This week Kid Nation was all about education and learning. Anjay learned that aliens do exist, Taylor finally learned her lesson, we learned what a terrific dancer Jared is.
If this doesn't inspire a Jared doll, I don't know what does
In preparation for this week's episode, and in response to the overwhelming demand for Dexter commentary, I decided to call Dexter after work on Wednesday night and invite him over for a little Kid Nation. I've known Dex for a while now, and usually I think of him as twisted with inexplicable sexual deviancy, but it wasn't until Wednesday's conversation that I found him, well, almost charming. Perhaps it was his casual laugh when I mentioned he was a Tvgasm celeb, perhaps it was the gentle romantic breeze in the air, perhaps it was the 4 glasses of wine I downed at the happy hour after work. Who knows, really.
We open Kid Nation with some more chicken killing. Yummy. Emilie is upset, which comes as no shock, because we all know that she and the chickens have a longstanding relationship in which she agrees to protect them in exchange for the chickens letting her go first when they play hopscotch.
Taylor is upset, but only because they might be killing the brown ones. Wait, is this gonna turn into some sort of chicken discrimination issue? I hope not, cause I have to be honest, I don't do politics. Unless voting in Us Weekly's "Who Wore It Best" competition counts.
Um...is there an option for c) none of the above?
No worries, as it turns out the issue is not of the highly controversial chicken races, but rather the fact that Taylor doesn't want the brown ones killed because the brown ones are the cute ones, and therefore the only ones Taylor cares about. Obviously. I mean, everyone knows that only cute animals should be saved. Somewhere out there an animal rescue place is adding Kid Nation Taylor to their "To Egg Bomb" list. Just below Ellen Degeneres, I would think.
Fighting in the coop continues, and starts to get physical. Emilie and Taylor are yelling and kicking, but Greg says they're killing ten chickens like it or not.
Sophia comes up with the idea that perhaps if Taylor and the girls get to decide which of the ten chickens will be sacrificed, then the killing will be ok. What do you know, that plan actually works. Taylor goes through and takes out the brown ones and the one with the red head, and then tells Greg, "those are ugly you can have them." Well. Aren't you just the poster child for the "It's what's inside that counts" campaign?
Away from the coop, Jared, Alex and Anjay are playing a little game I like to call Who Wants to Be SmartButAloneWhenTheyGrowUp? Question One: Who knows the exact numerical value of pi. Suddenly Emilie rushes into the room..."Did somebody say pie?" No, I'm just kidding, that didn't happen. Luckily she wasn't close enough to hear.
Anjay tries to pretend he knows the answer but screws up at the third or fourth decimal place. Pshh... amateur. Alex corrects him and spouts out a number too quickly for me to get down in my notes to check for accuracy. The confidence in his voice suggests he was right though. Have I mentioned how much I adore him?
And here we have the building I designed and constructed when I was three
Question number two, as posed by Jared- True or False: there once existed extra terrestrial life in the solar system? Anjay guesses again: false? Wrong, Jared replies. And then he gives us our quote of the week: "2 billion years ago, there was...from a chunk of mars, a two billion year old fossilized bacteria." I mean, are they words for such a statement? Aside from God Bless You, I mean.
Cut to the council heading towards the shack with the Manipulation Handbook.
"Oh not this God damn thing again." Dex complains.
The Manipulation Handbook suggests that the Pioneers take the "History of Bonanza City" books and study. Study? Get serious MH. It's day 36. Nobody's effin studying, homie.
When the council goes to tell the Pioneers they have to study, some of the Pioneers are upset. Especially the illiterate ones and the ones who left their reading glasses at home. I'm looking at you Olivia. I saw you squinting at the Bonanza Leader Board last week. Stop hiding it.
Don't you play cat and duck with me
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Comments (26)
great recap mcsteeny and happy bierthday dex
1 of 26 | Posted by warof7 | Posted on November 29, 2007 4:55 PM
McSteeny, love the recap, and whaddaya want with K-Fed anyway? Oh, you mean you are not persuasive... Well, you convinced me to say Happy Birthday to a borderline pedophile...HB, Dex!
2 of 26 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on November 30, 2007 4:23 AM
Great recap, and great episode.
Seriously, Hunter winning that award nearly had me in tears. Sad, huh? He's deserved it for a long time though.
Oh, and Taylor's parents have created a monster. I feel so bad for her future boyfriends/husband, whatever. She's a handful.
I'm glad council went through with the punishment. There was nothing like watching her reaction to losing out on the arcade.
Happy birthday, Dexter!
3 of 26 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on November 30, 2007 7:00 AM
Awesome recap.
