This week in Kid Nation, Greg cross dresses, Laurel proves she's the most fantastic child in America, and Guylan triggers my gag reflex. Everybody buckled up? Okay, let's go...
Before we get started, I wanted to tell you that this week I watched the show with a guy named Dexter. Actually, his name's not Dexter at all, but here at the 'gasm we like to maintain a certain level of anonymity. Take the name Dr. McSteeny for example: Wholly inaccurate. I'm not a doctor. Or Irish for that matter.
So to protect his true identity, I'm calling him Dexter. If your cable subscription includes Showtime, then you can guess why. If you don't have Showtime, mix cute with a little bit of emotional unavailability. Then add a dash of disturbia. Heat at 450 degrees for 45 minutes, and viola... Dexter.
Dexter's the person who pushed me to start writing recaps in the first place. Without Dex there'd be no McSteeny, and for that I will be forever indebted to him. As repayment, I've already decided that when I'm rich and famous, I will let him carry my bags and my second blackberry for me. In the meantime, I let him watch tv with me sometimes and will now quote the awful and absurd things that come out of his mouth. Gasmii meet Dexter, Dexter, meet Gasmii. Try not to kill each other.
We open with a very bored Bonanza City. Sophia is so bored that she lies down on the ground. Michael is so bored that he joins her. Jared and a bunch of other Pioneers are so bored that they join Michael and Sofia. Know who else must be bored? The guy CBS paid to sit in front of the locked closet holding all the toys the kids just received last week so they'd have nothing to play with today.
Eventually they are all lying down, and they're doing so in a way that they are all sort of on top of each other. Dex makes a gross comment that I won't repeat here, but suffice it to say it includes the word "orgy."
Is anyone else uncomfortable with this?
Always eager to resolve a pesky script obstacle, DK rings the town bell and calls an impromptu town meeting. All the Pioneers arrive looking very confused: DK is ringing the bell even though he's not on the Council... the kids are wearing ponchos even though it's not raining... it's all very confusing.
The kids agree that they're bored. No shit you're bored. You turned down all the good rewards. Bet those dune buggies sounds awfully good right now huh? Don't worry kiddies, I bet back in 1889 people were bored and inexplicably wearing ponchos, so the Manipulation Handbook will know what to do. In fact, the MH does know what to do. As a side note, I wonder how long will it be before Jared starts burning wood necklaces with the abbreviation for "What Would The Original Pioneers Do" on them. More importantly, where can I buy one?
The MH suggests a play or a talent show. Which basically means that the MH suggests a talent show, because most kids don't really like plays. At least not the straight ones. The council notifies the general public of the talent show and everyone is excited. Including me, because it turns out that Jared is going to be reciting a Shakespeare monologue. I can't believe he thought of that. It's like he's reading my mind.
Concentrate McSteeny. And nooow you are thinking about ice cream
In addition to Jared's Shakespeare Monologue, Greg and Blaine will be doing their own version of Romeo and Juliet. Contrary to what we might expect, Olivia will not be doing her famous duck impression (Step One: turn to the side, Step Two: take a bow) but rather, she will be doing a stand-up comedy routine. "Is she serious?" Dex asks. "As a heart aquack," I respond. Those quack jokes will never get old to me. I could do them all day.
Before we get to see the performances, the kids have some work to do. We are introduced to some new characters this week: Migle and Natasha. Migle and Natasha are in the blue district and therefore are upper class this week. They're so over Bonanza City, and don't want to do much work. They're very cute girls who are into clothes and shopping, and Alex tells us that they're known as Paris and Nicole. Then he tells us he has no idea what that means. And that is why I love him
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Comments (10)
Great recap. Laurel was terrific but I think Amazing Grace without R's could be pretty funny. Would it sound like amazing gas how sweet the sound?
1 of 10 | Posted by wthot | Posted on November 10, 2007 7:09 AM
I command you to spend every wednesday night with dexter. thank you...
I almost cried from laughing when DK asked laurel to sing. All I thought was "give the boy a gold star and hes done being nice and ready to start humiliating everyone" and then she sang... and i was shocked. I hope this isnt the last we see of her.
Holy banana bread, I need jared to win a gold star. I must see his parents.
Jared had commented on greg/blaine in dresses and said something along the lines of "not letting their fruit of the looms hang out" I definitely thought that was gonna be the Jared quote of the week.... Unless I completely misinterpreted. I wish I recoreded this show so I could replay it.
Great Recap.
2 of 10 | Posted by goosegg1001 | Posted on November 10, 2007 9:22 AM
Don't take my fun away...
I have been waiting all these weeks for Anjay to get punched in the face.....
after Taylor kicked the shit outta him....
seriously, who is in charge around there?
And what has happened to the less the lusterous Michael...
I thought he would understand to step up and work his act to get the gold star....
he is severely disappointing me.
I know they want to high light other children but they can't get them all and we do need a bit more crazy from Taylor....
3 of 10 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on November 10, 2007 2:11 PM
i hate the sound of children singing. maybe that makes me soul-less, but i hate it and i hated laurel singing (even though otherwise, she is ok in my book).
4 of 10 | Posted by aman | Posted on November 10, 2007 3:25 PM
As usual McSteeny, a wonderful recap. But, AMAN I can't believe you hate the sound of children singing, yes, that does make you soul-less!
5 of 10 | Posted by Justamom | Posted on November 10, 2007 6:40 PM
goosegg1001: I CANNOT belive I forgot about fruit of the looms. I had it written down in my notes and everything. So classic Jared.
I'll see what I can arrange with Dexter.
Giffordsaz: I agree wholeheartedly whith everything you wrote.
Thanks for reading everyone!
6 of 10 | Posted by McSteeny | Posted on November 12, 2007 7:28 AM
been readng awhyle. very funny stuff every week. that dexter guy sounds cute. if you wouldn't mind putting a phto up of him....
7 of 10 | Posted by greglover22 | Posted on November 12, 2007 7:51 AM
been reading awhyle. funny stuff every week. if you wouldn't mind posting a photo of dexter...sounds cute
8 of 10 | Posted by greglover22 | Posted on November 12, 2007 7:55 AM
Great recap. I've gotten all caught up with your past ones and you are fanflippintabulous!
I was a bit disappointed in the talent show really. I don't like kids [or anyone for that matter] that just act like a doofus and call that talent or an act so Kennedy winning the gold star for that piece of crap just stunk. How great would it have been if Divad's manager had won it for her actual piano playing ability, can you imagine Divad's reaction to that shit? heh, heh, heh.
Which part was Greg playing exactly? At first he came out in a dress, but then Blaine had a dress on and seemed to be playing the chick role or was I just confused by the editing? Anywhozil, very limited talent in this group although both piano players were fabulous and Lauren is quite the little singer.
I couldn't believe those kids were actually laughing WITH Olivia instead of AT her. They genuinely seemed to think she was funny. Weird.
I know that the preview made it look like Greg was going to be the bad guy again, but I think we should withhold judgement until the show. Lets face it, Anjay can be a butthead quite a lot of the time so Greg may be absolutely justified in punching him in the face :)
9 of 10 | Posted by Splotchie | Posted on November 12, 2007 11:05 AM
Splotchie:
Welcome aboard! So happy you've enjoyed the recaps so far. My new mission is to make it so that you forget TV Guide ever existed. :)
10 of 10 | Posted by McSteeny | Posted on November 12, 2007 12:45 PM