Greg and Blaine tell Paris and Nicole that if they don't work, Greg and Blaine are going to throw the showdown to make sure blue are laborers and then assign Paris and Nicole to toilet duty. So that would be like, The Simple Life: Maid in Bonanza City, right? Sounds catchy. I like it.
"That's hot"
"Loves it, bitch"
Before the show down, Anjay gives a pep talk asking if Blue is going to win and Greg replies with a quick "no." Got a laugh out of me this week Greg. I guess don't hate you.
This week's showdown is kinda gross. The kids have to chew gum balls and then hand the chewed gum to their council member who has to stick it on a board which is sort of a paint by number. Only in this case, it's stick by letter. The producers are really hurtin for ideas here huh? Here's an idea: pull the big fan out again and make the dust blow so Jared can yell "It's a twista!" again. Everyone loves that.
The kids start chewing away and the council starts sticking. Anjay even chews already chewed gum. Good idea Anjay. There aren't highly contagious mouth issues going on in Bonanza. Chew away my friend. It's basically a dirty germ fest. Nathan must be losing his OCD mind in there.
At one point someone on yellows team decides that the more wet the gum is, the better it will stick. So they spit on the gum before handing it to Zach, who understandably refuses to take it, and we see the saliva hanging off. This is so gross. Isn't there a chicken they can go kill or something?
Guylan is particularly turned off by the chewed gum-sticking showdown. He tells Jonathan he feels like he's going to throw up, and I kind of believe him. Cut to Guylan in a confessional, where he tells us how gross it was. And then he proceeds to gag. Which, of course, makes me gag, because everybody knows gagging is contagious. It's like yawning. Or lip herpes.
Thankfully the showdown ends, and Green comes in first for the first time all season. Blue comes in second, Guylan's gagging ass comes in third, but yellow doesn't finish, so the kids don't get a reward. Which totally sucks because the reward they would have picked would have been a big dance party, and I would kill to see some of these kids dance. I could have made this recap 8 pages long if they danced. Bastards.
Oh well, at least we have the talent show. I can barely contain myself as the kids prepare for their performances. Jared practices his over and over, because he really wants to nail it. He just keeps reading and reading and rehearsing and rehearsing, and I just can't get enough of it. He should be forced to speak Shakepearean for the rest of the season.
When the day of the talent show finally arrives, I'm on the edge of my seat. Some of the acts are just plain terrible (Campbell's bird noise, for example) but hey, at least they got up there and did something. Gotta give them credit for that.
Others actually displayed tremendous talent. Like Divad's agent. Divad's agent comes out and plays a beautiful piano piece. Well great. Thanks a lot Divad's agent. I'll just come up with jokes and ways to make fun of people on my own. No need to help.
Greg and Blaine are much more helpful. Their version of Romeo and Juliet includes them coming out dressed up as girls. Greg looks like this:
Dead sexy
The kids get a huge kick out of Greg in his girly outfit. Especially Guylan.
Oh my God Anjay. How funny does Greg look in my dress?
Olivia comes out to do her stand-up routine, and the kids seemed to like it but I thought it was awful. So did Dex. I was actually uncomfortable. I mean, I actually felt embarrassment on her behalf. For one, her jokes were terrible, and "for two" she talked in a really annoying voice. I think it was supposed to be her stand-up comic voice. Whatever it was, it had to go. I cringed for a full three minutes. Slow torture I tell you. Slow torture.
Finally Jared comes to sell us some Shakespeare. Sell on young man! Keeping in line with the borrowing each other's clothing theme of the day, Jared appears to have borrowed a brown vest from Greg. Perhaps to make his standard tye-dye outfit a bit more sophisticated. Works like a charm. Now he looks like Aladdin.
Prince Ali Ababwa
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Comments (10)
Great recap. Laurel was terrific but I think Amazing Grace without R's could be pretty funny. Would it sound like amazing gas how sweet the sound?
1 of 10 | Posted by wthot | Posted on November 10, 2007 7:09 AM
I command you to spend every wednesday night with dexter. thank you...
I almost cried from laughing when DK asked laurel to sing. All I thought was "give the boy a gold star and hes done being nice and ready to start humiliating everyone" and then she sang... and i was shocked. I hope this isnt the last we see of her.
Holy banana bread, I need jared to win a gold star. I must see his parents.
Jared had commented on greg/blaine in dresses and said something along the lines of "not letting their fruit of the looms hang out" I definitely thought that was gonna be the Jared quote of the week.... Unless I completely misinterpreted. I wish I recoreded this show so I could replay it.
Great Recap.
2 of 10 | Posted by goosegg1001 | Posted on November 10, 2007 9:22 AM
Don't take my fun away...
I have been waiting all these weeks for Anjay to get punched in the face.....
after Taylor kicked the shit outta him....
seriously, who is in charge around there?
And what has happened to the less the lusterous Michael...
I thought he would understand to step up and work his act to get the gold star....
he is severely disappointing me.
I know they want to high light other children but they can't get them all and we do need a bit more crazy from Taylor....
3 of 10 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on November 10, 2007 2:11 PM
i hate the sound of children singing. maybe that makes me soul-less, but i hate it and i hated laurel singing (even though otherwise, she is ok in my book).
4 of 10 | Posted by aman | Posted on November 10, 2007 3:25 PM
As usual McSteeny, a wonderful recap. But, AMAN I can't believe you hate the sound of children singing, yes, that does make you soul-less!
5 of 10 | Posted by Justamom | Posted on November 10, 2007 6:40 PM
goosegg1001: I CANNOT belive I forgot about fruit of the looms. I had it written down in my notes and everything. So classic Jared.
I'll see what I can arrange with Dexter.
Giffordsaz: I agree wholeheartedly whith everything you wrote.
Thanks for reading everyone!
6 of 10 | Posted by McSteeny | Posted on November 12, 2007 7:28 AM
been readng awhyle. very funny stuff every week. that dexter guy sounds cute. if you wouldn't mind putting a phto up of him....
7 of 10 | Posted by greglover22 | Posted on November 12, 2007 7:51 AM
been reading awhyle. funny stuff every week. if you wouldn't mind posting a photo of dexter...sounds cute
8 of 10 | Posted by greglover22 | Posted on November 12, 2007 7:55 AM
Great recap. I've gotten all caught up with your past ones and you are fanflippintabulous!
I was a bit disappointed in the talent show really. I don't like kids [or anyone for that matter] that just act like a doofus and call that talent or an act so Kennedy winning the gold star for that piece of crap just stunk. How great would it have been if Divad's manager had won it for her actual piano playing ability, can you imagine Divad's reaction to that shit? heh, heh, heh.
Which part was Greg playing exactly? At first he came out in a dress, but then Blaine had a dress on and seemed to be playing the chick role or was I just confused by the editing? Anywhozil, very limited talent in this group although both piano players were fabulous and Lauren is quite the little singer.
I couldn't believe those kids were actually laughing WITH Olivia instead of AT her. They genuinely seemed to think she was funny. Weird.
I know that the preview made it look like Greg was going to be the bad guy again, but I think we should withhold judgement until the show. Lets face it, Anjay can be a butthead quite a lot of the time so Greg may be absolutely justified in punching him in the face :)
9 of 10 | Posted by Splotchie | Posted on November 12, 2007 11:05 AM
Splotchie:
Welcome aboard! So happy you've enjoyed the recaps so far. My new mission is to make it so that you forget TV Guide ever existed. :)
10 of 10 | Posted by McSteeny | Posted on November 12, 2007 12:45 PM