Hey, should I be scared that Dex has the same birthday as me? Or honored? hmmmm....
4 of 26 | Posted by neverenuftv | Posted on November 30, 2007 7:16 AM
Great recap, McSteeny!
Happy Birthday Dex & neverenuftv - my b-day was yesterday.
Sags rule!
5 of 26 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on November 30, 2007 8:28 AM
I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS WEBSITE! I think I'm obsessed with you guys.
Anyone notice the super-nice kitchen behind Hunter's out-of-work Dad?
6 of 26 | Posted by LOVETHISSITE | Posted on November 30, 2007 10:33 AM
I think this is the best website ever. I laugh out loud every time I read a recap. THANK YOU!
Anyone notice the super-nice kitchen behind Hunter's out-of-work Dad?
7 of 26 | Posted by LOVETHISSITE | Posted on November 30, 2007 10:35 AM
Sorry for the double post. I didn't think my first comment went through :)
8 of 26 | Posted by LOVETHISSITE | Posted on November 30, 2007 10:37 AM
Hi Guys!
As always, thanks for the love!
Happy Birthday neverenuftv and Happy belated Birthday lexxi1129.
In case there is any confusion, the original recap (posted Thursday Night) included a wordy side side story about how I ineffectively tried to seduce Dex on Kid Nation night. The side story ended up taking up A LOT more space then I thought appropriate, and I figured the readers were more concerned with reading about kid nation than my lack of respectable game, so I changed the recap around leaving out the unecessary (albeit somewhat entertaining) details. Anyway, in case people caught the limited edition version of the recap last night, and are confused about the change, that's why.
Love ya Gasmii!
9 of 26 | Posted by McSteeny | Posted on November 30, 2007 11:12 AM
Happy Birthday Dex!! The kids always give in to Taylor, that's why she acts like she does. When they told her the first time that she wasn't going to get a reward because she wasn't working, they felt bad and gave her the letter anyway. She promised that she would start working (like we haven't heard that since the beginning of the show) and then at this challenge they said that she broke her promise and hasn't done any work even though they gave her the letter, then on top of that would not join in with the history books,so she would not get the reward and just because she did the dishes ONCE (and I am sure Hunter helped her, and they edited it out), Greg CARRIED her into the arcade. What a bunch of numbskulls, tomorrow I predict, Taylor will stop working!!
10 of 26 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on November 30, 2007 11:14 AM
Great recap McSteeny! I enjoy reading your recap almost as much as watching the show every week. Also to LOVETHISSITE I also immediately noticed the plush kitchen in the background of Mr. unemployed father's house. I thought to myself Wow mom must be really bringing home the bacon or that was one hell of a severance package! Keep up the great recaps.
11 of 26 | Posted by CHRISW78 | Posted on November 30, 2007 11:15 AM
Wow. Why are people so fixated on that kitchen!
It's possible this kitchen was remodeled BEFORE he lost his job.
...just thinking "out loud."
Carry on.
12 of 26 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on November 30, 2007 11:23 AM
Once again, a great recap McSteeny. I thought of you when Greg scooped up Taylor to take her to the arcade.
Personally I thought that was unnecessary. All the other kids do their work [OK, Jared and Mike skipped out this time, but normally they work] and get no special treatment. Taylor finally works [for no reason other than to be able to go to the arcade] and she's treated like a queen.
Oh and the Jared ET bit was hilarious, but he didn't actually say bacteria, he said bacterium which is the plural of bacteria and much more obscure and thus seriously hilarious coming out of his little body. And Alex saying he loves playing pi games because they are fun...sure kid, whatever.
Happy B-DAY Dexter!
13 of 26 | Posted by Splotchie | Posted on November 30, 2007 11:25 AM
McSteeny, don't tease that way! You simply must provide the details of your failed seduction attempt. Although WTF is the matter with Dexter that he wouldn't man up and give it up? Are you too old just because you've actually reached the age of majority ;) ?
14 of 26 | Posted by Splotchie | Posted on November 30, 2007 11:33 AM
To CHRISW78: Hello brother dear! It is quite sad that we are both commenting on this since we watched the show roughly at the same time, in the same house, one floor apart. But I had the same though about the kitchen...even though being in the south probably a big factory lay-off.
15 of 26 | Posted by shan_evans | Posted on November 30, 2007 11:41 AM
Well, Splotchie,
I happen to have had the pleasure of reading McSteeny's pre-changed blog (I search for it every Thursday morning in anticipation) and I can assure you that you are, in fact, missing out! The failed seduction plan was well thought out and even better explained and I, for one, cannot figure out where she went wrong. Perhaps the lit "Glade Scented Oils" just didn't do it for him. In any event, if I were you, I'd beg her to re-post the unedited version and see for yourself. It made my "Top 3".
