to mind the bait-and-switch, and must give her plenty of attention.
Why didn't anyone call Divad on re-selling them their own food??? She's taking community food from the kitchen and selling it back to them on the street, so she may be an entrepreneur, but her business is built on thievery.
Loved Jared's classic cowboy oil-skin coat...but what an odd thing for the General Store to stock.
I see someone already filled you in on what cow pies really are. Are you familiar with cow chip throwing contests?
One last thing: I e-mailed a photo for you to Flipit. It's of a business here in Massachusetts: a "phamacy." Yup. No "R" on the sign.
3 of 14 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on November 3, 2007 11:56 AM
Absolutely FanTabulous Recap!!!
I cracked up at the tale of the bake sale caper in your youth. I snorted diet Pepsi through my nose when you caught me off guard by casually revealing yourself as the thief!
BA HA HA HA
I felt that same kinda there's-something-amiss-with-this-kid feeling about Divad. I CANNOT believe you did not slam her with the "I am voting for me, AGAIN" comment, when the town council asked for public input on who should get the gold star. Divad is a SHAMELESS self-promoter. Her self-esteem is WAY too high and she is WAY too vocal about it. I'm glad Nathan got the gold star, and he deserved it. Pharoah only started working when he knew there was something he could win, and Nathan, OCD or not, has been working from the get go, for the good of the whole town. I also took umbrage at Pharoah's "I need it the most"....how does he know that? AND, even if he does, it's not based on need but who works the hardest to earn it. Glad to see Kid Nation has Republican leanings. ;o)
4 of 14 | Posted by farrell100 | Posted on November 3, 2007 1:42 PM
Long time reader first time poster.... I had a tear down my face from laughing so hard at your Jarred pimping. Don't stop writing this, it's more entertaining than the actual show. I LOVE YOU.
5 of 14 | Posted by erintat | Posted on November 4, 2007 6:03 AM
Is it just me or does Sophia remind anyone else of a young Christy McNicol (think "Little Darlings")?
6 of 14 | Posted by sweetblondie | Posted on November 5, 2007 12:42 PM
Dear McSteeny,
I absolutely love this show and your recaps!!! I look forward to it every week and literally smile throughout reading the entire thing! I never really understood all the Jared hoo-ha until this episode, and now I want to kidnap him as well. This is really embarrasing but I don't care to admit it since everyone else here loves the show, but I watched this episode 3 times!!!! 20 days have passed and the trials and tribulations of Bonanza City are halfway over, so let's hope they give Jared some more screen time like this! Divad is absolutely ridiculous.. I just don't understand how skewed some people's perspectives are.. making signs for the gold star?!? Good to see Greg put her in her place.. I loved when she was like, "I do do work, I helped Jasmine with the laundry," then it quickly cut to who I assume is Jasmine with the most shocked expression she could possibly make!
7 of 14 | Posted by steez | Posted on November 5, 2007 3:37 PM
Dear McSteeny,
I absolutely love this show and your recaps!!! I look forward to it every week and literally smile throughout reading the entire thing! I never really understood all the Jared hoo-ha until this episode, and now I want to kidnap him as well. This is really embarrasing but I don't care to admit it since everyone else here loves the show, but I watched this episode 3 times!!!! 20 days have passed and the trials and tribulations of Bonanza City are halfway over, so let's hope they give Jared some more screen time like this! Divad is absolutely ridiculous.. I just don't understand how skewed some people's perspectives are.. making signs for the gold star?!? Good to see Greg put her in her place.. I loved when she was like, "I do do work, I helped Jasmine with the laundry," then it quickly cut to who I assume is Jasmine with the most shocked expression she could possibly make!
8 of 14 | Posted by steez | Posted on November 5, 2007 3:41 PM
Another fine recap.
My late father was the teacher in a one room country school. At recess, the 17 students would play softball in the cow pasture next door. Fielders had to memorize where all the "fresh" cow pie surprises were so they could run after a fly ball without stepping on a fragrant pie mine.
9 of 14 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 6, 2007 11:52 AM
Apparently everyone in the world knows what cow pies are but me. Oh well, that's what I get for being a city slicker. My knowledge of cows is medium well with a side of fries.
Cattyfan: needless to say, I'm unfamiliar with cow chip throwing contests, but must admit that I am intrigued. Never got the email from Flipit, I will pester him to send it to me- too funny. (PS love your recaps too!)
Thanks for the positive comments guys, means a ton!
10 of 14 | Posted by McSteeny | Posted on November 6, 2007 1:33 PM
Great recap! I was so glad to see so little of Taylor. That was getting so old. Jared is a goldmine of comedy. Love him.
Greg's problem is most likely hormones. He's at that age. Like a cross between a Tazmanian Devil and a young Leif Garrett. Drama is to be expected!
11 of 14 | Posted by CheriesTake | Posted on November 6, 2007 8:46 PM
OK, I just heard of this website with the demise of the TV Guide blog on Kid Nation and I have to say that I have really been missing something. Love me some David Steed, but McSteeny, you are flippin' hilarious.
Although you aren't going to like me for this, I really think Jared is a really weird kid. I don't think I could spend much time with him before I went apeshit on his butt.
Ok, I'm off to read the archives of all your Kid Nations blogs I've missed. Dang, I hope the boss doesn't hear my snorts and guffaws...
12 of 14 | Posted by Splotchie | Posted on November 8, 2007 8:00 AM
Just love the comments and the blog and can not wait to see what you post this week.
13 of 14 | Posted by kn2007jared | Posted on November 9, 2007 8:49 PM
Someone should ask Nathan if he still wants to eat lunch with Matt Montini. (A friend of mine used to always use the name Matt Montini when he didn't want to give his real name!)
I agree about Mike, too. I actually like him since he was stripped of power. Taylor has been tolerable, too. I am hating Divad now. I laughed when I heard potato grease burned her azz.
14 of 14 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on November 13, 2007 7:51 PM