Keep it up, McSteeny.
16 of 26 | Posted by clopez818 | Posted on November 30, 2007 12:35 PM
i also caught the old one i havent read the new but ur failed attempt was pretty funny i must say
17 of 26 | Posted by warof7 | Posted on November 30, 2007 2:30 PM
Love your recaps and the show.
I suspect that your seduction failure has more to do with Dex than anything you did. Pedophiles tend to be very picky in thier "tastes", especially about age. You are probably a dollar short and about fifteen years late. (Or, I can give Dex benefit of the doubt and assume he is gay. No other explanatoin explains how he could pass up an obvious babe like you.)
Thought Greg's carrying Taylor was inappropriate, on a couple of counts; especially after the construction worker style comments he, Blaine and DK were making in the street.
18 of 26 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 30, 2007 2:37 PM
Well, I love to read everything here, but, I had to make a comment about others comments concerning the kitchen that everyone is talking about. My husband is a carpenter and everyone (not just carpenters) can get granite counters for very cheap. Same with stainless appliances (or any appliances for that matter). You just have to look for the deals. Maybe this kids father was in the construction business or knows someone that is. Anyone can get brand new appliances for next to nothing if there is a small dent or ding in it. We have stores here that one can go to anytime. Same with granite and cabinets. Maybe they are simply renting this house. Who knows. But, I do know that you don't have to make alot of money to live in a very nice place. I know this because we just remodeled a house we bought and didn't have to pay what most people do because we looked for deals and know people.
19 of 26 | Posted by nwokpeach | Posted on November 30, 2007 10:37 PM
Is Jared "special" or just one of those "A Beautiful Mind" types that are so smart, they're socially awkward. When he was dancing, I couldn't help thinking I was watching a dance break from a number during a Labor Day Jerry Lewis telethon.
20 of 26 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on November 30, 2007 11:31 PM
Dear Doc. I wanted you to know that Laurel's Mom is not the only parent that loves your recaps. I happen to be Michael's Dad (the long haired Green Team member)and have found all your musings on Kid Nation to be amazing. After each episode I rush to my computer to see what you have to say. I am very glad that the coin flip allowed you to poke some fun at the kids. Thanks a million.
21 of 26 | Posted by wthot | Posted on December 1, 2007 1:08 PM
Dear readers.....I happen to be McSteeneys mom and I want to thank you for all the support you have given my personal favorite recapper. In case your all wondering, she is as good looking as she is a writer. Happy Holidays to all!
22 of 26 | Posted by McSteeneysmom | Posted on December 2, 2007 11:37 AM
Hi Michael's Dad!
Hearing from you reminds me about an issue I meant to raise in the recap last week and forgot: Michael mentioned two episodes ago that his birthday was in a few days, but no mention of it last week. No Bonanza City party for Michael, or did we just not get to see it? I'm hoping the latter.
Thanks so much for the comment. I truly appreciate the support, and it's so thrilling to me to hear from Kid Nation parents, you have no idea!
A coin flip reference-wow you've been reading since the precap!
Many many thanks!
-McSteeny
23 of 26 | Posted by McSteeny | Posted on December 3, 2007 7:15 AM
When I read the precap I knew that your recaps would be great and have read everyone. As you have noticed the Green Team was really close and they didn't forget Michael's Birthday. I am going to try and make a scrapbook to embarass Michael with someday. All of your recaps will play a prominent role. Thanks again, it is a great gift being able to make people laugh.
24 of 26 | Posted by wthot | Posted on December 3, 2007 10:18 AM
Hey McSteeny, me again! Haha. Anyway, great recap once again. Anyway, I can't believe all of the parents took this long to post! But, hi, anyway!
Can't wait to see next episode's recap.
(also: I was late this week!)
25 of 26 | Posted by Derek512 | Posted on December 4, 2007 5:14 PM
Love ya McSteeny! I almost pee my pants every time. Too many zingers to quote just one. I must say I am very interested in your seduction abilities and defnitely don't mind your sidetrack stories (which only solidifies my opinion that you are the best Gasm Recapper, since it annoys me when others do tell of their personal life).
Also a very Happy Birthday wish to Dex - here's to hoping you'll spend the last few Wed. nights with McSteeny - feel free to update us on the "Top Ten Hottest Asses in Bonanza City"!
26 of 26 | Posted by steez | Posted on December 5, 2007 3:30 PM